Guests:
Jon
Karl
Gen.
John Allen (Ret.)
Ted
Cruz (R-TX)
Nasser
Judeh – Foreign Minister of Jordan
Liz
Spayd – Columbia Journalism Review
David
Folkenflik – NPR
Mark
Halperin
Jon
Heileman
Kristen
Soltis
Anderson
Van
Jones
Raddatz:
ISIS may have gone too far
in
burning a Jordanian pilot alive
Allen:
this will unify our coalition!
Raddatz:
did it backfire on ISIS
Allen:
you're darn right it did
Raddatz:
in retaliation Jordan immediately
executed
two prisoners and scrambled the
jets
and bombed the living shit out of ISIS
Allen:
it galvanized the coalition!
Raddatz:
are you destroying ISIS?
Allen:
we pushed them out of Kobani!
Raddatz:
Syria is a breeding
ground of terrorism
Allen:
like America and the measles
Raddatz:
have we trained the Iraqi troops yet?
Allen:
no we're still teaching
them
them to shoot and stuff
Raddatz:
has ISIS adapted?
Allen:
yeah they don't drive in convoys
flying
that stupid black flag any more
Raddatz:
do they pose a threat
to the homeland?
Allen:
they just might
Raddatz:
eek!
Stephanopoulos:
do you know anything
about
the American hostage?
Judeh:
no and why don't you
ask American officials?
Stephanopoulos:
is ISIS on the run?
Judeh:
yes definitely
Stephanopoulos:
oh
good
Judeh:
but they still have millions
of
dollars and lots big
weapons
Stephanopoulos:
oh that's
not as good
Judeh:
it will take years to defeat
them if we ever do
Biden:
we don't want war
in Ukraine
but
don't push us – Russia's invasion
is
a big fucking deal!
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
good morning Ted
Cruz:
good morning –
I'm
at a peace conference in Munich
Stephanopoulos:
those
always go well
Cruz:
we need to send weapons to Ukraine!
Stephanopoulos:
go on
Cruz:
we have a treaty obligation
to
send them guns!
Stephanopoulos:
you're a big
supporter
of
American treaty obligations I'm sure
Cruz:
sometimes
Stephanopoulos:
you want to
bomb
ISIS back to the stone age
Cruz:
yes – that's where
my best
ideas come from anyway
Stephanopoulos:
do you want to
send
U.S. troops to defeat ISIS?
Cruz:
no I don't support
U.S.
boots
on the ground
Stephanopoulos:
oh no?
Cruz:
no we need send guns
to
the Kurds – those bastards can fight
Stephanopoulos:
you suddenly
sound
like a dove
Cruz:
let's arm the peshmerga!
Stephanopoulos:
okay then
Cruz:
Obama leads from behind –
I
want the peshmerga to lead!
Stephanopoulos:
ISIS is about to
attack
America and Speaker Boehner
says
Homeland Security isn't funded
and
it's all your
fault
Cruz:
no I fought against the Cromnibus
Stephanopoulos:
you did?
Cruz:
yes it's all Boehner's fault
and
also he's
a poopyhead
Stephanopoulos:
is he really?
Cruz:
Democrats are filibustering
Homeland
Security money!
Stephanopoulos:
wow
Cruz:
illegals are killing America!
Stephanopoulos:
Hillary will argue
that
Republicans keep wrecking
the
economy and Democrats keep fixing it
Cruz:
Obama hates millionaires
and billionaires
but also they've
gotten fat
and happy under
Democratic crony
capitalism
Stephanopoulos:
that makes sense I
think
Cruz:
we are for the poor and not the rich!
Stephanopoulos:
is Jeb Bush
a squish in
the mushy middle?
Cruz:
yes he doesn't want to
deport 10 million illegals
Stephanopoulos:
got it
Cruz:
we need a leader who
will
argue for the poor and civil rights!
Stephanopoulos:
right
Cruz:
I have a dream!
Power to the people!
Stephanopoulos:
thanks for coming
Ted
Cruz:
Workers of the world
unite!
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
Brian Williams was
suspended
for saying he was hit by
a
rocket instead of bullets
Williams:
I was hit by an RPG and a
hero
soldier saved my life
Soldier:
dude no way that happened
Williams:
okay maybe not
Twitter:
hashtag BrianWilliamsWas
NotThe13thApostle
Williams:
but Hurricane Katrina I
almost died and was saved by a
heroic soldier making kind of heroic
too
Witness:
no that never happened either
Williams:
damn I suck a reporting facts
– oh well
Stephanopoulos:
should he
be suspended?
Spayd:
NBC needs to investigate
their
star anchor and declare him adorable
Stephanopoulos:
NBC knew he
was a
serial fabulist
Folkenflik:
Rather was fired not
for
his mistakes but for
defending himself
Stephanopoulos:
just like
politicians
Folkenflik:
exactly
Stephanopoulos:
his exaggerations
were
not
on his show but on places like Letterman
Spayd:
that's worse because Williams
is
an unctuous preening
egotistical
star
with a cult of personality
Folkenflik:
no one trusts NBC to
discipline
their avuncular
pretentious
fame whore
Stephanopoulos:
perhaps not
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
Hillary is the big
front
runner
but she was last time too
Clinton
2008: it will be over by super Tuesday!
Clinton
2016: I had no strategy!
Karl:
what do you mean?
Clinton:
I realize now I have
to
earn your support
Karl:
gender will be front and center this
time
Clinton:
I have that high-pro
grandmother glow
Karl:
but can she relate to the middle class?
Clinton:
I think I can – what
is middle class?
Karl:
here's a sign
she wants to win
– she's
trying to be like Obama
Halperin:
these Obama staffers know how to win!
Heileman:
it would help her if someone
tested
her in debates of some kind
Stephanopoulos:
this time
she's
playing up gender
Soltis
Anderson: remember
when
Obama
said “you're likeable enough Hillary”
Stephanopoulos:
no because it didn't
happen
Anderson:
whatever
Stephanopoulos:
what if Hillary
stumbles?!?
Van
Jones: there is thunder on the
left
for action on income
inequality
Stephanopoulos:
hell even Ted
Cruz
these
days is sounding
like Karl Marx
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