Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Democratic Debate - July 23, 2007

Dennis Kucinich wants to create a Department of Peace
Democratic Debate - July 23, 2007
CNN / YouTube
The Citadel
(Note: Partial transcript)

Q: Kucinich, yur a freak so why should we vote for u

Kucinich: dood i always opposed this now don't get me wrong, i like war as much as anyone, and duty and honor and all that but my motto is Strength Thru Peace, baby


Clinton: Democrats are totally united behind me and my pink outfit -- not the Keebler Elf. Do u know I have been an instument of change for 35 years!

[scattered applause]

Obama: dood the Democrats are to blame too that's why i don't take PAC money -- i totally rock

Q: hillary r u a liberal?

Hillary: it used to mean u were in favor of freedom in the 19th century but i'm not a liberal i'm an American-Modern-Progressive it's kind of Whitman-meets-Twain-Meets-William Jennings Bryant thing

Gravel: let's talk about Obama he took $$$ from Robert Wuhl and he sucked in "Batman" and "Good Morning Vietnam"

Obama: dood i passed a law against this while you were sitting around watching Matlock reruns

Q: Biden, which Republicans do you like?


Biden: i like Chuck Hagel and name Dick Lugar Sec. of State

Anderson: he said name on person dood

Biden: you know that bill called the Clinton crime bill, well I call it the Biden Crime Bill

Anderson: how bizarre

Edwards: you can't negotiate with the insurance companies we have crush in the infame!!

[ applause!!! ]

Q: John Edwards, are we ever going to get reparations for slavery?

Edwards: no of course not dood but look at other issues like why do low and high income blacks pay more for mortgages is Malcom X Blvd. that nice i don't think so

Obama: no but what about investment in teh schools?

[ big applause ]

the kids are still living in the civil war era classrooms and thats a Corridor of Shame

Kucinich: yes and no i will take this opportunity to talk and say yes but really no it's all about defense contractors wait on second thought yes I am in favor of reparations!

Q: what would have happened in Katrina had hit Greenwich CT dood?

Dodd: oh you know it would have been way different hopefully that would not happen again - you know, on second thought we should have been ready before the hurricane hit!

Anderson C: but dood the mayor is a democrat doesn't that make Bush a hero

Richardson: no way you know Bush is a fucking sociopath who strummed while the city was destroyed

Q: barack r u really black?

Obama: when i tried to catch a cab in New York trust me I'm black

Anderson: well dood that's hard for everyone

Obama: uh huh anyway obviously i'm black but if you want to solve the race problem give people equal opportunity otherwise just give up

Clinton: well i know what i am i am woman hear me roar and damm proud of it

Anderson: sing it sister

Clinton: look Bill is hispanic and Obama is black and I'm female and let's face there's more of me than of them

Edwards: i speak for everyone on this stage when i say i don't want the racists to vote for me

Obama: that's true

Edwards: raise the minimum wage that will help more women than electing Hillary

Anderson: diss Elizabeth please

Hilllary: oh don't go there Andy i was in Bejing in front of the tanks advocating for women and everyone knows that -- hell i moved to fucking Arkansas now there's a damm sacrifice

Q (Brooklyn Lesbians): gay marriage doods

Dennis: Yes! and you know why? cause Lesbians are hot! No I'm just kidding it's about human rights!

Dodd: um, well, see, I have 2 daughters and if they grew up to be lesbians i would want them to be able to not be married

Richardson: no because people hate gays if i were president i couldn't do anything about that

Q: how can u use religion to deny gay americans equal rights doods

Edwards: i'm conflicted because i know discrimination is wrong but my church and my desire to be elected tell me it's ok

Anderson: did he answer yur question

Rev: yeah but not the answer i wanted

Edwards: i don't like gays but i won't use my beliefs to discriminate

Obama: i like civil unions that would be equality under the law as far as marriage goes that's for the church to decide

Coop-man: dood that makes no sense now let's watch a movie

Q: will u save Darfur?

Richardson: i've been to Darfur i would be very aggressive - - use diplomacy, ask China to be nice also the UN should send it's massive army

Andy C: no fly zone?

Richardson: maybe

Andy: US soldiers?

Bill: no big scary permanent muslim UN Troops

Hillary: no fly zone and sanctions

Andy C: US army troops?

Hillary: no UN troops and African troops dammit we can't even find Osama

Anderson: 12 Citadel grads have been killed in Afghanistan and Iraq did u know that

[ applause!!!! ]

Anderson C: damm i am so fucking cool

Biden: goddammit Bill you're full of crap we should send troops right now - don't laugh at me i'm not kidding - we can save them if we want to only 2,500 troops would do it

Gravel: we need to establish a Global Government and it's sad that African countries don't like us

Anderson: shut up old man

Q: i hated the US invasion of Iraq but the country is newborn little baby what if Russia goes in????

