Sunday, January 18, 2009

Meet the Press - January 18, 2009

Meet the Press
January 18, 2009
Guest: Rahm Emmanuel

Gregory: what will our new Kenyan-American Overlord say on Tuesday?

Emmanuel: he will say that for too long we've had a culture of Anything Goes!

Gregory: in olden times a glimpse of stocking was really quite shocking

Emmanuel: indeed

Gregory: what will we be sacrificing?

Emmanuel: not it's about sarifice it's about a value system of responsibility

Gregory: I just realized that after 25 years of big Republican spending that government spending is bad and staggering!!

Emmanuel: yes i noticed monkey-face

Gregory: i never cited 'per household debt' while Bush was president but as of today we under Obama Rules

Emmanuel: Republicans - Anything They Want; Democrats - Bad Whatever They DO

Gregory: I see you've Played Sunday TV before

Emmanuel: indeed i have Dancin' Dave

Gregory: but the debt!!

Emmanuel: hey Dancin' Fool the Dems handded Stupid a surplus and we in the middle of a vast and major economic crisis

Gregory: Yes but under Obama Rules Bush tax cuts for the rich are awesome and middle class tax cuts are irresponsible

Emmanuel: you are a silly person

Gregory: Jerry Lewis said Pell Grants, physics research, habitat restoration are OHHHHHMAAAAYYYY

Emmanuel: oh yeah right fuck college education

Gregory: but, but, but, it's not shovel ready!!

Emmanuel: why don't go dance with karl rove you hypocritical fucker

Gregory: What do you say to critics who say that Obama is actually to trying to implement the policies he was elected to do?

Emmanuel: he is

Gregory: but i don't recall sally quinn giving her permission

Emmanuel: i don't recall her winning the state of Indiana

Gregory: i obsessed on Blago last week and now Tim Geithner

Emmanuel: hey did you know a historic inauguration is taking place next week?

Gregory: whine whine whine

Gregory: let me return to my obsession with Roland Burris

Emmanuel: you need therapy dude

Gregory: but King Obama let Burris be seated

Emmanuel: he has to follow the law

Gregory: no i'm pretty sure Presidents don't have to do that

Gregory: what conversations did you have about Blago the senate seat

Emmanuel: fuck you

Gregory: but the transcripts show you did nothing wrong how do you response to this proof of your guilt

Emmanuel: fuck your mother David

Gregory: is he Blago guilty?

Emmanuel: fuck your sister too

Gregory: ok

Gregory: Is Bush a great President because we only had one Biggest Domestic Attack Ever??

Emmanuel: yes it's the great joy of my life to have only lost massive numbers of America lives in a preventable attack only that one time

Gregory: Polls say a huge number of people - 29% - say people want bipartisanship - but you are mean and evil

Emmanuel: Obama is the motherfucking president and I am willing to work with Republicans in our joint efforts to crushing conservatives and salting the earth with the dust of their bones

Gregory: well ok then - anything else you want to add to change the tone

Emmanuel: thanks for having me Dave and oh fuck you

Gregory: this is a historic moment

Goodwin: more than most - economic crisis, wars, and first black President

Gregory: indeed

Goodwin: plus Obama is a great writer and orator

Gregory: it's quite something

Goodwin: people will be watching in diners and bars

Brokaw: even Republicans are willing to set aside their hate because their 401ks are shrinking

Gregory: if MLK were here we would 80 and a ghost

Smiley: King would be happy today but it's not all about Black Faces in High Places

Gregory: he's very tall

Smiley: Obama's got to challenge the US people

Todd: He's testing driving his inaugural address

Gregory: he's a poet not a prosaic

Todd: the number one thing he has to do is make people sacrifice which is what all Democrats must do

Brooks: we need to move beyond Democratic ideology and unite behind massive spending and investing social security in the stock market

Gregory: is Obama Abe Lincoln?

Goodwin: I slept with Lincoln and his beard itched me

Brokaw: what was the Lincoln bedroom like?

Goodwin: when it's rocking don't come knockin - unless it's to announce the civil war is over

Gregory: i never knew you were Abe's lover

Doris: i lived with him for years and woke up with him every morning and slept with him every night

Smiley: if he's Lincoln then who is Frederick Douglass?

Gregory: Liberal bloggers

Brokaw: i drove out to Bull Run yesterday and reminisce about my days fighting there

Brooks: Lincoln was born a poor black banker - he hated the nanny state

Brokaw: the Greatest Generation brought us war-winning and arts

Gregory: did they really

Brokaw: i hate baby boomers but the real point is that the Great Generation
was tough and we've gotten soft gawd dammit

[ waves rake ]

Gregory: who is Obama?

Todd: Obama is an appeaser

Gregory: that's good

Todd: midnight basketball is for weenies

Smiley: we need to get large amounts of federal bailout money to poor people

Brokaw: ha ha ha -- thanks i needed a laugh in these tough times

Brokaw: people are losing their second homes!

Smiley: banks are using the money for fucking bonuses!

Brokaw: which is Obama's fault!

Gregory: let me obsess more on Blago and Warren

Brooks: what strikes me about Obama is that unlike Bush he doesn't sneer and belittle everyone who disagrees with him

Gregory: what a weirdo

Gregory: Tavis Obama snubbed you even though you are incredibly boring

Smiley: i have come to the conclusion that he ran a good campaign but i don't think Obama knows how to govern America

Gregory: and you do?

Smiley: yes i have a deep voice and middle-of-the-road positions

Goodwin: once when i was sleeping with LBJ he said America's problems are not just a negro problem

Gregory: Doris you have led one wild life

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Oh, thank you x 1000 for making me laugh at the bobbleheads. This is so much better than actually watching the shows.