Guests:
Richard
Engel
Sen.
John McCain (R-AZ)
Sen.
Jack Reed (D-RI)
Joe
Scarborough
Tom
Brokaw
Robert
McDonald
– Sec. of Veterans Affairs
April
Ryan
David
Axelrod
Kathleen
Parker
Dana
Carvey
Todd:
OMG there was another
terror
attack this time in Copenhagen
Engel:
Danish officials say
this
was a terror attack
Todd:
well no shit
Engel:
this was a mini Charlie Hebdo
Todd:
I like a mini-danish
Engel:
there was a free speech
event
at a cafe with a cartoonist
and
this brave soul shot at the
windows
and then ran away
Todd:
coward
Engel:
then he killed a guard at a synagogue
Todd:
bastard
Todd:
so Richard what did
you
see in your recent visit to Iraq
Engel:
I was incredibly depressed actually
Todd:
well it's Iraq what did you expect
Engel:
no I was sad about
Beth
and Tyrese on The Walking Dead
Todd:
life goes on Richard
Engel:
I know
Todd:
what's wrong with Iraq
Engel:
it's a total basket case –
it's
like Washington D.C. with slightly
fewer
murders and a little more dysfunction
Todd:
that is bad
Engel:
but we need to discuss
bigger
issues – independence for the Kurds
and
the role of Hezbollah and if while
covering
the war Brian Williams
really
fought off an attack from Bigfoot
Todd:
those are all good questions
Engel:
the Iraqi army is pathetic –
I
haven't seen a team of losers this
bad
since I caught this Knicks at the Garden
Todd:
whoa that is bad
Engel:
everything is Iraq is terrible
Todd:
truly the gift that keeps on giving
[
break ]
Todd:
welcome Senator McCain
McCain:
hi David
Todd:
why do we need a
new
authorization to use
force
in the middle east
McCain:
we don't
Todd:
so why is Congress
voting
for a new war then?
McCain:
it's been a few years since
we
authorized a new war and there's
never
a bad time for a new war I say
Todd:
so you agree with Obama
McCain:
the President won't
declare
war against Bashir Assad
which
is crazy
Todd:
oh really
McCain:
it's an uncertain trumpet!
Todd:
don't try eloquence
grampa
- it's not your thing
McCain:
grrrr!
Todd:
Beth get him
some
pudding
McCain:
oooh
Todd:
will you call for more authority?
McCain:
we should not restrain
the
President – we must unleash Obama!
Obama:
you go John
Todd:
Richard Engel says the Iraqi
government
is a shambles oh and
also
so is the rest of the Middle East
McCain:
the surge worked!
Todd:
we alll know you
love
the surge old man
McCain:
Iraq was fine and a
paradise
and fell apart as
soon
as U.S. troops left
Todd:
that doesn't make sense
McCain:
the President invents straw men
– we
can have a massive ground invasion
without
lots of troops
Todd:
good to know
McCain:
we must rebuild the Iraqi military!
Todd:
well the invasion was
ten
years ago so why not
McCain:
arm the Peshmerga!
Todd:
any other ideas?
McCain:
we must start
a
war with Syria!
Todd:
should the GOP hold
Homeland
Security funding hostage
over
their immigration temper tantrum
McCain:
no it's fucking insane
Todd:
thanks for coming
McCain:
you're welcome Ned
[
break ]
Todd:
are we at war with Syria or not?
Reed:
look we have a big Arabic
coalition
against ISIS
Todd:
okay fine you get
rid
of ISIS – big deal
Reed:
it actually would be Todd
Todd:
but we're neither allied with
Syria
nor at war with them
– its
very confusing
Reed:
does it have to be one or the other?
Todd:
oh yeah
Reed:
I see
Todd:
what about the three-year
limit
on the President's authority?
Reed:
it's a bad idea since we can't
send
a signal to the world that we
might
ever leave the middle east
Todd:
why is this our fight?
Reed:
well where else should we fight a war?
Todd:
no I mean why fight a war at all?
Reed:
I don't follow
Todd:
what's our interest in fighting ISIS?
Reed:
it became our fight
when
we invaded Iraq
Todd:
armed teens from America
have
to put the middle east back together?
Reed:
yes or radicalized terrorists
will
leave the middle east and attack
us
here unless we permanently pacify
the
whole region until they love us
or
are imprisoned there
Todd:
you also want America
in
a war with Russia
Reed:
no I just want America a little
bit
involved on behalf of Ukraine
Todd:
just sort-of at war with Russia
Reed:
yes also if we will send guns
to
Ukraine it will send a message
to
Estonia that we like them
Todd:
why not use instagram?
Reed:
I'll consider that
[
break ]
Todd:
Scarborough:
Republicans blame Democrats
for
leaving Iraq and Democrats blame
Republicans
for invading Iraq
Todd:
sounds about right
Scarborough:
the American people
are
sick of being told American teens
with
guns have to fix the whole middle east
Todd:
it's ironic that Obama is
starting
a new war in the middle east
Ryan:
he wants to leave the middle east
but
a telegenic American there was
killed
so of course it's more war
Todd:
Obama's war resolution named
all
the Americans killed by ISIS –
seems
like a thin reason to start a war
Axelrod:
this can't be all-American war
Todd:
so we have to invade the
middle
east to make it stable
which
is in chaos because we
invaded
the middle east
Axelrod:
to give Obama credit he
promised
to get us out of Iraq and
for
better or worse he did
Parker:
we all believed in the Iraq war
at
the time and Bush is very heroic and
Obama
is very grateful to Bush for
all
the gifts Bush gave him
Obama:
the fuck I am
[
break ]
Todd:
omg Huckabee is leading in Iowa!
