Sunday, May 27, 2012
Meet The Press - May 27, 2012
Gov. Martin O'Malley (D-MD)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Gregory: Newt do you support Mitt Romney
Gingrich: eh - I guess I mean he is white
Gregory: what did you learn about
Mitt when you lost to him
Gingrich: he’s a completely vicious amoral liar
Gregory: so you gained a lot of respect for him
Gregory: Is Obama anti-business?
O’Malley: no he isn’t Fluffy
Gregory: are you sure?
O’Malley: Romney destroyed jobs as
a businessman and then wrecked Massachusetts
Gingrich: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: oooh zinger
Gregory: didn’t you also attack Bain?
Gingrich: I never went after private equity
- I just attacked it
Gregory: can you defend private equity then?
Gingrich: Unemployment was low in
Massachusetts many years ago!
O’Malley: Obama inherited a recession
and added million of jobs and now
unemployment is at a three-year low
Gregory: those are just numbers
O'Malley: Romney would bring back Bush policies
which caused the recession in the first place!
Gregory: but you once shook hands
with someone from private equity
O'Malley: yes but I showered afterwards
Gingrich: Obama caused a depression in 2008!
O'Malley: that’s stupid you racist grifter
Gingrich: Obama has raised the debt!
O'Malley: Romney drove up the debt
in Massachusetts and added
Gingrich: Obama raised the price of gas
O'Malley: the price of gas is going down
you ignorant trogdolyte
Gregory: how can we elect Mitt Romney
Gingrich: Frankly Bain Capital should
be nominated for sainthood
O'Malley: ‘Bush Recession’ - ring a bell?
Gingrich: Republicans never talk
about Jimmy Carter
Gregory: ha that’s a good one newticles
Gingrich: Newt you’re a sociopath and
even you said Mitt was heartless to immigrants
Gingrich: Mexicans love cars and will
vote for Romney to get lower gas prices
Gregory: let’s bash Obama some more
O'Malley: we need to spend more
on bridges and schools
Gregory: so Obama will spend more
if he’s reelected?
O'Malley: no - he’s just not going
to be Mitt Romney!
Gingrich: we could help poor illegal
immigrant children by giving them
lucrative jobs as janitors
Gregory: what advice would you have
to anyone running for President?
Gingrich: raise a lot of money and try
not to be a racist dickhead in public
Gregory: are you greatly disappointed
in the American people for not seeing
your awesomeness and electing you
Gingrich: no because I would not want to
be President of such a thoroughly useless
group of people as Americans
Gregory: you would you like to be
the Vice President candidate
Gingrich: such an office is beneath me
as it does not pay at least $1 million
Gregory: Marty will you run for
President in 2016?
O'Malley: Did you know Scott Walker
has a criminal defense fund
Besty: shut him up! shut him up!
Gregory: let’s take a break
Gregory: we know it’s election season
because famous people are voluntarily
going to Cleveland and Cincinnati
Audience: nobody puts Akron in a corner
Gregory: the most important issues in
America are the evil Hilary Rosen and
how wonderful Bain Capital is
Brooks: people used to like Obama but
now they will hate him because he
attacked Bain Capital
Dionne: the debate about Bain Capital is
worth having because we need to discuss
what kind of capitalism we want
Gregory: oh I don't think so
Fiorina: Bain invested in small start-ups
and created many jobs!
Gregory: well I’m sold
Fiorina: Obama is an untested amateur!
Gregory: that’s true in a way
Fiorina: Obama will fail because the
American people love Bain
Brooks: exactly - criticizing financiers
is a losing argument!
Villaraigosa: you guys crack me up
Gregory: why Antonio?
Villaraigosa: Romney put Bain Capital
front-and-center and it will ruin him
Gregory: sadly Obama is apparently
leading in every fucking category of voter
Brooks: not in Europe
Gregory: well that’s something
Brooks: Obama is popular but he will
lose this election because he just so mean
Fiorina: Frankly Obama is disappointingly not nice
Dionne: good god what a load of tripe
Gregory: can we tip this election to Romney
if we put Marco Rubio on the ticket?
Villaraigosa: Romney wants 11 million
Brooks: that’s probably not going to help
Gregory: the heroic Scott Walker
may be recalled
Brooks: it is true Scott Walker is evil but
he has some great ideas
Gregory: speaking of obnoxious blowhards
- Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney
Dionne: indeed Romney is very wise
to hitch his wagon to the Trump star
Colin Powell: Mitt Romney’s foreign policy
makes normal Republicans ask themselves
- what the fuck?
Fiorina: what Mitt meant is that Vladimir
Putin is an untrustworthy bastard
Gregory: Maria give me some life advice
because I feel like something has
gone very wrong with me
Shriver: Fluffy you need to pause and ask
- why do I hate myself
Lewis: here’s the thing about commencement
speeches - kids don’t fucking care what some
old sell-out has to say
Gregory: but I did one a few weeks ago
Lewis: oh well then I stand corrected
Shriver: as a nation we’re all graduating
into a world where our failed governor husbands
admit they had a child with the nanny and
went on to make terrible movies
Gregory: should people do what they
love or should they become corporate whores?
Lewis: I quit Wall Street and went on
to write books and I’m really glad I did
Gregory: dear god how awful
Gregory: Maria your father said people
should break their mirrors and stop
being so self-obsessed - was he crazy
Shriver: he was railing against our
societal narcissism Fluffy
Gregory: [ fluffs hair ]
Lewis: I just hope I get something
good out of this - maybe a Princeton
admission for my kids
Shriver: ha - that’s not going to happen
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
Posted by - at 12:54 PM