Meet the Press
January 18, 2009
Guest: Rahm Emmanuel
Gregory: what will our new Kenyan-American Overlord say on Tuesday?
Emmanuel: he will say that for too long we've had a culture of Anything Goes!
Gregory: in olden times a glimpse of stocking was really quite shocking
Gregory: what will we be sacrificing?
Emmanuel: not it's about sarifice it's about a value system of responsibility
Gregory: I just realized that after 25 years of big Republican spending that government spending is bad and staggering!!
Emmanuel: yes i noticed monkey-face
Gregory: i never cited 'per household debt' while Bush was president but as of today we under Obama Rules
Emmanuel: Republicans - Anything They Want; Democrats - Bad Whatever They DO
Gregory: I see you've Played Sunday TV before
Emmanuel: indeed i have Dancin' Dave
Gregory: but the debt!!
Emmanuel: hey Dancin' Fool the Dems handded Stupid a surplus and we in the middle of a vast and major economic crisis
Gregory: Yes but under Obama Rules Bush tax cuts for the rich are awesome and middle class tax cuts are irresponsible
Emmanuel: you are a silly person
Gregory: Jerry Lewis said Pell Grants, physics research, habitat restoration are OHHHHHMAAAAYYYY
Emmanuel: oh yeah right fuck college education
Gregory: but, but, but, it's not shovel ready!!
Emmanuel: why don't go dance with karl rove you hypocritical fucker
Gregory: What do you say to critics who say that Obama is actually to trying to implement the policies he was elected to do?
Emmanuel: he is
Gregory: but i don't recall sally quinn giving her permission
Emmanuel: i don't recall her winning the state of Indiana
Gregory: i obsessed on Blago last week and now Tim Geithner
Emmanuel: hey did you know a historic inauguration is taking place next week?
Gregory: whine whine whine
Gregory: let me return to my obsession with Roland Burris
Emmanuel: you need therapy dude
Gregory: but King Obama let Burris be seated
Emmanuel: he has to follow the law
Gregory: no i'm pretty sure Presidents don't have to do that
Gregory: what conversations did you have about Blago the senate seat
Emmanuel: fuck you
Gregory: but the transcripts show you did nothing wrong how do you response to this proof of your guilt
Emmanuel: fuck your mother David
Gregory: is he Blago guilty?
Emmanuel: fuck your sister too
Gregory: Is Bush a great President because we only had one Biggest Domestic Attack Ever??
Emmanuel: yes it's the great joy of my life to have only lost massive numbers of America lives in a preventable attack only that one time
Gregory: Polls say a huge number of people - 29% - say people want bipartisanship - but you are mean and evil
Emmanuel: Obama is the motherfucking president and I am willing to work with Republicans in our joint efforts to crushing conservatives and salting the earth with the dust of their bones
Gregory: well ok then - anything else you want to add to change the tone
Emmanuel: thanks for having me Dave and oh fuck you
Gregory: this is a historic moment
Goodwin: more than most - economic crisis, wars, and first black President
Goodwin: plus Obama is a great writer and orator
Gregory: it's quite something
Goodwin: people will be watching in diners and bars
Brokaw: even Republicans are willing to set aside their hate because their 401ks are shrinking
Gregory: if MLK were here we would 80 and a ghost
Smiley: King would be happy today but it's not all about Black Faces in High Places
Gregory: he's very tall
Smiley: Obama's got to challenge the US people
Todd: He's testing driving his inaugural address
Gregory: he's a poet not a prosaic
Todd: the number one thing he has to do is make people sacrifice which is what all Democrats must do
Brooks: we need to move beyond Democratic ideology and unite behind massive spending and investing social security in the stock market
Gregory: is Obama Abe Lincoln?
Goodwin: I slept with Lincoln and his beard itched me
Brokaw: what was the Lincoln bedroom like?
Goodwin: when it's rocking don't come knockin - unless it's to announce the civil war is over
Gregory: i never knew you were Abe's lover
Doris: i lived with him for years and woke up with him every morning and slept with him every night
Smiley: if he's Lincoln then who is Frederick Douglass?
Gregory: Liberal bloggers
Brokaw: i drove out to Bull Run yesterday and reminisce about my days fighting there
Brooks: Lincoln was born a poor black banker - he hated the nanny state
Brokaw: the Greatest Generation brought us war-winning and arts
Gregory: did they really
Brokaw: i hate baby boomers but the real point is that the Great Generation
was tough and we've gotten soft gawd dammit
[ waves rake ]
Gregory: who is Obama?
Todd: Obama is an appeaser
Gregory: that's good
Todd: midnight basketball is for weenies
Smiley: we need to get large amounts of federal bailout money to poor people
Brokaw: ha ha ha -- thanks i needed a laugh in these tough times
Brokaw: people are losing their second homes!
Smiley: banks are using the money for fucking bonuses!
Brokaw: which is Obama's fault!
Gregory: let me obsess more on Blago and Warren
Brooks: what strikes me about Obama is that unlike Bush he doesn't sneer and belittle everyone who disagrees with him
Gregory: what a weirdo
Gregory: Tavis Obama snubbed you even though you are incredibly boring
Smiley: i have come to the conclusion that he ran a good campaign but i don't think Obama knows how to govern America
Gregory: and you do?
Smiley: yes i have a deep voice and middle-of-the-road positions
Goodwin: once when i was sleeping with LBJ he said America's problems are not just a negro problem
Gregory: Doris you have led one wild life