Meet The Press - March 6, 2011

Guests:
Bill Daley - White House Chief of Staff
Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-WI)
David Brooks
Eugene Robinson
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Gregory: Unemployment is under 9%
but the gas is still too damm high!

Audience: hells yeah!

Gregory: We have Chief of Staff Bill Daley who
brings his JP Morgan savvy and familial birthright wisdom to our show

Daley: thanks Fluffy

Gregory: gas is expensive - what the fuck!

Daley: that is true

Gregory: there is a glut of oil

Daley: do you know what glut means

Gregory: no

Daley: the average American is feeling it

Gregory: it’s on!

Daley: Obama has a solution to our energy
crisis in two words

Gregory: wow - what are they?

Daley: tiger blood

Gregory: can we arrest the Spike?

Daley: I don’t think you can arrest a network for showing repeatedly airing Star Wars:
The Phantom Menace

Gregory: well that is a shame

Gregory: Can we rid of Ghadaffi?

Daley: Obama was very aggressive -
he’s a fucking POTUS on ‘roids!

Gregory: but Muammar still there

Daley: we’re working with the international
community to stop him

Gregory: it sounds like the administration is divided
- Gates doesn’t want to attack Libya and
neither does Obama

Daley: so not divided at all then

Gregory: well you put it that way

Daley: do you even speak English bubble boy?

Gregory: what?

Daley: English motherfucker do you speak it?

Gregory: it still seems opaque to me

Daley: get a load of the big brain on Fluffy!

Gregory: Does the President understand the
Middle East as well I do?

Daley: Obama has more original thoughts before breakfast than you do all damm day

Gregory: when you talk to John McCain all the time you start to feel brilliant by comparison

Daley: Look Obama just wants a democratic regime not supported by armed crazy people

Gregory: why does Obama hate Arizona?

Daley: chortle

Gregory: so we’re still killing innocent civilians
in Afghanistan

Daley: we all feel very about that

Gregory: it sound like a bit of problem

Daley: no one feels worse that the people
doing the killing and also to a lesser extent the people being killed

Gregory: the American people were polled and they care about unemployment not the debt

Daley: right so Obama is focused on cutting spending and the deficit

Gregory: you’re going to shut the government down because both sides use fuzzy math

Daley: not true

Gregory: that is true and you know it

Daley: we have a solution to our impasse with Congress

Gregory: what’s that

Daley: send Joe Biden to Capitol Hill until
they give in

Gregory: Is Boehner helpless in the face of tea party demands

Daley: clearly he is weak and stupid

Gregory: I will be speaking to Michelle Bachmann later

Daley: oh that should be loads of fun

Gregory: Boehner is determined to cut Social Security so will Obama please cut it please

Daley: I heard your were a Social Security-cut-demanding-moron

Gregory: You’re all demagogues and refuse to cut Social Security like I want

Daley: you’re a silly person

Gregory: and you’re a crook worked for JP Morgan

Daley: touché

Gregory: Hollywood thinks maybe one white collar criminal should have gone to jail in the biggest
fraud of all time

Daley: that may very well be but
let’s not rush it

Gregory: you make a good deal of sense privileged bald white man

Daley: Obama fought the crooks and got the financial reform law enacted

Gregory: How do you know?

Daley: I was one of them Greggers!

Gregory: Is Obama moving to the center to get re-elected?

Daley: Obama didn’t want to take over the auto industry but as usual the gifted black man had to clean up the white man’s mess

Gregory: is this a center-left country?

Daley: It’s truly a land of opportunity where the son of a famous mayor can grow up to work on Wall Street and pontificate on whether the son of Governor can grow up to be President

Gregory: Let’s continue my endlessly silly obsession with Ambassador Huntsman

Daley: Idiot

Gregory: speaking of Mr. Fabulous

Daley: who?

Gregory: Mitt Romeny

Daley: LOL

Gregory: what number should unemployment be
for Obama to be re-elected?

Daley: jesus I thought I was a shallow person
until I met you

Gregory: thanks

[ break ]

Gregory: Welcome Michelle Bachmann - will there be a government shutdown

Bachmann: Obama hid 100 billion in the
Obamacare law!!

