This Week With George Stephanopoulos
October 4, 2009
Sen. Schumer (D-NY)
Sen. Cornyn (R-Texas)
Stephanopoulos: wow we’ve lost 7 million jobs - now let’s talk to the man who made it all happen
Greenspan: my deep learning tells me that this
Greenspan: the reason that is bad is that the economy suffers
Stephanopoulos: people too
Greenspan: what makes people great are a great economy with many capital assets
Stephanopoulos: what’s the solution?
Greenspan: there’s a silver lining - businesses thought the economy would be so bad that they
fired all their employees prematurely
Stephanopoulos: Premature capitulation
Stephanopoulos: what should Obama do?
Greenspan: fix the economy
Stephanopoulos: what else?
Greenspan: cut taxes
Stephanopoulos: what about another stimulus?
Greenspan: no because it’s already working and
it has failed
Stephanopoulos: do you have a newsletter?
Greenspan: this is what a recovery looks like
Stephanopoulos: increasing unemployment?
Stephanopoulos: should we help suffering unemployed people?
Greenspan: yes but only to prevent people from storming Wall Street with pitchforks and torches
Stephanopoulos: should we reform health care?
Greenspan: no because we’re borrowing too much money
Stephanopoulos: oh well that’s too bad
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: talk economy to me Chuckles
Schumer: we’re going to extend unemployment benefits
Cornyn: damm right lots and lots of people in Texas are unemployed!
Stephanopoulos: do we need another stimulus?
Cornyn: unemployed Americans are really really scared that Washington is just going to throw money at the problem
Schumer: you could reform health care
Cornyn: we should send every American a COBRA
Schumer: good idea but it’s a very expensive program
Cornyn: no an actual cobra - snake handling is
an accepted practice in Texas
Stephanopoulos: Senator Crapo had a crappy idea
Cornyn: the whole point should be to lower costs - and keep Wellness Accounts like at Whole Foods
Stephanopoulos: What the hell are you talking about?
Schumer: Do Republicans understand employers can take away your coverage now?
Stephanopoulos: All Hail President Snowe!
Cornyn: the government will take over Medicare, increase prices, kill the elderly, and promote cannibalism
Schumer: Orrin Hatch wants to exempt people with magic underwear - how is that a plan?
Cornyn: Jim Bunning found out that the bill misplaced $11 billion by exempting Bill Gates
Schumer: Oh yes the noted reasoned intellectual Jim Bunning
Stephanopoulos: so Chucky can you pass a bill
Schumer: we’re going to pass a public option and we need it dammit
Cornyn: how many times do we have to say it - a public option would be too popular and so many people would enroll in it that they would lose their private insurance and be stuck with the public plan which they would hate
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming idiots