Sunday, October 25, 2009

Meet The Press - October 25, 2009

Meet The Press
October 25, 2009
Sen. Cornyn
Sen. Schumer
Aaron Sorkin
Erin Burnett
Joe Scarborogh
Jane Mayer
Tavis Smiley
Dan Senor
Gregory: Sen. Cornyn there was a bombing in Iraq so does this prove that Obama is a bad President?

Cornyn: yes - Tommy Friedman said so

Schumer: Not true - our soldiers are heroes

Gregory: have we won in Iraq?

Schumer: we never should have invaded in the first place Fluffers

Gregory: Sen Schumer it may feel good to limit welfare to $500,000 but the reality is that it’s just punishment!

Schumer: that’s fucking stupid Dancin’ Dave

Gregory: But if Obama cuts their pay, they are going to quit and get another better jobs and that will hurt the companies and then they won’t be able to pay their welfare back!!!

Cornyn: holy shit even I can’t follow that logic

Gregory: an executive told me they will quit for other jobs where they ruin other companies for millions
of dollars

Cornyn: Don’t worry Fluffy they will just get paid
in gold wastebaskets

Gregory: But isn’t it wrong for the government
to shame wonderful dignified poor little failed executives??

Schumer: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: Public option - yes or no?

Schumer: I propose creating a public health insurance company - but one as badly run as private insurers so there will be a level playing field

Gregory: What is President Snowe’s position?

Schumer: Liberals Dems can live with it, Wanker Dems don’t like it but may not fillibuster

Gregory: Sen. Cornyn can you live with a public option?

Cornyn: OMG I just remember that the debt is bad!!!

Gregory: the debt built up under Reagan, Bush, and Bush Jr.?

Cornyn: Public option is a Trojan Horse for Single-Payer!

Schumer: oh fuck these GOP fuckers - they didn’t pay for Iraq, Afghanistan, Bailout Boy’s spending and all the other shit they pulled

Cornyn: well then let’s get rid of Social Security

Gregory: Dick Cheney says Obama is dithering on fixing the problems of Cheney administration

Schumer: ha - fuck that stupid fuck

Cornyn: President McChrystal says Gen. Obama should give him more troops!

Gregory: Did Cheney provide enough troops?

Cornyn: Clearly not - but the issue is not troops
but a bad strategy

Schumer: Bush’s bad strategy!

Cornyn: well technically

Gregory: Senator you’re a Republican - is Obama in trouble?

Cornyn: indeed - the election they haven’t lost in Virginia is a cautionary tale for liberals

Schumer: yeah stick with that you stupid fuck


Gregory: Is Obama killing Wall Street by limiting them to a salary $500,000??

Burnett: No they’ll just get paid in stock options

Gregory: oh thank god

Sorkin: they’re all going to quit and work for Goldman Sachs - it’s so, so sad

Gregory: why would Goldman pay them that much?

Sorkin: they all belong to same country club

Gregory: we have to encourage risk - that’s
how money is made in the world!

Sorkin: right

Gregory: [ high pitched squeaky voice ]

Sure it’s easy to bash AIG but we want them to be healthier and so we have to pay their failed executives millions!!

[ laughs ]

Burnett: Calm down Fluffy

Gregory: but the debt!!

Burnett: sorry but we need to spend this money

Gregory: [ sobs ]

Gregory: OMG Obama is trying to undermine conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, insurance executives and Fox News!!

Scarborough: the mainstream media does whatever Fox wants and that hasn’t changed

Gregory: has Obama changed the tone in Washington?

Smiley: as the liberal here I agree Obama is uncivil, unaccountable, and this is all a distraction

Gregory: thank you liberal Tavis Smiley

Mayer: hey Fluffers all Presidents do this - you’re just holding Obama to a higher standard

Scarborough: of course - because everyone knows that Republicans are evil

Mayer: so he’s not Gandhi

Scarborough: he promised to be Gandhi

Gregory: where's the saintly Obama were promised?

Scarborough: of course Nixon was evil he was a Republican

Senor: Rush Limbaugh is thrilled!

Smiley: this is all a distraction dammit!!

Scarborough: all America wakes up every morning listening to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh!

Gregory: where is the public option?

Scarborough: Liberals are angry at Obama for pushing a trigger

Gregory: how do you know?

Scarborough: Arianna Huffington says so

Gregory: so why don’t I just invite her on?

Scarborough: I’m so charming

Gregory: Is a Obama wishy-washy failure?

Smiley: He’s gotta lead!

Mayer: the Constitution requires 60 voters to enact legislation!

Senor: Republicans in Congress wanted to work with the President but he betrayed them with his partisan hatred

Gregory: Cheney says Obama is dithering
and killing troops

Senor: Obama is too obsessed with Cheney just because the former vice president accuses him of playing golf and letting US soldiers die

Gregory: fascinating

Senor: I don’t want to say Obama is dithering but there are all these questions out there about whether Obama loves America or wants to see men and women in uniform die

Gregory: Jane you say we’re using drones to
bomb people

Mayer: It’s the new American way to fight - killing innocent people using robots from above

Smiley: this is nonsense!

Scarborough: This proves that targeted assassinations are the way to go

Senor: we need thousands of marines!

Mayer: whoa dudes put your goddamm dicks away

Gregory: is there a fight in the Republican party?

Scarborough: yes!

Mayer: sounds bad for the GOP

Scarborough: no this is good news Republicans
- it always is

1 comment:

Kenneth said...

stellar as usual.