Todd:
and in New Hampshire
it's
Bush and Christie
Todd:
in fact there are seven
different
GOP front-runners
Todd:
the four leaders are Bush and
Walker
and Huckabee and Paul
Todd:
oh and Clinton is blowing
away
the Democratic field
Todd:
so panelists it looks
like
the leaders are Bush and Walker
Parker:
I'm amazed
Bush
is doing so well
Todd:
really?
Parker:
Huckabee is insane
so
I don't see him winning
Todd:
okay what about Paul?
Scar:
don't count out Chris Christie!
Todd:
I can and I do
Scarborough:
Scott Walker
ticks
off the boxes although
he
looks like a office manager
at
Dunder Mifflin
Todd:
Clinton is going to be the nominee
Ryan:
Democrats need to find a rock star
Todd:
isn't that Hillary?
Ryan:
yes but anything can happen
Todd:
is Walker for real?
Axelrod:
running for President
has
a high bar and it's an open
question
for Scott Walker
– Bush
will give him a tough run!
Scarborough:
Walker has been
through
three tough elections
– don't
count him out!
[
break ]
Todd:
Tom Brokaw is investigating
homeless
veterans in Los Angeles
Brokaw:
the government built a
nice
VA facility in Los Angeles then
leased
it to private business because
it
was too valuable to be wasted on
a
bunch of war heroes
Lawyer:
the politicians are all hypocrites!
Brokaw:
were you surprised people
didn't
want homeless veterans
in
their neighborhood?
Shriver:
yes but I'm naive
Brokaw:
but then the VA reached
an
agreement to end homelessness in LA
Todd:
why did it take a lawsuit to
address
homeless vets in LA?
McDonald:
I don't know since it
predates
my tenure – back then
I
was CEO of P&G
Todd:
fair enough
McDonald:
but I'm friends of the
Shrivers
so we made it happen
Todd:
well that's good I guess
McDonald:
we are moving forward
but
we have to make sure the buildings
won't
fall down in an earthquake
Todd:
so they live in tents
McDonald:
for now
Todd:
how is the VA call center
– does
it still suck?
MacDonald:
900 people have been fired
Todd:
wow
McDonald:
the GAO says the
VA
is still a hot mess
Todd:
it is but we're getting better
McDonald:
well okay
MacDonald:
we provide health care
– this
is an emergency!
Todd:
do you have any good news?
MacDonald:
homelessness is down 33%
Todd:
a Republican politician accused
you
of glossing over problems at the VA
McDonald:
I ran a big company sir
– what
have you done?!?
Coffman:
I never killed people like you did!
McDonald:
oh really?
Coffman:
except for that one
guy
but that just to watch him die
Todd:
was that an appropriate
conversation
at a Capitol Hill hearing?
McDonald:
look we all are for veterans
Todd:
you thought he was being unfair
McDonald:
we're making progress
and
he's been in government
longer
than I have
Todd:
can you run an
agency
like a business?
McDonald:
we can try
Todd:
you're determined to
apply
P&G practices at the VA
McDonald:
more or less
Todd:
what else do we need to know?
McDonald:
at the VA we're
the
canary in the coal mine
Todd:
those canaries always die
McDonald:
true
[
break ]
Todd:
did you know there are 150
counties
named after Presidents and
many
of them were not criminals
Todd:
if you've been watching NBC
at
all you know we've been promoting
the
hell out of this 40th anniversary of SNL
Todd:
but my favorite part of SNL
has
always been their skewering Presidents
Todd:
you took your Bush
character
to a new level
Carvey:
being the President on SNL
is
very cool but it took me a while
to
get the Bush impression down
Todd:
in real life Bush ever only
used
the word “prudent” once
Carvey:
yeah but it just fit so well
Todd:
after he lost George Bush
invited
you to the White House to
play
pranks on people
Carvey:
yeah and I slept over at the
White
House and everything – it was great
Todd:
was Perot easy to do?
Carvey:
yeah he was a fully formed character
Todd:
he's like a living caricature
Carvey:
can I finish?! CAN I FINISH?!
Todd:
Bush liked your impression
of
him – what did Perot think?
Carvey:
yeah he even invited me
to
hang out with him on election night in 1992
Todd:
what about the 2016 elections
– anyone
jump out at you?
Carvey:
actually I'm working
on
an impression of you
Todd:
omg
Todd:
panel liberals are in
mourning
at losing Jon Stewart
Axelrod:
well he's the best
Todd:
satire is owned by liberals
while
conservatives have radio
Axelrod:
it's always been that way
– Will
Rogers was a Democrat and
Father
Coughlin was a tea partier
Scarborough:
it's conservative
because
business people listen to the radio
Axelrod:
oh right
Scarborough:
and conservatives
aren't
allowed in entertainment
because
Hollywood is all liberal
Todd:
oh come on that's your excuse
Scarborough:
although I have to admit
Jon
Stewart did go after Obama calling
him
an emperor and on BENGHAZI
Parker:
liberals put funny first and
conservatives
policy first
Todd:
and that's another
episode
of Meet The Press
1 comment:
I'm glad you watched it for me.
~
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