Sunday, May 16, 2010

This Week with Jake Tapper - May 16, 2010

Host:
Jake Tapper
Guests:
Sen. Pat Leahy (D-VT)
Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL)
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Tapper: what about Elena Kagan?

Leahy: I want a rapid confirmation but I need
Jeff Sessions’ permission

Tapper: Kagan said the Senate is vapid and hollow

Leahy: we all know that

Tapper: why are confirmation hearings so ridiculous?

Leahy: people with opinions must recuse themselves from all other cases

Tapper: why?

Leahy: because thinking about anything means
you are unfairly biased

Tapper: I see

Leahy: she needs to appear to be an unthinking dolt to impress the Senate

Sessions: She needs to be like john Roberts and openly lie to the Senate about her intentions

Tapper: Do you think she hates the military?

Sessions: this is major issue - if the military can’t use the office of career services how can Harvard Law Students possibly find their way to a recruiting office??

Leahy: I realize the GOP are insane but give
me a break

Sessions: No no no - you know how stupid those ivy leaguers are - we might have won the Iraq war if we had more Harvard Law Students on the front lines

Tapper: She wrote a friend of the court brief on a case that went the other way - doesn’t that prove
she can’t be on the Supreme Court

Leahy: is being a dumbass disqualifying from hosting a Sunday Talk show?

Tapper: no

Leahy: well there you go

Tapper: does she love female persons or male persons?

Sessions: I don’t care - I love corporate persons

Tapper: Should we repeal those pesky
Miranda rights?

Leahy: yes but we have to do so within
the Constitution

Tapper: well that’s fucking annoying

Sessions: yee haw

Tapper: Should we protect oil companies from paying for their mistakes?

Sessions: let’s not be too hard on BP - I mean they are very nice people who have suffered greatly during this terrible time of the environmental
disaster they caused

Leahy: Jesus Christ Republicans filibustered an attempt to hold BP accountable

Sessions: did we?

Leahy: yes you did fucker

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