March 13, 2011
Host: Chuck Todd
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Marvin Fertel - President Nuclear Energy Institute
Ichiro Fujisaki - Ambassador to the U.S. from Japan
Todd: wow in Japan thousands are dead and a nuclear reactor may be in meltdown
Lester Holt: we’re dealing with an earthquake, tsunami, recovery, rescue and radioactivity
Audience: holy crap
Holt: people are instructed to block out the radiation by putting a wet cloth over their mouths
Audience: problem solved then
Todd: this is the worst crisis since that unpleasantness from 1940-1945
Fujisaki: that’s right
Todd: I hear rescue efforts are hard
Fujisaki: we’re in full mobilization
Todd: what can the US do?
Fujisaki: you’re already sent Ronald Reagan
and that’s enough
Todd: is the plant really in meltdown?
Fujisaki: oh no not at all - we’re pouring sea water
to give it a good cleaning
Todd: is that a desperation move?
Fujisaki: one fuel rod may be getting a little hot
Todd: just one?
Fujisaki: who can say - that thing is really fucking hot
Todd: it sounds dangerous
Fujisaki: well we’re evacuating everyone we can
[ break ]
Todd: Marvin you represent the nuclear industry -
do you guys plan on killing us all?
Fertel: yeah we're sorry about all this Japan
Todd: so what went wrong?
Fertel: our working theory right now is that some really bad shit happened
Todd: Is the plant in meltdown?
Fertel: well Three Mile Island had a meltdown and everything went just fine
Todd: it was one hour away from making rural Pennsylvania completely uninhabitable
Fertel: so nothing different then
Todd: Could a meltdown happen in the U.S.?
Fertel: yes but nuclear plants in the US are
Todd: is the plant in Japan totally screwed?
Fertel: if necessary we stand ready to send help an army of lobbyists and experts in public relations
Todd: truly your charitable efforts know no ends
[ break ]
Todd: Senator you were a big fan of nuclear power
Schumer: we need nuclear power - look at disaster
Todd: Congress passed a 3-week budget
Schumer: we reached that major breakthrough
when we left abortion out of the budget
Todd: your pal Claire McCaskill says we need massive spending cuts
Schumer: true but the GOP wants to cut cancer research for god’s sake
Todd: will you make cuts
Schumer: we’re willing to cut but we need to spend to grow the economy
Todd: are we just going to keeping running the government 3 weeks at a time?
Schumer: did you know the GOP wants to cut tsunami warnings?
Todd: well when do those ever happen
Schumer: good point
Todd: Is Obama involved enough in the process
Schumer: hell yeah - you know it’s Congress’ job to pass a budget
Todd: do you support a no-fly zone over Libya?
Schumer: let all the world’s major powers get on board -- including the U.S., the European Union,
the Arab League, NATO and Steve Jobs
Todd: Should Obama get input from Congress before intervening in the Libyan war?
Schumer: the idiots who can’t even fund the government for 30 days - no
[ break ]
Todd: Mitch when you were America’s budget director you warned against playing games with government shutdown
Todd: so are Republicans in D.C. wrong?
Daniels: yes but in their defense they’re morons
Todd: what would you do?
Daniels: the entire American Republic is threatened and they are arguing over nickels and dimes
Todd: you said the debt ceiling was a
Daniels: that was before Obama was President - now it’s appropriate to use the debt ceiling for blackmail
Todd: you never even paid for 2 wars or massive prescription drug coverage
Daniels: if we had paid for those things it would have hurt the economy
Todd: how is it conservative to buy a big luxury item and never pay for it?
Todd: You paid down Indiana’s debt and promptly lost thousands of jobs
Daniels: that was Obama’s fault
Todd: maybe so Mitch but you’re not getting results
Daniels: the role of government is give concessions to businesses and hope for the best
Todd: you implied Gov. Walker misled voters on union busting
Daniels: I’ve met him and he is a serious dipshit
Todd: I've noticed that
Todd: do you support collective bargaining?
Daniels: yes but not for government employees
Todd: you called for truce on god guns and gays
Santorum: the purpose of American is to compare gays to bestiality
Daniels: there’s another brainless weasel
Todd: good call on that one Mitch
Daniels: I mean what’s wrong with a little freedom and liberty?
Todd: Did you lie when said you would never run for another office?
Daniels: no but gosh darn it people keep pushing me to run for President and save America
Todd: you said the GOP field sucks
Daniels: who else has my combination of name recognition and charisma?
Todd: who indeed
Todd: what about Sen. Lugar - will you do whatever he asks you to do?
Daniels: I never say no to dick
[ break ]
Balz: Mitch Daniels is a budget plan in search of
a human host
Todd: Team Obama believes you gotta get in the Presidential race early especially if your middle name is Hussein
Norris: that’s right - they laid the groundwork in the summer of 2007
Todd: Gingrich explained to a Christian tv network that he betrayed his marriage vows because he loves America too much
Balz: best interview since Charlie Sheen
Todd: future President Michelle Bachman thinks the American Revolution started in New Hampshire
Norris: the tea party loves her because she is not some snooty egghead
Todd: what about Mr. Fabulous
Balz: Mitt Romney is slick but untrustworthy
Todd: why should NPR get tax money when you clearly hate racists who after all are Americans too
Norris: because without NPR people millions
of Americans would have not have access to real news at all
Todd: but most people get MSNBC, Fox news and CNN for free
Norris: that’s my point Chuckles
Todd: David Broder was on Meet The Press 401 times
Audience: holy crap
Broder: Ross is it possible for you to give me a straight answer
Perot: hey old man I would have brought my
pie charts if you had given me your questions in advance
Broder: do you know what percentage of people don’t have health insurance?
George H.W. Bush: I have no idea - everyone I know does
Broder: really they all do?
Bush: well no some of them just write a check
Broder: Barbara Bush never forgave me for asking Poppy a question about the unwashed masses
Todd: and that’s Meet the Press