Meet The Press
October 25, 2009
Gregory: Sen. Cornyn there was a bombing in Iraq so does this prove that Obama is a bad President?
Cornyn: yes - Tommy Friedman said so
Schumer: Not true - our soldiers are heroes
Gregory: have we won in Iraq?
Schumer: we never should have invaded in the first place Fluffers
Gregory: Sen Schumer it may feel good to limit welfare to $500,000 but the reality is that it’s just punishment!
Schumer: that’s fucking stupid Dancin’ Dave
Gregory: But if Obama cuts their pay, they are going to quit and get another better jobs and that will hurt the companies and then they won’t be able to pay their welfare back!!!
Cornyn: holy shit even I can’t follow that logic
Gregory: an executive told me they will quit for other jobs where they ruin other companies for millions
Cornyn: Don’t worry Fluffy they will just get paid
in gold wastebaskets
Gregory: But isn’t it wrong for the government
to shame wonderful dignified poor little failed executives??
Schumer: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: Public option - yes or no?
Schumer: I propose creating a public health insurance company - but one as badly run as private insurers so there will be a level playing field
Gregory: What is President Snowe’s position?
Schumer: Liberals Dems can live with it, Wanker Dems don’t like it but may not fillibuster
Gregory: Sen. Cornyn can you live with a public option?
Cornyn: OMG I just remember that the debt is bad!!!
Gregory: the debt built up under Reagan, Bush, and Bush Jr.?
Cornyn: Public option is a Trojan Horse for Single-Payer!
Schumer: oh fuck these GOP fuckers - they didn’t pay for Iraq, Afghanistan, Bailout Boy’s spending and all the other shit they pulled
Cornyn: well then let’s get rid of Social Security
Gregory: Dick Cheney says Obama is dithering on fixing the problems of Cheney administration
Schumer: ha - fuck that stupid fuck
Cornyn: President McChrystal says Gen. Obama should give him more troops!
Gregory: Did Cheney provide enough troops?
Cornyn: Clearly not - but the issue is not troops
but a bad strategy
Schumer: Bush’s bad strategy!
Cornyn: well technically
Gregory: Senator you’re a Republican - is Obama in trouble?
Cornyn: indeed - the election they haven’t lost in Virginia is a cautionary tale for liberals
Schumer: yeah stick with that you stupid fuck
Gregory: Is Obama killing Wall Street by limiting them to a salary $500,000??
Burnett: No they’ll just get paid in stock options
Gregory: oh thank god
Sorkin: they’re all going to quit and work for Goldman Sachs - it’s so, so sad
Gregory: why would Goldman pay them that much?
Sorkin: they all belong to same country club
Gregory: we have to encourage risk - that’s
how money is made in the world!
Gregory: [ high pitched squeaky voice ]
Sure it’s easy to bash AIG but we want them to be healthier and so we have to pay their failed executives millions!!
[ laughs ]
Burnett: Calm down Fluffy
Gregory: but the debt!!
Burnett: sorry but we need to spend this money
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Gregory: OMG Obama is trying to undermine conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, insurance executives and Fox News!!
Scarborough: the mainstream media does whatever Fox wants and that hasn’t changed
Gregory: has Obama changed the tone in Washington?
Smiley: as the liberal here I agree Obama is uncivil, unaccountable, and this is all a distraction
Gregory: thank you liberal Tavis Smiley
Mayer: hey Fluffers all Presidents do this - you’re just holding Obama to a higher standard
Scarborough: of course - because everyone knows that Republicans are evil
Mayer: so he’s not Gandhi
Scarborough: he promised to be Gandhi
Gregory: where's the saintly Obama were promised?
Scarborough: of course Nixon was evil he was a Republican
Senor: Rush Limbaugh is thrilled!
Smiley: this is all a distraction dammit!!
Scarborough: all America wakes up every morning listening to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh!
Gregory: where is the public option?
Scarborough: Liberals are angry at Obama for pushing a trigger
Gregory: how do you know?
Scarborough: Arianna Huffington says so
Gregory: so why don’t I just invite her on?
Scarborough: I’m so charming
Gregory: Is a Obama wishy-washy failure?
Smiley: He’s gotta lead!
Mayer: the Constitution requires 60 voters to enact legislation!
Senor: Republicans in Congress wanted to work with the President but he betrayed them with his partisan hatred
Gregory: Cheney says Obama is dithering
and killing troops
Senor: Obama is too obsessed with Cheney just because the former vice president accuses him of playing golf and letting US soldiers die
Senor: I don’t want to say Obama is dithering but there are all these questions out there about whether Obama loves America or wants to see men and women in uniform die
Gregory: Jane you say we’re using drones to
Mayer: It’s the new American way to fight - killing innocent people using robots from above
Smiley: this is nonsense!
Scarborough: This proves that targeted assassinations are the way to go
Senor: we need thousands of marines!
Mayer: whoa dudes put your goddamm dicks away
Gregory: is there a fight in the Republican party?
Mayer: sounds bad for the GOP
Scarborough: no this is good news Republicans
- it always is