January 4, 2009
Guest: Sen. Harry Reid
Gregory: hi i hope you all a terrific new year and oh some rockets fired somewhere
Engel: rockets go up and rockets go down
Engel: so Israel in now moving ground forces in
Gregory: but Hamas has weapons that doesn't seem fair
Engel: don't worry Israel has bulldozers
Gregory: oh ok
Gregory: no one likes Hamas
Engel: true the governments don't but the people on the street support Palestinians
Gregory: cease fire
Engel: Israel would love one but first Hamas can't have any weapons
Gregory: makes sense
Gregory: Senator was this offensive or defensive?
Reid: well i asked the Prime Minister and he told Hamas has to come to their sense and stop climbing fences
Gregory: so sad
Reid: hey they gave them Gaza as a a gesture for peace if it were us we would invade canada
Gregory: forcibly remove Hamas?
Reid: yes - no - whatever
Gregory: why not seat Burris
Reid: oh i now i can't Blago is obviously corrupt
Gregory: he hasn't even been charged!!
Reid: irrelevant he's got a big cloud over his head
Gregory: now what
Reid: if he steps down then he can appoint who he wants
Gregory: I'm confused
Gregory: will you refuse to seat Burriss
Reid: hey the Senate can seat anyone we want even George Bush's horse
Gregory: some say Burris' appointment is legal
Reid: yeah but Adam Clayton Powell had been accused of something in this case Burris has not
Gregory: mah haid is spinning
Reid: everyone in Illinois is tainted
Gregory: isn't this about your fear of being accused of taint
Reid: oh no I don't think so
Gregory: strong denial!
Gregory: you rejected three black men and now you say you don't hate blacks
Reid: David you fell Blago's lies
Gregory: but you might be on tape!
Reid: so what Blago just makes shit up
Gregory: well don't we all
Gregory: Prince says you're a racist
Reid: purple states rain!
bobby rush: just appoint the black man!
Gregory: will send the police to block Burris
Reid: i will do whatever mitch mcconnell wants to do
Gregory: sounds good
Gregory: what is the most important goal for the government
Reid: to be bipartisan
Gregory: what if that stops getting something done
Reid: too bad
Gregory: what else
Reid: my batteries need to be replaced and the Vegas housing bubble needs to be reinflated
Gregory: sounds good
Reid: also America is now so rich all cancer treatment has been halted and patients have been a big foam finger USA # 1
Reid: stop all foreclosures - no wait no
Gregory: do you have any ideas at all
Reid: we have a dem president and dem senate and dem house so i need to check with Mitch McConnell
Gregory: payroll tax cut?
Reid: umm hmm i dunno
Gregory: my 401k sucks so please solve it desert boy
Reid: i plan to write a strongly-worded letter to the SEC
Reid: well not too strongly-worded
Gregory: you say the 2008 election proved Americans are centrists
Reid: i plan on working with John McCain
Gregory: but he lost!
Reid: but he's mah fwend
Gregory: you were wrong about Iraq!
Reid: true but I was right when said the war was lost it was lost
Gregory: but teh Surge!
Gregory: but the war cannot be lost - we're Americans!
Gregory: don't you regret being mean to poor widdle George Bus?
Reid: heh heh heh i regret that we let that incompetent dick run this counrty in the ground for 8 years