Meet The Press on NBC - July 8, 2007
Guest Host: David Gregory
Guests: Sen. Chuck Hagel, Eugene Robinson, Todd Purdum, Ann Kornblut, David Brooks
NotRussert: 518 troops have been killed since The Surge began and Bush is moving the goalposts what's up
Chuck Hagel: the violence is totally uncontrollable and we're stuck in the middle of a civil war
Hagel: there is no military solution - we have to make a political effort
Gregory: but dood we haven't killed enough people yet!
Hagel: that’s true but violence begats violence i read that in a fortune cookie once
Gregory: how is the Iraqi government
Hagel: the Maliki government is in the crapper
Gregory: no one is showing up for Cabinet meetings and the Sunnis are boycotting
Hagel: we can't control uncontrollables
Hagel: look dood the republicans are fleeing this war so I have to tell you that now really its over
Gregory: so sad
Hagel: also our military is coming to a crashing halt everyone knows it but Prime Minister Stupid in Chief
Gregory: hey i know that dood
Hagel: time to put the hammer down!
Greogry: but we can’t just leave - I haven’t won a Pulitzer yet
Hagel: we still have a role to play - for instance we've been undermining our interests in the Middle East, we could keep doing that but in a safe way
Gregory: sounds good to me
Hagel: we took our eye off the ball which is extremism
Gregory: support a timeline to withdraw?
Hagel: we need a phased withdraw
Gregroy: set our phasers on stun?
Hagel: dood if we don't pull out now we will be in big deep hole
Gregory: leave iraq yes or no
Hagel: it can't be the Dirty Hippie Withdrawal it has to be Withdrawal + Plus Killing
Gregory: oh good I’d hate to do it right
Hagel: Bush is a idiot who rejected Baker - Hamilton you see it's a Safe Harbor for Senators to hide behind why Bush did not seize on it I have no idea
Gregory: he's a moron?
Hagel: uh yeah - look I talked to career military officers and they say it will take a full generation to recover from the disastrous Bush presidency
Gregory: age of aquarius dood
Hagel: we don't wins hearts and minds by killing people and weakening our military
Gregory: but if we leave it will be a mess in Iraq
Hagel: what the fuck dood are you high it's a fucking mess right now who the fuck are we kidding
Gregory: the Joe Lieberman Weekly sez you turned against Vietnam because of all the lies
Hagel: Edifice of Distortion
Greogry: dood that would make a great name for a rock group
Hagel: yes it was all a pack of lies and stupid decisions - we all know that the problem is people don't trust the President and he is done
Gregory: are you saying Bush is an untrustworthy fucker
Hagel: no i simply believe that he is certifiably insane
Gregory: oh ok
Hagel: he has 90 days to prove that he is not a mass murderer call it the Hagel Dialectic
Gregory: do you believe Bush luvs killing
Hagel: Bush sayz he's the Decider or some such nonsense but we can cut off the money or frankly resort to impeachment
Gregory: would you impeach
Hagel: not today but then i haven't got any articles right in front of me - hint hint
Gregory: 90 days?
Hagel: Bush must surrender to non-morons on Capitol Hill or we will introduce him to little thing called fucking reality
Gregory: dood you held a press conference to announce you might run for President but were not at that time then u had dinner with Mayor Bloomberg what's up
Hagel: i will decide in the next 60 days call it the Hagelberg Unit
Gregory: r u independent
Hagel: [ twiddles thumbs looks at ceiling ]
Gregory: dood yur so coy
Hagel: hey u never know god knows the Republican party is teh suck
Gregory: what will happen in 60 dayz
Hagel: i have to find out if people hate me or luv me or know who the hell i am
Gregory: yur like a smart version of john McCain
Hagel: heh what a fucking idiot he is
Gregory: will u endorse someone
Hagel: i may vote for Joe Biden or Chris Dodd
Gregory: dood c'mon!!
Hagel: i know it's sad but look the people think the country is on the wrong track so i would luv to run as independent by my problem is just how do you get 270 electoral votes
Gregory: u could just cheat like George Bush
[ break ]
Gregory: scooter libby pardon yes or no
Hagel: totally wrong the Founders did not want Presidents to engage in selective justice just when you thought Bush couldn't sink any lower there he goes
Gregory: David Brooks you wrote the stupidest column in human history this week are mentally ill, on drugs, or are you just a complete fucker??
David Brooks: well Libby’s career was ruined and his reputation was shot, so really isn't that enough he is a white man after all
Todd Purdum: worst decision ever now every person convicted of the same crime can also not go to jail jesus christ
Eugene Robinson: Libby's only supporters were Beltway reporters who luv outing CIA agents
Gregory: was Libby blackmailing Bush?
Robinson: David Brooks is a moron -- the judge, jury, DOJ, prosecutor were all Republicans the only politics was the commutation itself
Gregory: ok let's spend the rest of the panel bashing Hillary and The Cleins!!!!!!!
Panel: we luv it!
Gregory: Ha ha so fun Marc Rich Marc Rich Marc Rich Marc Rich!!!!!!
Kornblut: omg i had kittenz when she mentioned “justice” Hillary had several people murdered and Clinton pardoned Osama Bin Laden i mean me and the other reporters were like wow
David Brooks: the bottom line is whether yur a liberal or conservative the truth is nothing is illegal inside the Beltway
Gregory: Kinsley made a interesting point which is perjury is okay if you're defending an illegal war
Eugene Robinson: well that's very cute i wonder what fucking planet are you all from it's the call the jury system -- should we not have that anymore because the black community would love to hear that
Brooks: because Republicans lied about this that means everyone was dishonest
Gregory: wow how do you figure
Brooks: prosecutors should not prosecute people its crazy
Gregory: what’s the Bill Factor
Kornblut: they tried to diminish Bill Clinton’s glamour they dressed him like Ward Cleaver
Greogry: but that didn't work because we all want him back as President
Purdum: are we really ready for another 8 years of peace and prosperity - i mean she's just like Bush except not
Gregory: Obama is black and white it's crazy!!!
Robinson: Obama doesn't have enough experience being married to a President who had sex with an intern behind his back leading him to move to a strange state and run for the Senate
Brooks: Obama never takes the cheap shot in debates its hurting him
Gregory: McCain is running the suckiest campaign ever
Purdum: he's not trying to pander to people anymore he still supports the war
Gregory: he had no more money
Purudm: last year he had a private jet and last week he was seen in Row 29 of a coach
Gregory: on a commercial airline wow?
Purdum: no Greyhound dood
Brooks: look the Republican party is falling apart everyone hates them
Gregory: Fred Thompson you know Tweety Matthews luvs him
Robinson: he's just a stupid fad
Purdum: Republicans have to sink really low and get pragmatic to have a chance in 2008
Gregory: so sad
Purdum: you got the cross dresser, the nutjob, the mormon,
Kornblut: the people are enthused for the Democrats heck even Chris Dodd
Gregory: david brooks tell us about Iraq
Brooks: in September they will announce they have won in Baghdad and flee for their lives
Robinson: yeah bush will withdraw from Iraq also hell will freeze over and bloggers will fly out of my ass
Purdum: Bush is in mental collapse
Gregory: What is Bush’s deal is he crazy
Kornblut: Bush believes he is on a mission from God
Gregory: we’re all doomed and out of time