Sunday, July 15, 2007

Meet the Press - July 15, 2007

Meet the Press - July 15, 2007
Host: Tim Russert
Guests: Sen. Jim Webb, Sen. Lindsey Graham

Russert: dood are you trying to run the war

Webb: there is no war it's a botched occupation

Russert: wow sacrilege

Webb: it's all happened just like we all said we would it's a total disaster Congress has take over

Russert: yur trying to take Bush's pet war away from him aren't you - you heartless bastard

Webb: no way we're trying to impose some rational limits on Commander Crazy Person

Russert: Republicans are fleeing this war

Lindsay: i have personally declared our old strategy of hiding behind walls over our new strategy of hiding behind tanks is much better

Russert: excellent

Lindsay: this is a gigantic struggle it’s really World War Three the muslims wants to create a Caliphate from Baghdad to Nashville we must wipe out extremism by killing as many people as possible

Russert: what medications are you on dood cause i wants some

Webb: look i used to be Undersecretary of Defense- they have no strategy - what ever you want to do - even if you want to stay you have to be sensible

Russert: proxy war with Iran?

Webb: jesus the stupid is really up and in us this morning Iraq is a recruiting tool for al qaeda and no we are not in a fucking proxy war with iran

Russert: you really love killing don't you Lindsey

Graham: hey war sucks but i am not going to sit here and listen to you bad-mouth the troops of America

Russert: oh noes he’s got u there Webby

Linsdey: how dare people politicize a war Caesar Petraeus is America's Dictator is he wants to wear a purple robe that's his business

Graham: i'm buying a summer home in Al Anbar it rulz

Russert: i'll stay with Nantucket

Graham: number one enemy is al qaeda in Iraq they came to our 51st state Iraq because they hate America and McDonalds

Russert: what's Ramadi like

Graham: Petreaus moved in with an Iraqi family it's fun

Russert: excellent

Graham: Smash! Kill!

Webb: the loons like Graham are completely out of touch thankfully even most Republicans understand we have to face reality

Russert: is this World War Three

Webb: Al Qaeda doesn't hate democracy there is no democracy in Iraq for god’s sake they came to Iraq because they Americans are there

Russert: but Lieberman sez this war is so much fun

Webb: fuck him he thinks 500,000 American troops should occupy all of the middle east

Lindsay: god bless the troops Jim Webb why do you hate God and America ???

Webb: oh fuck you

Linsday: have you ever talked to soldiers they all love George W. Bush and Republicans

Webb: they polled the soldiers and they don't actually like Bush

Graham: oh screw em then

Webb: my family has served since 1776 and we don't even ask why anymore

Graham: God Bless God and the Lord and Jesus and this Glorious Christian Crusade


Murphy: McCain is going to run what we in the business call a "low budget campaign"

Novak: Romney 1.0, Muskie, all these losers i've seen them all McCain is just another one

Russert: Al you're older than Novak what do u think

Hunt: McCain’s a young whippersnapper but it's very sad he’s a real hero

Shrum: he tried to run as Bush that's a bad idea

Murphy: it's still early he could be a loser for several months

Novak: doods he is hated on every issue - global warming, stem cells, dammitt he wants to crack down on roaming Vampires - we can't have that!!

Murhphy: people are stupid so McCain could still win

Russert: Rudy is a cross-dressing liberal and hated by NYC firefighters

Firefighter: Rudy took away our radios and more than 100 soldiers were killed

Russert: let me here quote Rudy saying he only killed those firefighters because they were communists

Shurm: he's got the reverse midas touch he only hires criminals and perverts sure that works in NYC and Florida but not in Iowa

Novak: dood let me clue you in - "swift boating" works

Hunt: Rudy can take a punch - i know i asked his ex-wives

Murphy: he's going to run promising a new 9/11 every year he is president people may not want that

Russert: let me report on the covers of Newsweek and Time as it that were news in and of itself its all very meta cocktail party shit

Shrum: Bill and Hillary are all about nostalgia and Obama is real change

Murphy: If someone asked Robert Redford if he wanted to make a movie with Brad Pitt he would say no

Russert: stupid he did it was called "Spy Game"

Murphy: oh

Novak: [puts down glass of fresh blood] the people like Bill Clinton put alot of people also hate him

Russert: like who hates him??

Novak: me and all my vampire friends

Hunt: i think hillary is doing pretty well she is the front runner - except Obama is this crazy phenomenon i don't know what's going on i reminds me of when i fought in Gettysburg

Russert: dood why do they call you teh Prince of Darkness

Novak: back in the 1950s I went on a killing spree in Washington

Russert: one of the first serial killers

Novak: right

Russert: Rove confirmed Armitage's leak

Novak: plus the PR guy at the CIA said yeah she worked there

Russert: are you a traitor to America

Novak: if anyone was killed because of what i said i don't know but look Bush said it was ok so whatever

Russert: bush covered this up

Novak: no Armitage was the fall guy so why didn't Fitz charge anyone

Russert: where i come from we fight over women in DC people got drunk and fight over tax policy

Novak: dood you are from Washington get real

Russert: you used Eagleton to smear McGovern

Shurm: what a trainwreck that guy was let tell you I'm still glad i was on McGovern's side we lost but at least we didn't go to prison like Watergate aides

Russert: you identified your confidential sources because they are dead

Novak: we can argue about it in heaven

Russert: dood i hate to break it to you but aren't going to heaven


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