April 29, 2012
Guests:
Ed Gillespie
Robert Gibbs
Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA)
Rachel Maddow
Hilary Rosen
John Castellanos
Brian Williams
Jason Sudekis
Fred Armisen
*********************************
Gregory: Joe Biden says Mitt Romney
would not have killed Osama bin Laden
Gillespie: to politicize government
decisions is so shameful
Gregory: Bush put the of the
World Trade Center in his ads
Gillespie: yes but the destruction of
those building was Bush’s finest moment
Gregory: Dick Cheney says John Kerry
would weaken America
Gillespie: yes but that doesn’t count
since that was eight years ago
Gregory: is America safer because
of President Obama?
Gillespie: no because Obama has
been fighting with Israel
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: also Obama has weakened
America and under Romney our
nation will be stronger
Gregory: why is Mitt obsessed
with the Soviet Union?
Gillespie: Russia is bad and scary!
Gregory: Romney says Obama is taking
our freedom by returning to the
tax rates of the 1990s
Gillespie: President Obama is a Marxist
who raised prices for electricity
Gregory: good god
Gillespie: President Obama caused
the recession 2007
Gregory: cripes
Gillespie: also he caused another
recession in 2010
Gillespie: Bush cut taxes for the rich and
we had a terrible recession
Gillespie: that never happened -
the Bush economy was totally awesome
Gregory: how much damage did the
primary fights do to Mitt?
Gillespie: Romney was strengthened by
taking on tough opponents like
Herman Cain and Rick Santorum
Gregory: is Mitt a severe conservative
or to the left of Ted Kennedy?
Gillespie: he just hates Obama
Gregory: anything else?
Gillespie: electricity! Eee-lectriii-cityyyy!
Gregory: ok
Gillespie: if people vote for Mitt Romney
our long national nightmare of
adding jobs and killing terrorists will be over
Gregory: should women have
personal freedom or not?
Gillespie: since Obama was sworn in
women have lost jobs
Gregory: that’s not an answer
Gillespie: things were really bad in 2009
- whose fault is that?!?
Gregory: um the guy who took office in 2009?
Gillespie: exactly!
Gregory: thanks for coming Ed
[ break ]
Gregory: Bob you guys are politicizing
the killing of Osama bin Laden
Gibbs: in 2008 Obama said he would go
into Pakistan and McCain and Romney
said he wouldn’t
Gregory: did he?
Gibbs: he said it would be foolish
Gregory: does Obama really believe
Romney wouldn’t go into Pakistan
to kill bin Laden?
Gibbs: he said he wouldn’t!
Gregory: but bin laden is a bad guy
Gibbs: well then maybe Mitt is
flip-flopping on that too
Gregory: ha ha
Gibbs: also Romney would have
killed General Motors
Gregory: your campaign is indecorous
Gibbs: get used to it Fluffy
Gregory: how do you fix the recovery?
Gibbs: Bush lost 6 million jobs
Gregory: if you go by the numbers maybe
Gibbs: Romney doesn’t create jobs
- he loots companies
Gregory: they’re lootable
Gibbs: Obama has added 4 million jobs
Gregory: only four million?
Gibbs: we need a vibrant economy built to last!
Gregory: Mitt Romney says women will vote
for the GOP because gas prices are high
Gibbs: the GOP message is ‘why didn’t you
clean up the mess we made fast enough!’
Gregory: what about gyno-Americans?
Gibbs: they don’t trust women to
make their own decision!
Gregory: why should anyone vote for Obama
when Jimmy Kimmel made a joke about him?
Gibbs: we inherited the worst crisis in
50 years and now we are finally
recovering from it
Gregory: I see
Gibbs: should we elect a guy who buys
companies and fires everyone?
Gregory: maybe
Gregory: no Fluffy!
Gibbs: thanks for coming Gibber
Gregory: Hillary Rosen you said Ann Romney
worked a day in her life and those
remarks destroyed America
Rosen: how about talking about policies?
Gregory: do you think America can ever
recover from what you said?
Rosen: I do think so Fluffy
Gregory: do you hate motherhood?
Rosen: Romney wants poor working mothers
to pay more taxes while he gives his
rich friends a tax cut
Rogers: women don’t care about their bodies
- they care about the national debt
Gregory: what do women want?
Maddow: women makes 77 cents for
every dollar than women make
Castellanos: that isn’t true
Maddow: no?
Castellanos: well maybe they are
but there are reasons for it
Maddow: so it is true
Castellanos: yes but men are
valuable scientists so the should make more
Maddow: let’s talk policy - like the Fair Pay Act
Castellanos: I wish you were smart
Rachel because you are adorable
Maddow: you are a condescending jerk
Castellanos: who cares about abortion
or fair pay - the real problem is that
Obama caused the recession
Rosen: abortion fights are real!
Rogers: who cares! Gas prices are high!
Maddow: why are the GOP cracking
down on rape victims rights?
Rogers: Democrats are the ones who
are obsessed with abortion!
Castellanos: who cares about the law in Iowa??
Maddow: people in Iowa you idiot
Castellanos: What is this place called Iowa?
Is that even a state? Is that a city in
Game of Thrones?
Rosen: Mitt Romney endorsed the Paul Ryan
plan and that would cut day care which
would actually hurt women
Rogers: Paul Ryan? Iowa?? What are these
people and places you are talking about??
I’ve never heard of them!
Gregory: tell me about how you killed bin Laden
Williams: the White House photographer
helped us re-construct the moment when
bin Laden bought it
Gregory: is getting Osama political?
Williams: sure but it’s totally awesome
Gregory: that's cool B-Dub
Williams: hey if the mission had failed
don’t you think that would be political too?
Gregory: oh noe
Gregory: why is politics comedy fodder?
Sudekis: because we all look at these guys
and say oh man we’re doomed
Gregory: what’s it like playing Mitt Romney
Sudekis: he is boring like an uncrusted
butter sandwich
Gregory: You are dorky white guy playing
Barack Obama
Armisen: hey oh!
Gregory: you guys are so so funny
Armisen: ho!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet the Press
**********************************
Sunday, April 29, 2012
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