March 20, 2011
Admiral Mike Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs of Staff
Ali Aujali - Fmr Libya Ambassador to U.S.
Gerard Araud - French Amb. to the U.N.
Alex Marquadt - ABC
Martha Raddatz - ABC
Jake Tapper - ABC
Amanpour: wow a whole new Middle East war -
the old one was eight years old and we really
needed a new one of those!
Amanpour: French, British and U.S. troops
are firing on Tripoli
Audience: Freedom fries!
Qaddafi: I am full of win
Saif: so I’m sitting in my house Saturday watching my TiVo of American Idol and then there are bombs falling all around - I mean what the fuck??
Amanpour: Obama sternly warned you
Saif: who pays attention ? I was watching Fringe - that show rocks
Amanpour: will Qaddafi quit?
Saif: now way - the rebels are all terrorists
Amanpour: will you starting bombing airlines again?
Saif: that’s uncalled for Christiane
Amanpour: what will you do now?
Saif: we urge America to start bombing the rebels
Marquadt: the rebels are totally excited - Obama is using his Jedi mind tricks, the French smuggled in plans to the death star, and they are working with some adorable British Ewoks
Amanpour: what is the goal of these attacks?
Tapper: officially it’s to protect civilians - unofficially it’s to fuck with Qaddafi
Amanpour: who is running the show?
Tapper: the U.S. is not taking a lead role -
we just have 11 ships parked outside Tripoli
Amanpour: will the U.S. arm the rebels?
Tapper: we sent them two droids - that’s not enough?
Amanpour: How can America not run a war?
Raddatz: that is unusual - however an American named General Ham is in charge
Amanpour: Is that kosher?
Raddatz: British and French ace pilots are shooting at anything that moves
Amanpour: it’s like a gay bitchy Top Gun
Tapper: that’s redundant
Amanpour: Is the U.S. in charge or not?
Mullen: Ham is on top, followed by French
Amanpour: and the British?
Mullen: Col. Mustard will lead
Amanpour: this has all the ingredients of a successful operation
Amanpour: Does Qaddafi have to go
Mullen: the mission is very clear - it’s to
support the no-fly zone
Amanpour: so the mission is support
the war mission?
Amanpour: it could last 12 years like in Iraq
Mullen: with any luck
Amanpour: why not protect civilians in other dangerous places like Bahrain, Yemen and Detroit?
Mullen: that’s different - the vicious dictator in Bahrain is a good friend of ours
Amanpour: Can Qaddafi attack America?
Mullen: We’ve taken out the air defenses, cut the supply lines, and blocked Qaddafi’s access to his Facebook page
Amanpour: holy shit
Amanpour: what if he uses mustard gas?
Mullen: a French squad from Dijon will handle it
Amanpour: you know Qaddafi well - what is he
Aujali: he’s crazy and will never ever stop fighting
Amanpour: so what happens next?
Aujali: the rebels must get on the road to Tripoli but they need exact change for all the tolls
Araud: zees man talks of zee reevers of blood -
Amanpour: what do you think the mission
Aujali: if you want to protect civilians then you have to kill Qaddafi
Araud: ‘ee must go - ees ze madman!
Amanpour: will Libyans turn on Qaddafi?
Aujali: he’s locked himself in his compound with trapped followers - he’s like an incoherent Jim Jones
Amanpour: that sounds promising -
everyone thanks for coming