Sunday, May 06, 2012

This Week - May 6, 2012

David Axelrod
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
George Will
Tavis Smiley
Greta Van Susteren
Bay Buchanan

Tapper: OMG Obama is still running
on hope and change

Audience: ooh

Tapper: Axel the economy kind of sucks

Axelrod: yeah but when we got into office
we were losing millions of jobs and now
we’re slowing adding thousands of jobs

Tapper: not bad but not great

Axelrod: we can’t go back or it will
be another disaster

Tapper: Obama asks will you be better off
four years from now

Axelrod: right - if we elect Romney will have
the same policies that destroyed the economy
in the first place

Tapper: no one is turning out for your rallies

Axelrod: we had 14,000 people yesterday!

Tapper: yes but that stadium is
very big ergo Obama sucks

Axelrod: that was 11,000 more than
Mitt Romney ever got

Tapper: yes but with Mittens its
quality not quantity

Axelrod: how do you mean?

Tapper: Mitt went had a rally at the mansion
of the CEO of Papa Johns - the dozen people
there have more money than at
14,000 students at Ohio State

Tapper: when will Obama start touting his
record instead of just talking about
killing bin Laden and saving General Motors

Axelrod: that is his record Tappy!

Tapper: is Obama spitting on troops
by killing bin Laden?

Axelrod: Obama made a gutsy call - and
if it failed you can bet Mitt Romney would
be all it like white rice on brown rice

Tapper: Mitt Romney says it’s shameful to
bring a Chinese dissident to America in a
responsible way instead of spitting in their face

Axelrod: sounds like he’ll make a great President

Tapper: Senator isn’t Mitt Romney
increasingly sounding like an idiot

McCain: yes he is but China is still
communist which is Obama’s fault

Tapper: in 2008 you said Romney was naïve
for saying it wasn’t worth it going after
one guy who attacked America on 9/11

McCain: Obama killed Neda!

Tapper: jesus

McCain: Iraq is unraveling!

Tapper: uh-oh

McCain: the Russians are supplying
guns to Syria - we must take sides!

Tapper: calm down John you’re getting all puffy

McCain: women are being raped while
Obama goes to the Holocaust Museum!
I’m not making this up!

Tapper: I’ve heard some rebels in
Syria are allied to al-qeada

McCain: so what?

Tapper: well you know al-qeada
is pretty bad

McCain: yes but helping al-qaeda would
hurt America’s greatest enemy which is Iran

Tapper: are you saying we should
form an alliance with al-qaeda?!?

McCain: If it hurts Iran yes!

Tapper: who should Mitt should pick
as his Vice President?

McCain: someone who is most ready
to become President immediately - like I did

Tapper: [ snort ]

McCain: I was told there would be pudding!

Tapper: thanks for coming gramps

[ break ]

Tapper: did Obama got to far in
pointing out he got bin Laden

Will: Obama keeps talking about himself
and people are so turned off he
can’t fill an 18,000 seat stadium

Buchanan: sure he deserves credit but
he never credits the Navy Seals

Tapper: that’s not true at all

Buchanan: maybe not but
it sounds good

Smiley: I hate the President because
he shouldn’t kill terrorists

Tapper: go on Tavis

Smiley: it’s unpresidential to wage war

Tapper: which country are you talking about

Goolsbee: Romney said he wouldn’t
take bin Laden out if he was in he
Pakistan so of course it’s a legitimate issue

Van Susteren: people are being killed
in Sudan and Syria and Mexico!

Tapper: oh my god send in the Marines!

Will: the Chinese eat at McDonald’s
and Starbucks but they are still evil

Tapper: our larded fries and $30 lattes
will destroy the oriental enemy!


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