Meet The Press
August 16, 2009
Fmr Sen. Tom Daschle
Sen. Tom Coburn
Frm Rep. Dick Armey
Gov. Bill Ritter
Rep. Charles Rangel
Gregory: welcome panelists - did any of you
bring a gun this morning?
Armey: don’t leave home without it
Coburn: lock and load [ slides chamber ]
Gregory: ok ok
Gregory: Nazi references, swastikas, death threats, guns - this is all a bit disturbing
Coburn: indeed the fact that Obama is out of
control is very disturbing
Gregory: but these protestors are acting
Coburn: but their actions are justified
- after all Obama is clearly a fascist
Gregory: you’re kidding right
Gregory: oh my
Armey: look colorful people like Tim McVeigh
will always show up at town hall meetings
Gregory: good god
Armey: Besides Move On ran ads comparing
Bush to Hitler
Maddow: no they didn’t - that’s a lie
Armey: there’s nothing wrong with urging unhinged lunatics to think of the President of a tyrant who needs to be killed
Maddow: I can’t believe what I am hearing
Coburn: It’s all Obama’s fault for being the
first black Nazi President
Gregory: don’t you think this is appalling
Armey: well anyway this is all Nancy Pelosi’s fault
Maddow: Freedomworks is promoting violence
Armey: yes but when people are falsely accused
of promoting violence it makes them so angry they get violent
Gregory: Chuck Grassley says the health reform
bill will murder old people
Coburn: the idea that government would have
any role in medical care is basically totalitarian
Gregory: I find your world view fascinating
Coburn: we need real health reform based
on the Bible
Greogry: you say you want a civil debate
- so you start off
Coburn: the Democrat’s health reform plan
will kill people
Daschle: I plan on writing a strongly worded letter
to Coburn about this
Gregory: Governor is Obama a failure?
Ritter: Obama is out there telling the truth and
Gregory: but isn’t the real concern about deficit
and debt and raising taxes on wealthy anchors of Sunday tv talk shows?
Ritter: no, and the rumors have reached Colorado that you’re a moron
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ] Rachel, Obama
can’t guarantee that people will never lose their private insurance!
Maddow: even for you Greggers that’s stupid
Armey: I was reading this bill last night around a campfire with a flashlight under my chin and then as I was talking Obama called a patient
and he demanded $21,000 for a new liver!
Daschle: well since we haven’t passed the bill
yet that's the system you created Dick
Coburn: the health care system is awesome
Dashcle: not in life expectancy
Coburn: oh you can’t the success of a health
care system by how long people live
Gregory: 50 million have no insurance and it will
cost $1 trillion!
Rangel: I know!
Gregory: Charlie isn’t the crank in Montana right about raising taxes on poor tv anchors?
Rangel: jesus christ - fuck you Greggers
Gregory: ok but what about the plan
Rangel: I hope we do raise taxes on your
pasty white ass
Gregory: you scare me
Rangel: I’m glad because I don’t like you fluffyhead
Gregory: will Obama raises taxes on poor people?
Rangel: I’m sick of the hatred being churned up - why don’t the churches and mosques condemn it??
Gregory: that’s who you expect to calm people down?
Rangel: well they started it
Gregory: Tom Obama’s plan will bankrupt us
Daschle: if we don’t change we will spend $35 trillion
Maddow: or we could just save money by using
a public health plan
Armey: I’m scared to death of Medicare concentration camps
Maddow: you think seniors really want to get out
Armey: no they love it - but the idea of good health plan for the elderly is tyranny
Maddow: so just to be clear - you are fucking insane
Armey: there are secret internal memos which imprison poor people if they refuse free health care
Gregory: aren’t the insurance companies innocent victims of greedy hospitals with their fancy clean surgical instruments?
Daschle: um no
Gregory: speaking of which - isn’t the real problem lazy Americans getting free gold plated health care and therefore demanding a new needle for each person - why not just wash them?
Coburn: that’s right - we need to be more efficient
by privatizing Medicaid and letting people choose to die on their own
Gregory: a Death Panel of the Mind
Gregory: isn’t a public option inherently unfair?
Armey: that’s right, it is - we need to let people from New Jersey buy insurance in Texas which is better because it covers gunshot wounds including if you are in debt to the mob
Gregory: wait til BlueCross finds out the mafia
is cutting in on their action
Maddow: hey dick, there is no state with secretly awesome health insurance
Armey: but this would hurt private insurance businesses
Maddow: good - they’ve failed
Insurance guy: but people might leave private insurers for the public option
Daschle: well that’s freedom
Coburn: look even if Obama’s plan is terrific in everyway it requires hiring new government employees which we cannot accept
Gregory: who’s ‘we’?
Coburn: me and the other people in my
Gregory: Rachel, what will liberals accept?
Maddow: if Obama accepts less than a public option he will have riled up public anger and spent political capital for nothing
Gregory: Dick will Obama succeed?
Armey: no I don’t think he will
Gregory: and who would know better about
failing that Dick Armey?
Gregory: thank for watching