Guests:
Martha
Raddatz
Pierre
Thomas
Jeh
Johnson – Sec. of Homeland Security
Sen.
Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Rep.
Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Bill
Kristol
Joe
Klein
Stephanopoulos:
OMG there is a
new
terror threat on the homeland!!
Thomas:
al-Shabbab
put out a video saying
they
were going to attack the Mall of America!
Stephanopoulos:
they hate us
for
our cinnabons
Thomas:
Mall security says
they
on top of the situation
Stephanopoulos:
problem solved
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
welcome Jeh
Johnson:
good morning George
Stephanopoulos:
Jeh this is threat
to
attack a mall is
terrifying
Johnson:
we are threatened by
al-qaeda,
ISIS, ISIL, AQAP,
AQIM,
ASAP and al-shabbab
Stephanopoulos:
holy fucking shit
Johnson:
we're in a new
phase
of fear and terror
Stephanopoulos:
home many
terrorists
are in Minneapolis?
Johnson:
we're doing a pretty
good
job tracking them
Stephanopoulos:
pretty good?
Johnson:
we're doing our best Steph
Stephanopoulos:
Lindsay Graham
says
we are about to be attacked
and it
will be all Obama's fault
Johnson:
he wasn't President on 9/11
Stephanopoulos:
maybe not
Johnson:
terrorists use the Internet
now
Stephanopoulos:
oh man we're fucked
Johnson:
no one knows how
that
online machine works
Stephanopoulos:
President Obama
only
wears one flag pin and won't
say
'islamic
terrorism'
Johnson:
ISIL has hijacked Islam
Stephanopoulos:
bastards
Johnson:
if we say they are real
muslims
we are dignifying
them
and
giving them what they want
Stephanopoulos:
what happens if
Congress
keeps up their temper tantrum
and
defunds homeland
security?
Johnson:
we may all be killed by terrorists
Stephanopoulos:
so there's a
downside
Johnson:
also it's snowing
out
so we need funding
Stephanopoulos:
thanks for coming
Jeh
[
break ]
Raddatz:
why would anyone join ISIS?
Expert:
whether or not to join a fanatical
medieval
death cult is one of the most
important
decisions a teenager can make
Raddatz:
it's not just young men
– schoolgirls
are joining too
Expert:
this is not what
we
meant by leaning in
Raddatz:
150 Americans have
tried to join ISIS!
Teen:
life in America sucked so
I'm
going to die in a war zone!
Expert:
everyone hates high school you idiot
Raddatz:
why are so many kids joining ISIS?
Expert:
in Europe but not America!
Raddatz:
because of assimilation?
Expert:
right
Muslim-AmericanBoy
Scout:
we know what
Islam really is
- fuck ISIS!
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
Congressman
how
can we stop an attack
on
the Mall of America?
Ellison:
we tell young people you
can
get involved in America and
improve
it or
suffer and die
alone and
abandoned
in a desert for a false cause
Stephanopoulos:
you make a
persuasive case
Stephanopoulos:
how did ISIS
outflank us?
Havlicek:
they've been persuading
young
people for 25 years and we've
been
offering them debt and jobs at McDonalds
Stephanopoulos:
good point
Havlicek:
ISIS does great public relations
– they
do Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat
Stephanopoulos:
not Instagram?
Havlicek:
no that's for old people
Stephanopoulos:
how can we
normal
Americans
partner with Muslims?
Ellison:
reach out and say
hey
you're
muslim but you will be
welcomed
in America too
Stephanopoulos:
so we should lie
Ellison: right
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
omg Rudy Giuliani
said
Obama doesn't love America
but said
he's not racist
because
has a white momma
Stephanopoulos:
Jeb Bush says
he's
his own man but has hired the
idiots
who advised his brother to
start
a war in the middle east
Graham:
morning George
Stephanopoulos:
do you really
believe
there is a chance you can
be
the GOP nominee for President?
Graham:
I can bash
Obama
with the best of them
with the best of them
Stephanopoulos:
was Rudy right to
say
Obama hates America because
he's
a communist anti-colonialist?
Graham:
Obama won't defend
America
from all these attacks
Stephanopoulos:
what attacks?
Graham:
like 9/11
Stephanopoulos:
how should
Obama
defend America?
Graham:
invade and occupy
Iraq and Syria
Stephanopoulos:
are you serious?
Graham:
hells bells yes –
we must send
more
U.S. troops to the
middle east
– that
will fix everything
Stephanopoulos:
fix what?
Graham:
all the chaos from
we caused when
we invaded
the first time
the first time
Stephanopoulos:
how many troops
should we send?
should we send?
Graham:
tens of thousands
Stephanopoulos: really?
Graham: my stars yes
Stephanopoulos: really?
Graham: my stars yes
Stephanopoulos:
what about
funding
Homeland Security?
Graham:
Obama's immigration
order
was illegal!
Stephanopoulos:
okay but is that
enough
of a reason to defund the agency?
Graham:
we must fund DHS –
there
are many threats to the homeland
Stephanopoulos:
all right
Graham:
look if we don't fund
it the
people
will blame the Republican party
Stephanopoulos:
can't imagine why
Graham:
the American people
are
about
to be killed by terrorists
because
of Obama!
Stephanopoulos:
the people of
South
Carolina know you best and
even
they don't want you
to run for President
Graham:
they won't say that
when
they're all killed by terrorists
Stephanopoulos:
that is something
to look forward too
to look forward too
Graham:
radical
islam is a thousand
years
old and they will
come here
and
kill every Christian
unless I stop them
Stephanopoulos:
thanks for coming
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
Rudy Giuliani
said
Obama hates America!
Kristol
[ grinning ]: he's just having fun
Klein:
voters don't like angry
people
and Republicans
sound really angry lately
Kristol: how you would feel if
you lost two national elections
to a black guy named Hussein
sound really angry lately
Kristol: how you would feel if
you lost two national elections
to a black guy named Hussein
Stephanopoulos:
there is a double
standard -
Democrats are never asked why
Rudy Giuliani is a huge racist
Democrats are never asked why
Rudy Giuliani is a huge racist
Ellison:
what bullshit George –
the
double standard is with you
and
your obsession with flag pins
for Democrats
for Democrats
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