Sunday, March 06, 2011

Meet The Press - March 6, 2011

Bill Daley - White House Chief of Staff
Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-WI)
David Brooks
Eugene Robinson

Gregory: Unemployment is under 9%
but the gas is still too damm high!

Audience: hells yeah!

Gregory: We have Chief of Staff Bill Daley who
brings his JP Morgan savvy and familial birthright wisdom to our show

Daley: thanks Fluffy

Gregory: gas is expensive - what the fuck!

Daley: that is true

Gregory: there is a glut of oil

Daley: do you know what glut means

Gregory: no

Daley: the average American is feeling it

Gregory: it’s on!

Daley: Obama has a solution to our energy
crisis in two words

Gregory: wow - what are they?

Daley: tiger blood

Gregory: can we arrest the Spike?

Daley: I don’t think you can arrest a network for showing repeatedly airing Star Wars:
The Phantom Menace

Gregory: well that is a shame

Gregory: Can we rid of Ghadaffi?

Daley: Obama was very aggressive -
he’s a fucking POTUS on ‘roids!

Gregory: but Muammar still there

Daley: we’re working with the international
community to stop him

Gregory: it sounds like the administration is divided
- Gates doesn’t want to attack Libya and
neither does Obama

Daley: so not divided at all then

Gregory: well you put it that way

Daley: do you even speak English bubble boy?

Gregory: what?

Daley: English motherfucker do you speak it?

Gregory: it still seems opaque to me

Daley: get a load of the big brain on Fluffy!

Gregory: Does the President understand the
Middle East as well I do?

Daley: Obama has more original thoughts before breakfast than you do all damm day

Gregory: when you talk to John McCain all the time you start to feel brilliant by comparison

Daley: Look Obama just wants a democratic regime not supported by armed crazy people

Gregory: why does Obama hate Arizona?

Daley: chortle

Gregory: so we’re still killing innocent civilians
in Afghanistan

Daley: we all feel very about that

Gregory: it sound like a bit of problem

Daley: no one feels worse that the people
doing the killing and also to a lesser extent the people being killed

Gregory: the American people were polled and they care about unemployment not the debt

Daley: right so Obama is focused on cutting spending and the deficit

Gregory: you’re going to shut the government down because both sides use fuzzy math

Daley: not true

Gregory: that is true and you know it

Daley: we have a solution to our impasse with Congress

Gregory: what’s that

Daley: send Joe Biden to Capitol Hill until
they give in

Gregory: Is Boehner helpless in the face of tea party demands

Daley: clearly he is weak and stupid

Gregory: I will be speaking to Michelle Bachmann later

Daley: oh that should be loads of fun

Gregory: Boehner is determined to cut Social Security so will Obama please cut it please

Daley: I heard your were a Social Security-cut-demanding-moron

Gregory: You’re all demagogues and refuse to cut Social Security like I want

Daley: you’re a silly person

Gregory: and you’re a crook worked for JP Morgan

Daley: touché

Gregory: Hollywood thinks maybe one white collar criminal should have gone to jail in the biggest
fraud of all time

Daley: that may very well be but
let’s not rush it

Gregory: you make a good deal of sense privileged bald white man

Daley: Obama fought the crooks and got the financial reform law enacted

Gregory: How do you know?

Daley: I was one of them Greggers!

Gregory: Is Obama moving to the center to get re-elected?

Daley: Obama didn’t want to take over the auto industry but as usual the gifted black man had to clean up the white man’s mess

Gregory: is this a center-left country?

Daley: It’s truly a land of opportunity where the son of a famous mayor can grow up to work on Wall Street and pontificate on whether the son of Governor can grow up to be President

Gregory: Let’s continue my endlessly silly obsession with Ambassador Huntsman

Daley: Idiot

Gregory: speaking of Mr. Fabulous

Daley: who?

Gregory: Mitt Romeny

Daley: LOL

Gregory: what number should unemployment be
for Obama to be re-elected?

Daley: jesus I thought I was a shallow person
until I met you

Gregory: thanks

[ break ]

Gregory: Welcome Michelle Bachmann - will there be a government shutdown

Bachmann: Obama hid 100 billion in the
Obamacare law!!

Gregory: where was it hidden?

Bachmann: in the law!

Gregory: the one Congress read and passed?

Bachmann: Exactly!