Gregory: where was it hidden?

Bachmann: in the law!

Gregory: the one Congress read and passed?

Bachmann: Exactly!

Gregory: Didn’t Obama make a big concession
on letting the states opt-out of elements of the
health care reform law?

Bachmann: that proves he’s a Fasicst-Marxist-Socialist!

Gregory: I see

Bachmann: It’s a crime against democracy!

Gregory: ok ok - so will shut the government down?

Bachmann: Nancy Pelosi stole $100 billion - you can’t slip that in secretly in legislation that Congress never reads but enacts

Gregory: about the upcoming budget-

Bachmann: Members of Congress didn’t read the bill until we enacted it - I want that money back!!

Gregory: thanks for sharing that bit of insanity

Bachmann: Thieves! Socialists! Commies!

Gregory: has John Boehner betrayed the Tea Party?

Bachmann: Obama stole $100 billion!

Gregory: so are literally insane or how does it work?

Bachmann: Obama deceptively stole $100 billion!

Gregory: um, Betsy are her doctors in the
green room?

Producer: they ran away David

Gregory: jesus christ

Bachmann: $100 billion $100 billion $100 billion

Gregory: will the Tea Party destroy the GOP?

Bachmann: Democrats are terrified of the tea party because we’re not Republicans

Gregory: ok

Bachmann: we just want all the branches of government to service white weirdos

Gregory: right

Bachmann: America is doomed!

Gregory: why is that?

Bachmann: America is in grave danger because of the debt that Reagan, Bush I, and Bush II did not build up at all

Gregory: What about Obama’s foreign policy?

Bachmann: he’s weak because we haven’t
attacked Libya

Gregory: so you want to invade Libya

Bachmann: no Obama is irresponsible for even considering that

Gregory: Do you think a lunatic like you can be elected President

Bachmann: Look at lack of job creation and out
of control spending

Gregory: you’re running against George W. Bush?

Bachmann: Obama doesn’t have true
American values

Gregory: you call him a gangster government

Bachmann: absolutely

Gregory: is he anti-American?

Bachmann: well he’s got a real funny name

Gregory: thanks for sharing your inane rantings Congresswoman

Bachmann: arble warble woooooo

[ break ]

Gregory: Polls show that people still believe in
big government

Brooks: this proves that people want small government

Gregory: How can you can I explain to the American people that we must cut Social Security

Brooks: we must use pie charts and sternly lecture the American people

Gregory: but Obama won’t Social Security!

Brooks: yes but he looks weak because he refuses to cut Social Security

Robinson: I can’t help notice the poll you used cited concerns about job creation and government and not cuts and the debt

Gregory: that’s so sad

Brooks: we need to transfer money from the
old to the young

Gregory: we’re in an opaque zone with Ghadaffi

Robinson: do we want American boots on the ground?

Gregory: maybe just the boots without any soldiers in them

Brooks: good idea

Gregory: we’re hypocrites with regard to Sunni dictatorships!

Brooks: we need to attack every dictator in the middle east

Gregory: really?

Brooks: we must remove Ghadaffi

Robinson: you think the Saudis would like that?

Brooks: We should at least talk tough even if we don’t actually do anything

Gregory: David do you have any criticisms of Obama?

Brooks: he talks tough but doesn’t actually do anything

Gregory: Obama beats unnamed GOP candidate
in 2012!

Brooks: Mitch Daniels is my dream candidate

Robinson: dear god

Brooks: also Chris Christie

Robinson: *snort*

Gregory: so which GOP candidate do you like Eugene?

Robinson: um no one

Gregory: is Romneycare an albatross?

Romney: no no no my version of Obamacare was a state mandatory health care plan so it was totally different - I would never impose my good ideas on other American people

Brooks: ok that’s just stupid

Gregory: can he talk about jobs instead?

Brooks: no because the cost of health care will still be an issue in 11 months

Gregory: how can Obama possibly hope to defeat Michelle Bachmann?

Robinson: he has to say when you have a coherent thought I’d love to hear it

Gregory: that just might work
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