Sunday, May 20, 2012

Meet The Press - May 20, 2012

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Mayor Cory Booker (D-Newark)
Jim Cramer
Kimberly Strassel
Mike Murphy

Gregory: wow look at these crazy
violent NATO protestors!

Audience: ooh white people

Gregory: the question for today is how
do we get the economy growing
besides slashing spending?

Audience: ye gods

Gregory: Paul - did austerity in Europe fail?

Ryan: no they just didn’t
have enough austerity!

Gregory: I see

Ryan: we are going to pre-empt austerity
by putting it in place before we have to

Gregory: Do you liberals just want more debt?

Durbin: no the answer is cut spending
but preserving programs which spend money

Gregory: I see

Durbin: Paul Ryan wants to give
rich people $150,000

Gregory: can we cut spending and
have economic growth?

Durbin: yes - we just can’t cut
any popular programs

Ryan: my plan increases spending -
we just slow it down!

Gregory: wow!

Ryan: if we slash the debt now we
can finally bring interest rates down!

Gregory: I hear even Republicans hate your plan

Ryan: that’s only when people found what is in it

Gregory: that sounds like a problem

Ryan: look I just want to cut taxes
for rich people and slash Medicaid

Gregory: the reality is that politicians
can’t agree on the spending cuts I want

Durbin: that is so fucking sad

Gregory: Boehner says wants
to risk default again

Durbin: I was stunned - he almost killed
the U.S. economy last year

Gregory: ha

Durbin: I voted for Simpson-Bowles
and to put everything on the table
and the GOP said no

Gregory: how politically skillful you are

Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t it true that
Joe Biden is a horrible person

Ryan: yes

Gregory: I’m glad you admitted it

Ryan: Bowles-Simpson is a failure because
it won’t cut health care for old people

Gregory: that’s a shame

Ryan: this election is all about which
vision for slashing the debt is best

Gregory: so will you compromise?

Ryan: that’s all I’ve been doing!

Gregory: how so?

Ryan: We must slash spending before
we are forced to slash spending!

Gregory: are you wiling to raise taxes?

Ryan: yes! by cutting taxes!

Gregory: if you lose the election
will you change your mind?

Ryan: we have a massive debt crisis!

Gregory: Dick what if Governor Romney
wins the election - will you finally cut
taxes for rich people like me?

Durbin: I have a plan with to implement
Simpson-Bowles with Tom Coburn
and he’s a fucking lunatic

Gregory: Obama leads in every poll
but the one I’m putting up now

Durbin: Obama saved the economy Fluffy

Ryan: We can avoid austerity if
we just slash spending!

Gregory: are you going to be
the Vice President?

Ryan: why not me?

Gregory: coming next - if the election
were held today, how confusing would that be?

[ break ]

Gregory: the election won’t solve the debt or cut taxes

Murphy: I know it’s so sad

Strassel: not if Republicans take over everything

Gregory: we can only hope

Cramer: no one like tax loopholes

Gregory: why didn’t Obama cut rich
people’s taxes - he could have gotten
bipartisan agreement on that!

Booker: I like you Fluffy but with
all respect you are an idiot

Greg: let’s look at Romney’s recent
piece of propaganda

[ plays ad ]

Gregory: wow that was a really powerful ad

Cramer: yes but he’s going to get killed on Bain

Strassel: he’s tearing down Obama
and it’s not enough

Gregory: I want to get back to how
wonderful Romney is

Murphy: this election is a race to
define Mitt Romney

Gregory: oh noe

Gregory: Obama says Romney is a
200 year old vampire

Booker: I love Bain Capital

Gregory: everyone I talk to says
private equity is totally awesome

Booker: Obama cuts taxes and
cut spending!

Gregory: great!

Booker: Obamacare rocks!

Gregory: go Cory go

Booker: attacking Bain Capital
is nauseating!

Strassel: Bain is a savior of businesses!

Gregory: how can we persuade people
to vote for Mitt Romney?

Murphy: criticizing Romney on Bain
is the single worst ad in American history

Cramer: firing people is chic

Gregory: le freak c’est chic

Booker: I fired people too and it
was surprisingly fun

Gregory: sweet

Booker: Obama is right on the big issues!

Cramer: Obama saved the auto industry
- let him talk about that!

Murphy: Romney would have also
saved the auto industry

Cramer: bullshit!

Booker: trickle-down economics doesn’t work

Strassel: Obama thinks all private business is bad

Gregory: hee hee

Gregory: a GOP Super Pac wants to
go after Rev. Wright

Murphy: that story was totally unfair to racists

Gregory: this is just like going after
Romney for his Mormon faith which
is not actually happening

Strassel: Obama is smearing Romney
donors so he is the bad guy here

Murphy: it  was racist unfair smearing
to say Romney has no political core
just because he has no convictions

Gregory: will Chris Christie be Vice President?

Booker: Would I like him to leave
New Jersey - absolutely!

Gregory:  what about Europe?

Cramer: German austerity will lead to
a damn global recession

Gregory: Facebook is a terrible failure
because it’s only worth $100 billion

Cramer: Sell! Sell! Sell!

Booker: scribbling
[ ‘note to self: buy facebook’ ]

Rubio: Obama is terribly divisive!

Gregory: Obama didn’t make Republicans
act normal like he promised he would

Booker: that is the stupidest thing
you’ve ever said Fluffy

Gregory: I disagree -  I’ve said
much stupider things

Murphy: they said Romney has no core
which is racist demagoguery

Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press


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