Gregory: Didn’t Obama make a big concession
on letting the states opt-out of elements of the
health care reform law?

Bachmann: that proves he’s a Fasicst-Marxist-Socialist!

Gregory: I see

Bachmann: It’s a crime against democracy!

Gregory: ok ok - so will shut the government down?

Bachmann: Nancy Pelosi stole $100 billion - you can’t slip that in secretly in legislation that Congress never reads but enacts

Gregory: about the upcoming budget-

Bachmann: Members of Congress didn’t read the bill until we enacted it - I want that money back!!

Gregory: thanks for sharing that bit of insanity

Bachmann: Thieves! Socialists! Commies!

Gregory: has John Boehner betrayed the Tea Party?

Bachmann: Obama stole $100 billion!

Gregory: so are literally insane or how does it work?

Bachmann: Obama deceptively stole $100 billion!

Gregory: um, Betsy are her doctors in the
green room?

Producer: they ran away David

Gregory: jesus christ

Bachmann: $100 billion $100 billion $100 billion

Gregory: will the Tea Party destroy the GOP?

Bachmann: Democrats are terrified of the tea party because we’re not Republicans

Gregory: ok

Bachmann: we just want all the branches of government to service white weirdos

Gregory: right

Bachmann: America is doomed!

Gregory: why is that?

Bachmann: America is in grave danger because of the debt that Reagan, Bush I, and Bush II did not build up at all

Gregory: What about Obama’s foreign policy?

Bachmann: he’s weak because we haven’t
attacked Libya

Gregory: so you want to invade Libya

Bachmann: no Obama is irresponsible for even considering that

Gregory: Do you think a lunatic like you can be elected President

Bachmann: Look at lack of job creation and out
of control spending

Gregory: you’re running against George W. Bush?

Bachmann: Obama doesn’t have true
American values

Gregory: you call him a gangster government

Bachmann: absolutely

Gregory: is he anti-American?

Bachmann: well he’s got a real funny name

Gregory: thanks for sharing your inane rantings Congresswoman

Bachmann: arble warble woooooo

[ break ]

Gregory: Polls show that people still believe in
big government

Brooks: this proves that people want small government

Gregory: How can you can I explain to the American people that we must cut Social Security

Brooks: we must use pie charts and sternly lecture the American people

Gregory: but Obama won’t Social Security!

Brooks: yes but he looks weak because he refuses to cut Social Security

Robinson: I can’t help notice the poll you used cited concerns about job creation and government and not cuts and the debt

Gregory: that’s so sad

Brooks: we need to transfer money from the
old to the young

Gregory: we’re in an opaque zone with Ghadaffi

Robinson: do we want American boots on the ground?

Gregory: maybe just the boots without any soldiers in them

Brooks: good idea

Gregory: we’re hypocrites with regard to Sunni dictatorships!

Brooks: we need to attack every dictator in the middle east

Gregory: really?

Brooks: we must remove Ghadaffi

Robinson: you think the Saudis would like that?

Brooks: We should at least talk tough even if we don’t actually do anything

Gregory: David do you have any criticisms of Obama?

Brooks: he talks tough but doesn’t actually do anything

Gregory: Obama beats unnamed GOP candidate
in 2012!

Brooks: Mitch Daniels is my dream candidate

Robinson: dear god

Brooks: also Chris Christie

Robinson: *snort*

Gregory: so which GOP candidate do you like Eugene?

Robinson: um no one

Gregory: is Romneycare an albatross?

Romney: no no no my version of Obamacare was a state mandatory health care plan so it was totally different - I would never impose my good ideas on other American people

Brooks: ok that’s just stupid

Gregory: can he talk about jobs instead?

Brooks: no because the cost of health care will still be an issue in 11 months

Gregory: how can Obama possibly hope to defeat Michelle Bachmann?

Robinson: he has to say when you have a coherent thought I’d love to hear it

Gregory: that just might work


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Gregory: Is Obama moving to the center to get re-elected?

This would be a move to the left for Obama. I doubt we'll see it.

Cosmetic surgery said...

I have enjoyed reading. .Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic.

Anonymous said...

Michelle Bachman is from MN, not WI. We got enough going on here in WI without adding her to our problems.

Love your blog - saves me tons of time on Sunday mornings since I don't have to watch the shows anymore due to your spot on transcriptions.