Obama: jeez what a loon obviously i was right this war was a mistake from the beginning if it's too hot for the Iraqi legislature then dammit the American troops can leave for the summer too

Biden: i'm the only one who has offered a solution - that is split the country into three pieces

[ applause ]

Q: how many soldiers will die so Dems can avoid the label that you're weak on defense

Hillary: look we're trying to win Republican support for a pullout -- i asked the Pentagon for the plan to leave and they said i was unpatriotic

Kucinich: simple solution stop funding the war that's it!!

Dodd: we're trying to convince the wackos in Iraq to shape up and they only way to do it is pass a bill telling them to

Richardson: pull all troops out by the end of 2007 - like now

Q: did the troops in Vietnam really die in vain

Gravel: yes all the troops in Vietnam died in vain i was in Hanoi and someone bought me ice cream it was delicious

Cooper: dood that was the Juneau Food Court

Obama: i opposed the war and Hillary and Edwards were in favor of it so suck it

Edwards: we have to force George Bush to change course somehow

Q: Should women register for the draft?

Dodd: absolutely you never know when rivets will pop out

Hillary: sure they should women are serving in Iraq so yeah we may have to draft them

Andy: interesting

Hillary: build a public service academy you know like a female Citadel but with pillow fights

Obama: i luv Tuskeegee airman so yes

Edwards: chicks who fly F-16s are awesome

Gravel: i fillbustered to end the draft in World War One Eugene Debs brought me coffee and emma goldman knit me some pajamas

Q: Arabs states hate girlz so why should u be President

Hillary: because dood i will be the President of the Fucking United States of Kicking Ass and Taking Names and if you want to fuck with me just try it

Andy: wow u r scary

Q: will u meet with the leaders of the Scary Bad Countries

Obama: damm right i would why not Reagan met with teh Commies

Q: Hillary answer the Scary Man question

Hillary: unlike naive Obama i will not promise to meet with these doods i mean why meet with Castro for god's sake

Edwards: what she said

Q: when will we pull all the troopz out of iraq

Dodd: all i can say is i will try to pull out beginning in Jan. 2009

Cooper: so all troops out by Jan 21 2009

Dood: no u idiot i won't be President until then

Richardson: i'm better because i say all troops out before then

Biden: god you are stupid you can't get the troops out in less than six months when i go to iraq i get shot at and that's just by our troops

Andy C: wow

Biden: how do we protect the civilians did you ever even think about this

Hillary: i have a three point plan but Joe is right i have done a lot of this but this whole conversation is stupid the Democrats are not in charge and the Pentagon is not even planning for it so Bill Richardson will you please shut the fuck up

Q: who's yur favorite teacher

Gravel: Horace Mann saw something this young whippersnapper he gave me a slate and taught me the alphabet

Obama: a kenyan lady taught me about teh Circle of Life

Biden: i had a teacher who told me i should president and he was right

Q: No Child Left Behind?

Richardson: get rid of it, it sux it punishes schools for not doing well it's stupid

Biden: i voted for it cause ted kennedy got me drunk one night

Q: Public or Private School

Edwards: all my kids went to public school

Hillary: look Chelsea went to public schools until Bill was the fucking President you schmuck

Obama: it's irrelvant there are fine public schools but there are alos a lot of crappy ones and Senators have a choice but poor people don't always have one

Gravel: let the schools compete like Battle of the Network Stars remember when Jack Benny beat Ed Sullivan!!?

Q: Sex education for your kids

Edwards: my wife is really old you know she was in AARP

Cooper: cool

Edwards: we talk about "wrong touching"

Andy: eeeewww too much

Obama: mitt romney is moron and hypocrite it's all about sexual predators

Q: Al Gore is going to run?

Biden: look I made a humorous quip!

Dennis Kucinich: Would Create Department of Peace

Barack Obama: Is He Black Enough?
Hillary Clinton: She Smiles. She Laughs. Do Not Fuck With Her.

Mike Gravel: Filibustered the Draft in 1917 - Eugene Debs Got Him Coffee
John Edwards: He's Ready For His Close Up
Joe Biden: Yoko Ono of Foreign Policy - Wants to Break Up Iraq
Chris Dodd: Suspects His Daughters May Be Lesbians
Bill Richardson: It's OK, He's From *New* Mexico


Nick said...

Mike Gravel as Abe Simpson! love it!!!!

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