Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - January 4, 2009

January 4, 2009

Matthews: OMG Obama said he feels pressure to keep the promises he made but the Villlage will pressure him not to!!!

Burnett: well why not cut middle class tax cuts?

Brooks: everyone likes middles class tax cuts!

Matthews: well why didn't George Bush do it?

Brooksies: ah i just found out - he's an asshole

Matthews: raise taxes on the rich?

Klein: no there aren't any left after Bush's presidency

Matthews: 2 million news jobs!??

Burnett: he's going to build 1 million news tennis courts and pools

Brooks: amen!

Tweety: but it won't happen tomorrow that liar!

Klein: he's not a presidential candidate who lies - he means what he says

Tweety: wow!

Klein: they will be shovel-ready jobs

Tweety: i've got something he can shovel!

Tweety: i want to to talk to a smart conservative - but instead here's david brooks

Brooks: i'm filled with foreboding in my experience government never works

Tweety: who do you know?

Brooks: conservatives

Klein: aha

Tweety: wow health care is favored by business

Burnett: shocking I know

Brooks: my irrational fears are troubling to me

Tweety: we are going to need alot more doctors and nurses

Klein: yes the american system is a mess

Tweety: i was talking about me

Tweety: holy shit barack blinded me with a science-based administration

Burnett: i want me some stell cells

Brooks: i'm scared i eat carbon for breakfast

Burnett: wind sucks

Tweety: i bathe in oil

Tweety: OMG Nixon's entire career was based on hypocrisy!!

Burnett: heee heee

Tweety: Bush I and Bush II too

Brooks: oh well you can nit pick

Klein: those were the days

Tweety: OMG Obama was elected on a promise to withdraw from Iraq will he please stay!!

Brooks: sadly the Iraqis want us to lead - which means Obama must lie to them and the people to stay

Tweety: Afghanistan forever!!

Brooks: it turns out Obama was right which means he was wrong

Klein: you idiots the reason its tough is because it's important

Tweety: can we invade Grenada again that was fun

Brooks: boo yah!

Tweety: wow Obama promised to be a dumbfuck on Israel

Klein: turns out the middle east is not easy for America to solve

Burnett: why does America have to solve it at all

Brooks: don't worry your pretty head Erin we're men so we're experts on everything from Syria to nuclear power

Norah: can i talk?

Tweety: sure i dig you sweetums

O'Donnell: Longer school days!

Tweety: the nuns used to beat me

Burnett: i knew i would be on your tv show tweety so i brought toilet paper

Tweety: the golden lining for the economy?

Burnett: the rich still are swimming in money

Brooks: don't squeeze me bro!
Tweety: will Obama win the presidency again?!!?

Norah: air force one baby!

Burnett: he'll have a good year if he gets a good stimulus

Brooks: he will have a good year if he gives in to Republicans early

Klein: in your dreams weiner

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