Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Democratic Debate - July 23, 2007
Dennis Kucinich wants to create a Department of Peace
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Democratic Debate - July 23, 2007
CNN / YouTube
The Citadel
(Note: Partial transcript)
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Q: Kucinich, yur a freak so why should we vote for u
Kucinich: dood i always opposed this now don't get me wrong, i like war as much as anyone, and duty and honor and all that but my motto is Strength Thru Peace, baby
[applause]
Clinton: Democrats are totally united behind me and my pink outfit -- not the Keebler Elf. Do u know I have been an instument of change for 35 years!
[scattered applause]
Obama: dood the Democrats are to blame too that's why i don't take PAC money -- i totally rock
Q: hillary r u a liberal?
Hillary: it used to mean u were in favor of freedom in the 19th century but i'm not a liberal i'm an American-Modern-Progressive it's kind of Whitman-meets-Twain-Meets-William Jennings Bryant thing
Gravel: let's talk about Obama he took $$$ from Robert Wuhl and he sucked in "Batman" and "Good Morning Vietnam"
Obama: dood i passed a law against this while you were sitting around watching Matlock reruns
Q: Biden, which Republicans do you like?
[applause]
Biden: i like Chuck Hagel and name Dick Lugar Sec. of State
Anderson: he said name on person dood
Biden: you know that bill called the Clinton crime bill, well I call it the Biden Crime Bill
Anderson: how bizarre
Edwards: you can't negotiate with the insurance companies we have crush in the infame!!
[ applause!!! ]
Q: John Edwards, are we ever going to get reparations for slavery?
Edwards: no of course not dood but look at other issues like why do low and high income blacks pay more for mortgages is Malcom X Blvd. that nice i don't think so
Obama: no but what about investment in teh schools?
[ big applause ]
the kids are still living in the civil war era classrooms and thats a Corridor of Shame
Kucinich: yes and no i will take this opportunity to talk and say yes but really no it's all about defense contractors wait on second thought yes I am in favor of reparations!
Q: what would have happened in Katrina had hit Greenwich CT dood?
Dodd: oh you know it would have been way different hopefully that would not happen again - you know, on second thought we should have been ready before the hurricane hit!
Anderson C: but dood the mayor is a democrat doesn't that make Bush a hero
Richardson: no way you know Bush is a fucking sociopath who strummed while the city was destroyed
Q: barack r u really black?
Obama: when i tried to catch a cab in New York trust me I'm black
Anderson: well dood that's hard for everyone
Obama: uh huh anyway obviously i'm black but if you want to solve the race problem give people equal opportunity otherwise just give up
Clinton: well i know what i am i am woman hear me roar and damm proud of it
Anderson: sing it sister
Clinton: look Bill is hispanic and Obama is black and I'm female and let's face there's more of me than of them
Edwards: i speak for everyone on this stage when i say i don't want the racists to vote for me
Obama: that's true
Edwards: raise the minimum wage that will help more women than electing Hillary
Anderson: diss Elizabeth please
Hilllary: oh don't go there Andy i was in Bejing in front of the tanks advocating for women and everyone knows that -- hell i moved to fucking Arkansas now there's a damm sacrifice
Q (Brooklyn Lesbians): gay marriage doods
Dennis: Yes! and you know why? cause Lesbians are hot! No I'm just kidding it's about human rights!
Dodd: um, well, see, I have 2 daughters and if they grew up to be lesbians i would want them to be able to not be married
Richardson: no because people hate gays if i were president i couldn't do anything about that
Q: how can u use religion to deny gay americans equal rights doods
Edwards: i'm conflicted because i know discrimination is wrong but my church and my desire to be elected tell me it's ok
Anderson: did he answer yur question
Rev: yeah but not the answer i wanted
Edwards: i don't like gays but i won't use my beliefs to discriminate
Obama: i like civil unions that would be equality under the law as far as marriage goes that's for the church to decide
Coop-man: dood that makes no sense now let's watch a movie
Q: will u save Darfur?
Richardson: i've been to Darfur i would be very aggressive - - use diplomacy, ask China to be nice also the UN should send it's massive army
Andy C: no fly zone?
Richardson: maybe
Andy: US soldiers?
Bill: no big scary permanent muslim UN Troops
Hillary: no fly zone and sanctions
Andy C: US army troops?
Hillary: no UN troops and African troops dammit we can't even find Osama
Anderson: 12 Citadel grads have been killed in Afghanistan and Iraq did u know that
[ applause!!!! ]
Anderson C: damm i am so fucking cool
Biden: goddammit Bill you're full of crap we should send troops right now - don't laugh at me i'm not kidding - we can save them if we want to only 2,500 troops would do it
Gravel: we need to establish a Global Government and it's sad that African countries don't like us
Anderson: shut up old man
Q: i hated the US invasion of Iraq but the country is newborn little baby what if Russia goes in????
