Sunday, January 11, 2009

Meet The Press - January 4, 2009

January 4, 2009
Guest: Sen. Harry Reid

Gregory: hi i hope you all a terrific new year and oh some rockets fired somewhere

Engel: rockets go up and rockets go down

Gregory: interesting

Engel: so Israel in now moving ground forces in

Gregory: but Hamas has weapons that doesn't seem fair

Engel: don't worry Israel has bulldozers

Gregory: oh ok

Gregory: no one likes Hamas

Engel: true the governments don't but the people on the street support Palestinians

Gregory: cease fire

Engel: Israel would love one but first Hamas can't have any weapons

Gregory: makes sense

Gregory: Senator was this offensive or defensive?

Reid: well i asked the Prime Minister and he told Hamas has to come to their sense and stop climbing fences

Gregory: so sad

Reid: hey they gave them Gaza as a a gesture for peace if it were us we would invade canada

Gregory: forcibly remove Hamas?

Reid: yes - no - whatever

Gregory: why not seat Burris

Reid: oh i now i can't Blago is obviously corrupt

Gregory: he hasn't even been charged!!

Reid: irrelevant he's got a big cloud over his head

Gregory: now what

Reid: if he steps down then he can appoint who he wants

Gregory: I'm confused

Gregory: will you refuse to seat Burriss

Reid: hey the Senate can seat anyone we want even George Bush's horse

Gregory: some say Burris' appointment is legal

Reid: yeah but Adam Clayton Powell had been accused of something in this case Burris has not

Gregory: mah haid is spinning

Reid: everyone in Illinois is tainted

Gregory: isn't this about your fear of being accused of taint

Reid: oh no I don't think so

Gregory: strong denial!

Gregory: you rejected three black men and now you say you don't hate blacks

Reid: David you fell Blago's lies

Gregory: but you might be on tape!

Reid: so what Blago just makes shit up

Gregory: well don't we all

Gregory: Prince says you're a racist

Reid: purple states rain!

bobby rush: just appoint the black man!

Gregory: will send the police to block Burris

Reid: i will do whatever mitch mcconnell wants to do

Gregory: sounds good

Gregory: what is the most important goal for the government

Reid: to be bipartisan

Gregory: what if that stops getting something done

Reid: too bad

Gregory: what else

Reid: my batteries need to be replaced and the Vegas housing bubble needs to be reinflated

Gregory: sounds good

Reid: also America is now so rich all cancer treatment has been halted and patients have been a big foam finger USA # 1

Gregory: solution?

Reid: stop all foreclosures - no wait no

Gregory: do you have any ideas at all

Reid: we have a dem president and dem senate and dem house so i need to check with Mitch McConnell

Gregory: payroll tax cut?

Reid: umm hmm i dunno

Gregory: my 401k sucks so please solve it desert boy

Reid: i plan to write a strongly-worded letter to the SEC

Gregory: really

Reid: well not too strongly-worded

Gregory: you say the 2008 election proved Americans are centrists

Reid: i plan on working with John McCain

Gregory: but he lost!

Reid: but he's mah fwend

Gregory: you were wrong about Iraq!

Reid: true but I was right when said the war was lost it was lost

Gregory: but teh Surge!

Reid: pheh

Gregory: but the war cannot be lost - we're Americans!

Reid: mwew

Gregory: don't you regret being mean to poor widdle George Bus?

Reid: heh heh heh i regret that we let that incompetent dick run this counrty in the ground for 8 years

Gregory: meanie

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