Sunday, October 18, 2009

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - October 18, 2009

October 18, 2009
White House Advisor David Axelrod
Stephanopoulos: Axel Is it time for Obama to get tough and stick a sharpened screwdriver into John Boehner?

Axelrod: Obama is plenty tough but he’s also thoughtful

Stephanopoulos: When is he going to twist some arms and make Max Baucus cry?

Axelrod: we’ve already accomplished more than you ever did Stephy

Stephanopoulos: Is it true Obama might take away the insurance anti-trust exemption??

Axelrod: ha ha - now what were you just saying about getting tough?

Stephanopoulos: so will you take it away?

Axelrod: We’ll see what Congress does

Stephanopoulos: so will Obama sign it?

Axelrod: Let’s just this conversation didn’t just happen

Stephanopoulos: Are you paying too much attention to President Snowe?

Axelrod: I know people say that but she is our Magic Conservative

Stephanopoulos: who wins this contest - the majority of Americans or Olympia?

Axelrod: we’ll split the difference and give her whatever she wants

Stephanopoulos: Will you pay for this with a tax on Cadillacs?

Axelrod: these high-end health plans cover necessary things like erection pills but unnecessary things like abortion

Stephanopoulos: I see

Stephanopoulos: Republicans says Obama will increase the deficit

Axelrod: yeah well they also say he is a British Indonesian from Nairobi

Stephanopoulos: aha [ scribbles note ]

Axelrod: don’t worry we’ll pay for health care even if we have to take the drastic step of giving a speech saying we will

Stephanopoulos: New economic stimulus - yes or no?

Axelrod: Sure we have to do something - Bush left us a really really crappy economy

Stephanopoulos: Good god man - Goldman Sachs is paying out record bonuses and we gave them billions in free money!

Axelrod: what’s really sad is that they are not lending out the free money we gave them

Stephanopoulos: well what is President Obama going to do about it?

Axelrod: there’s nothing we can do except moral suasion

Stephanopoulos: Whining? That’s all??

Axelrod: we can’t micromanage their pay to employees

Stephanopoulos: It’s taxpayer money?!

Axelrod: [ wrings hands ]

Stephanopoulos: Are you at war with Fox News?

Axelrod: Fox what?

Stephanopoulos: that Fox station

Axelrod: they’re not a news station they’re a propaganda outfit and we’re not going treat them like a legitimate news station

Stephanopoulos: whoa

Axelrod: and real news stations like you should be glad because you’re real and they’re a bunch of paid liars

Stephanopoulos: aww you flatter me

Axelrod: you’re such a nice boy too

Stephanopoulos: Rupert Murdoch says you helped their ratings

Axelrod: I don’t care about their rantings

Stephanopoulos: I said ratings

Axelrod: those too

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