Obama: jeez what a loon obviously i was right this war was a mistake from the beginning if it's too hot for the Iraqi legislature then dammit the American troops can leave for the summer too
Biden: i'm the only one who has offered a solution - that is split the country into three pieces
[ applause ]
Q: how many soldiers will die so Dems can avoid the label that you're weak on defense
Hillary: look we're trying to win Republican support for a pullout -- i asked the Pentagon for the plan to leave and they said i was unpatriotic
Kucinich: simple solution stop funding the war that's it!!
Dodd: we're trying to convince the wackos in Iraq to shape up and they only way to do it is pass a bill telling them to
Richardson: pull all troops out by the end of 2007 - like now
Q: did the troops in Vietnam really die in vain
Gravel: yes all the troops in Vietnam died in vain i was in Hanoi and someone bought me ice cream it was delicious
Cooper: dood that was the Juneau Food Court
Obama: i opposed the war and Hillary and Edwards were in favor of it so suck it
Edwards: we have to force George Bush to change course somehow
Q: Should women register for the draft?
Dodd: absolutely you never know when rivets will pop out
Hillary: sure they should women are serving in Iraq so yeah we may have to draft them
Andy: interesting
Hillary: build a public service academy you know like a female Citadel but with pillow fights
Obama: i luv Tuskeegee airman so yes
Edwards: chicks who fly F-16s are awesome
Gravel: i fillbustered to end the draft in World War One Eugene Debs brought me coffee and emma goldman knit me some pajamas
Q: Arabs states hate girlz so why should u be President
Hillary: because dood i will be the President of the Fucking United States of Kicking Ass and Taking Names and if you want to fuck with me just try it
Andy: wow u r scary
Q: will u meet with the leaders of the Scary Bad Countries
Obama: damm right i would why not Reagan met with teh Commies
Q: Hillary answer the Scary Man question
Hillary: unlike naive Obama i will not promise to meet with these doods i mean why meet with Castro for god's sake
Edwards: what she said
Q: when will we pull all the troopz out of iraq
Dodd: all i can say is i will try to pull out beginning in Jan. 2009
Cooper: so all troops out by Jan 21 2009
Dood: no u idiot i won't be President until then
Richardson: i'm better because i say all troops out before then
Biden: god you are stupid you can't get the troops out in less than six months when i go to iraq i get shot at and that's just by our troops
Andy C: wow
Biden: how do we protect the civilians did you ever even think about this
Hillary: i have a three point plan but Joe is right i have done a lot of this but this whole conversation is stupid the Democrats are not in charge and the Pentagon is not even planning for it so Bill Richardson will you please shut the fuck up
Q: who's yur favorite teacher
Gravel: Horace Mann saw something this young whippersnapper he gave me a slate and taught me the alphabet
Obama: a kenyan lady taught me about teh Circle of Life
Biden: i had a teacher who told me i should president and he was right
Q: No Child Left Behind?
Richardson: get rid of it, it sux it punishes schools for not doing well it's stupid
Biden: i voted for it cause ted kennedy got me drunk one night
Q: Public or Private School
Edwards: all my kids went to public school
Hillary: look Chelsea went to public schools until Bill was the fucking President you schmuck
Obama: it's irrelvant there are fine public schools but there are alos a lot of crappy ones and Senators have a choice but poor people don't always have one
Gravel: let the schools compete like Battle of the Network Stars remember when Jack Benny beat Ed Sullivan!!?
Q: Sex education for your kids
Edwards: my wife is really old you know she was in AARP
Cooper: cool
Edwards: we talk about "wrong touching"
Andy: eeeewww too much
Obama: mitt romney is moron and hypocrite it's all about sexual predators
Q: Al Gore is going to run?
Biden: look I made a humorous quip!
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Dennis Kucinich: Would Create Department of Peace
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Barack Obama: Is He Black Enough?
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Hillary Clinton: She Smiles. She Laughs. Do Not Fuck With Her.
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Mike Gravel: Filibustered the Draft in 1917 - Eugene Debs Got Him Coffee
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John Edwards: He's Ready For His Close Up
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Joe Biden: Yoko Ono of Foreign Policy - Wants to Break Up Iraq
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Chris Dodd: Suspects His Daughters May Be Lesbians
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Bill Richardson: It's OK, He's From *New* Mexico
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2 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mike Gravel as Abe Simpson! love it!!!!
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