Ret. Gen. Keane
Stephanopoulos: Diane what’s going on
Feinstein: Violence is up 100% and the Taliban controls half the country
Stephanopoulos: sounds terrific
Feinstein: the whole mission is in jeopardy
Stephanopoulos: I’ll take "Hopeless Quagmires"
for $1,000, Alex
Feinstein: we should stop killing civilians from above
Stephanopoulos: that’s just crazy enough to work
Chambliss: the government is hopelessly corrupt and no one wants us there - so we should greatly increase our military presence
Keane: eventually the Afghan military should
Stephanopoulos: good idea - when can we do that?
Stephanopoulos: why so long?
Keane: we’re pregnant with a colony and we have
to give birth or have an abortion
McGovern: I’m told there are only 100 members
of al qaeda in Afghanistan - for this we need 100,000 new troops??
Feinstein: that depends on what the meaning of
al qaeda is
Stephanopoulos: so why stay?
Feinstein: women are begging in the streets and being beaten and we need to stabilize this country
Stephanopoulos: we’ll get to domestic policy
in a minute
Feinstein: we must respect McChrystal - after all he came from a Crackerjack box
Chambliss: If Afghanistan falls then Pakistan will
be invaded or encroached upon bad guys
Stephanopoulos: you read a lot of comic
books do you?
Chambliss: Afghanistan will attack Pakistan!
Stephanopoulos: What will General Obama do if President McChrystal opposes him?
Keane: I don’t know but it’s a moral dilemma
Stephanopoulos: He should resign - after all the President is a young black man with no medals
McGovern: jeebus we’ve been there for 8 years and we’re propping up a corrupt unelected government
Stephanopoulos: is that right Saxby?
Chambliss: Oh absolutely - which is why we have to stay - otherwise Osama bin Laden will get access to Pakistan’s nuclear weapons
Stephanopoulos: truly it is amazing Bush didn’t
win the Nobel peace prize
Chambliss: the literacy rate there is only 20% and that doesn’t work
Stephanopoulos: we’ll discuss your home state later Senator
Feinstein: we should totally get the rest of the
world to pay for the Afghan war
Stephanopoulos: good luck with that
Keane: there’s an elephant in the room in Pakistan
Stephanopoulos: that the Pakistan government has been supporting the Taliban all this time?
Keane: no it’s an actual elephant - it sits there during Cabinet meetings
Stephanopoulos: what should Obama consider when making his Afghan decision?
Chambliss: the stability of our troops and giving them what they need to stay in a far-off land in Asia
McGovern: we need to be smarter and not just maintain a useless and expensive world-wide empire
Keane: Obama has a chance to fix Bush’s fuck ups and be decisive and think about later
Feinstein: we should leave as soon as we stay and create a functioning democracy and also they must have a Disneyland
Stephanopoulos: so we have to leave a government as functional as the state of California?
Feinstein: no that would be a war crime
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming