Sunday, October 11, 2009

Meet the Press - October 11, 2009

October 11, 2009
Guests:
Sen. Levin
Sen. Graham
Ret. Gen. Myers
Ret. Gen. McCaffrey
************************
Gregory: Carl shouldn’t we all just do what
President McChrystal wants?

Levin: no because Obama is the President and Gates is the Secretary of Defense and the global strategy is more important the counterinsurgency
in any one country

Gregory: should we send more troops?

Levin: we should send them more equipment like guns and mimeograph machines

Graham: What do you think Lindy?

Graham: I love the General and we should send
40,000 more troops

Gregory: but there are only 100 al qaeda in all
of Afghanistan

Myers: it’s simple - we have to combat all violent extremism and religious fanaticism all over the world

Gregory: Christ you’re going to have take on half
the Republican party

Myers: also we have to invade Uzbekistan

Gregory: yikes

McCaffrey: we have to withdraw from Afghanistan and the best way to do that is a massive buildup
of troops

Myers: we could persuade the rest of the world
to take over

Gregory: Awesome idea

Levin: Hell let the Afghans take over

Graham: we could send one million troops and
it will still fail with a bad local government

Gregory: so why the fuck do you want to send 40,000 more troops?

Graham: so we can reopen Afghan soccer stadiums

Gregory: Is Obama weak?

Graham: if he only puts us halfway in - that will
be weak

Gregory: Like George Bush did?

Graham: the Iranians are watching us for signs of weakness - they are terrified we won’t get into a quagmire there

Gregory: General what went wrong in Afghanistan?

Myers: we emphasized military action and not
social and economic development

Gregory: so in other words too much Republican policies?

Myers: we took our eye off the ball and let the Taliban take over

Gregory: it sounds like you totally fucked up

Myers: well we didn’t think so at the time
- we thought we were gods among men
creating our own reality

Gregory: what made you think that?

Myers: Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face and
got him to apologize

McCaffrey: Let’s face it - Bush handed Obama one completely fucked-up situation

Levin: we have to win over the Afghan people by not murdering so many of their children

Gregory: interesting

Graham: somehow we all got focused on Iraq

Gregory: Cause Bush was obsessed with it!

Graham: Unfortunately it turns out Bush is kind
of dumb and at least Obama is a smart guy

Gregory: we’ve been there for eight fucking years

Graham: it’s a multi-generational struggle

Gregory: that’s disturbing

Graham: in the next three years we may have a trustworthy Afghan government

Myers: also we have to fix the Afghan economy

Gregory: we can’t even fix the Detroit economy!

McCaffrey: I think in 10 years we can create sparkling Afghan universities

Gregory: should we end ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’?

Levin: of course we should

Myers: what’s wrong with suppressing your sexuality - I like to wear a pink thong in combat
but you don’t hear me talking about it

Graham: you don’t make policy based on promises made in a campaign

Gregory: did Obama deserve the Nobel prize?

Graham: if Obama kills enough people I will visit him in the Lincoln bedroom one night and show him
how grateful I am

Gregory: ok I think we’ve gone into a weird area

[ break]

Gregory: Should Obama invade Afghanistan?

Woodward: Obama is on a listening tour and then he has to decide what the fuck we are doing in that remote desert nation

Gregory: but at least he’s thinking about it

Woodward: right - Bush never listened - just played with his gameboy while Cheney used the Force
to choke his underlings

Gregory: Let me quote Charles Krauthammer

Gigot: Chuck is right - Obama could do the right thing or listen to the hippies who think they’re so smart just because they are right about everything

Brownstein: yeah but we were going to crush al qaeda and we’ve done it

Gregory: what the hell are we doing there?

Kay: so what if the Taliban took over some of the remote mountainous regions of that county - does that mean they would invade Pakistan??

Gregory: where were all these nation-building Republicans in the last 8 years??

Woodward: now that Obama is President they can admit everything there is completely fucked-up

Brownstein: most Americans think Afghanistan is a necessary war they just don’t care and want us
to leave

Gregory: Let me quote Ruth Marcus saying Obama getting a Nobel is ridiculous

Gigot: the Republicans will ride this to victory
in 2010!!

Woodward: let’s face it - this was an unfair reward based on their hatred for George Bush

Gregory: Let me quote Peggy Noonan

Kay: I heard you were a hack and a moron

Brownstein: the Nobel committee doesn’t know
how to give out their own awards!

Gregory: right - they should have ceremonies where they dance with Karl Rove!

Brownstein: Obama needs to be sensitive to criticism that he is too popular

Kay: you’re all idiots

Woodward: Obama should take his shiny new
Nobel prize and use it to force Germany to take over Afghanistan

Gigot: I disagree Americans have to kick everyone out and take over this crazy-ass central Asian county

Gregory: what about the American economy?

Brownstein: we’re all in a bad national mood

Woodward: any breach between Obama and the military will prevent second stimulus

Gregory: makes sense

Gigot: failure of the health care bill is hurting business and preventing job creation

Gregory: so no jobs until health care is passed?

Gigot: right - so the GOP should filibuster it

Gregory: so this is all good news for the Republicans

Kay: if the economy recovers by the summer
of 2010 the Democrats may do very well

Gregory: oh no!
[ starts sobbing ]

Kay: Calm down Fluffy
*********************

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

who is Kay, at the end, you know the semi-sane one?

Anonymous said...

Katty Kay of the BBC, I'd bet.

Anonymous said...

i don't know if it's sad or frightening that this blog is actually a useful and accurate shorthand for the actual show.

yanmaneee said...

balenciaga sneakers
cheap jordans
russell westbrook shoes
kd shoes
converse shoes
fitflop
nike sneakers
adidas tubular shadow
nmd
supreme hoodie

yanmaneee said...

nike react
lebron 15 shoes
supreme outlet
lebron 17
supreme
supreme clothing
yeezy
kyrie 7
supreme new york
golden goose outlet