Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ)
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Rep. Joe Sestak (D-PA)
May 23, 2010
Gregory: Hi and welcome to another episode of
Meet the Press - our special guest today was going to be Rand Paul but is very sleepy from pretending he is not a racist and needs a nap so he graciously sent his pet PaulCat - thanks so much for coming
PaulCat: oh hai - u iz welcome
Gregory: People think that Rand Paul is a racist
PaulCat: noes fluffi he no cares if deh kittehs iz striped or calico or if dey iz all whites or blacks
- but he no lak deh maine coon
Gregory: PaulCat does Rand Paul really want to repeal the Civil Rights Act?
PaulCat: he no wants govmint takin yur bukkits
and yur toys and yur homez and yur odder
Gregory: so laws prohibiting racial discrimination
are the same as declaring a hotel or restaurant
to be public property?
PaulCat: if teh governmints be doin dat dey also
kan mak u brings guns to teh movie theter
Gregory: so what’s the solution?
PaulCat: teh frei markets will mak all teh
kittehs plai nice
Gregory: is making abortion illegal also a declaring
a woman’s body public property?
PaulCat: oh hai noes cause teh bebbeh kittehs
haz rite to lif
Gregory: Rand Paul said Obama is un-American for attacking BP
PaulCat: teh presnit no lak the biznuz kittehs --
he plai bame game he shuld plai wit kitteh toys
Gregory: why on earth would Rand Paul defend BP at a time like this?
PaulCat: sometimes teh kittehs use deh litter box
and sometimes kittehs no use litter box - u noes accidentz dey happen
Gregory: it’s no ones fault so Obama shouldn’t be critical of BP?
PaulCat: BP iz like the kittehs - dey mak de mess
and teh humanz clean it up
Gregory: Good luck in November
PaulCat: u haz fishies or scritches for me?
Gregory: No sorry
PaulCat: u noes get cuddlez Fluffi
[ break ]
Gregory: Rand Paul canceled his appearance here just because he said a lot of racist stupid shit - then just to put icing on the cake he defended BP for spilling millions of gallons of oil in the Gulf
Cornyn: give him a break he’s a novice candidate - he can’t take random questions about whether 40 year old anti-racist laws were a good idea
Gregory: Is he totally insane?
Cornyn: he needs run away from the media and to speak to the people of Kentucky so they can hear what he has to say
Gregory: don’t they watch Meet the Press in Kentucky?
Cornyn: are you kidding? - they don’t own tv sets - they just got the wireless
Gregory: so you nominated an incompetent weirdo who can’t take basic questions without sounding like a stone cold racist
Cornyn: true - but government has gotten too big
Menendez: he’s out of his fucking mind - he’s perfect for the modern Republican party
Gregory: isn’t Rand Paul right - that Democrats brought us debt, chaos and a breakdown in society?
Menendez: no Fluffy the Republican party brought us debts, wars, big government and a Depression
Cornyn: there they go again - blaming George Bush for all the mistakes George Bush made
Gregory: is that all?
Cornyn: Spend! Debt!
Gregory: the Tea Party brings new voters but on the other hand they are fucking crazy
Cornyn: I love the Tea Party! These are wonderful patriotic Americans who finally got off their couches to carry guns and want to repeal civil rights
Gregory: well that’s a little frightening
Cornyn: Obama hates businesses
Gregory: Admiral you claim to be an outsider but you voted for health care reform
Sestak: I was in the Navy for 31 years Dancin Dave and America was torpedoed
Gregory: but you voted for TARP!
Sestak: yes but I stood up to Obama when he attacked businesses
Gregory: like what?
Sestak: I want to cut taxes for small business not for Goldman Sachs
Gregory: but how can you support the Obama Communist Agenda?
Sestak: fuck Obama - he tried to get me
out of the race!
Gregory: you stood up to him to run for office - so what?
Sestak: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: Are you now or have you ever been an
Sestak: fuck you
Gregory: what bribe did Obama offer you?
Sestak: he offered to make me Secretary of
Kicking Pundit Ass
Gregory: oh my
Gregory: [grinning ] what painful choices will you make?!?!
Sestak: better health care, collect taxes and cut military spending
Gregory: Obama backed the wrong horse in Pennsylvania!
Menendez: true but it all worked out in the end - Sestak is awesome
Gregory: Is Obama a liability?
Menendez: hell fuckin no -- he’s turning this nation around from the disaster of the Bush presidency
Cornyn: I hate big big government - we’re going to repeal health care reform!
Gregory: Blumenthal claimed he fought with Rambo
Menendez: yes but his opponent let wrestlers use their bodies
Cornyn: you can’t trust him - he shot himself in the foot to get out of service!
Gregory: I thought that was Dick Cheney
Cornyn: either way
Gregory: immigration reform!
Menendez: Let the Senators from Arizona deal with the 12 million illegal immigrants
Cornyn: the Arizona law is a great law - it bans profiling based on race and now only allows it
for skin color
Gregory: Bush never passed immigration reform or secured the border
Cornyn: sure but that was before - as soon as Obama became President Arizona has to
enact a racist law
[ break ]
Gregory: hey panelists the GOP nominated a racist whackjob for the U.S. Senate
Friedman: we learned this week that when the Tea Party said they want smaller government they really mean racism is awesome
Gigot: I admire Rand Paul for being willing to cut Medicare and Social Security
Mitchell: he’s a libertarian - what the fuck is he doing running for the Senate anyway
Woodward: he’s like Ronald Reagan but
ugly and stupid
Mitchell: yes but Ronnie was a pragmatic racist-panderer
Giogot: Obama has governed so far to left is that he’s driven the GOP to the crazy right
Gregory: that sounds pretty smart
Giogot: the Tea Party think Obama is a socialist!
Gregory: but TARP was a Republican idea
Gigot: sure but Obama abused TARP by going beyond the original intention of bailing out Wall Street and helping American auto companies
- that is so so sad
Gregory: it seems like crazy people everywhere are
taking over politics
Friedman: Digital lynch mobs!!!
Gregory: that’s scary!
Friedman: we need a dictator
Gigot: we tried that under George Bush
Woodward: people say nothing ever gets done but Obama did stimulus, health care reform and may get financial reform - not to shabby!
Gregory: wow James Carville got attention by bashing Obama!
Friedman: I think they should stop the oil spill
Friedman: I think we should use less oil - why are no Senators saying this?!?
Gregory: Gore did and the media relentlessly attacked him
Woodward: why don’t they call Google to
fix the oil spill?
Gigot: what the fuck do you expect them to do?
Mitchell: BP has ruined offshore drilling for all of us
Friedman: who cares - the long term solution is to utter banal cliches
Gigot: it’s a very hard engineering problem
Gregory: what the hell should Team Obama do?
Woodward: I had no idea oil came right out of the ground - I thought it came from whales
Gigot: accidents happen - aren’t we all
really to blame?
Woodward: the blob will kill us all!!!
Mitchell: you men are all fucking idiots
Gregory: I want to thank all my guests especially PaulCat