March 7, 2010
Guests:
Kathleen Sebelius (Sec. Of HHS)
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
Harold Ford
E.J. Dionne
Rich Lowry
***********************
Gregory: Kathy I hate health care reform and
I’m willing to lie to defeat it
Sebelius : we all know that
Gregory: it is a fact that Americans don’t like Obama’s health reforms
Sebelius : it’s fact that you’re a fucking liar
Gregory: [ fluffs hair ]
Sebelius : did you know that people are suffering and Fluffy if people are so goddamm happy with their health insurance do you think they are happy with 40% increases in premiums?
Gregory: I saw a guy on the street who told me
that Obama will fail
Sebelius : I really don’t give a shit about your so-called facts Dancin Dave
Gregory: it’s a really important point whether if this isn’t enacted by Easter Obama will just let it go
Sebelius : good god you are infathomably shallow
Gregory: Easter - yes or no?!?
Sebelius : I officially have total contempt for you
Gregory: Is Obama’s agenda at stake??!
Sebelius : no dimwit - what’s at peril is
America’s health
Gregory: what mistakes has Obama made?
Sebelius : he underestimated your stupidity?
Gregory: anything else
Sebelius : well we need to sell the evil of
insurance companies better
Gregory: you didn’t communicate to the people
Sebelius : right - we spend months assuring the public we weren’t actually going to kill old people
Gregory: Obama wants to control costs but I talked to anonymous Republicans and Warren Buffet
said it doesn’t do that!
Sebelius : calm down Fluffy
Gregory: but why not just do what the GOP wants?
Sebelius : yeah RomneyCare worked great
Gregory: Big Shoulders are covered
Sebelius : idiot
Gregory: you don’t deal with tort reform!
Sebelius : that’s a lie Greggers
Gregory: but not malpractice reform!
Sebelius : that’s another lie
Gregory: but you can’t possibly disagree with
Saint Warren of the Buffet
Sebelius : brace yourself Fluffy - I do disagree
with the richest man in America on the need for guaranteed health care
Gregory: [ falls on fainting couch ]
Sebelius : I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but the Mayo Clinic says this will probably work but where are the guarantees??
Sebelius : look stupid we know prevention and technology reduce costs
Gregory: will a future Congress really raise taxes?
Sebelius : sure why not
Gregory: Stupak wants to ban health care for wimmins health
Sebelius : we’re not going to pay for abortions I promise!!
Gregory: how do you get President Stupak’s vote?
Sebelius : persuade him by putting a pony head
in his bed
Gregory: really??
Sebelius : no Bart’s just misinformed
Gregory: so you maintain he’s just an idiot
Sebelius : yes - you’d like him
[ break ]
Gregory: so right wingers - what will happen
with ObamaCare?
Hatch: the Founding Fathers wanted one Senator to stop all action therefore Obama is a fascist
EJ Dionne: Dems must pass this because they have to show they can get shit done and also it’s necessary for the future of America
Gregory: President Obama how do you get
the votes?
Ford: I’m Harold Ford
Gregory: what?!?!
Ford: I was just walking around outside and
your producer grabbed me
Gregory: oh well close enough
Ford: we need to win over Republicans!
Gregory: we know all we need to know - the American people hate this bill
Lowry: the Democrats will be destroyed if this
bill passes!!
Gregory: so so so true
Lowry: Tom Daschle said we should be like Australia
Hatch: to pass a bill with a majority vote is Nazisocialisfascicomminsim!!!
Gregory: please elaborate
Hatch: reconciliation has never been used to pass this bill before
Gregory: oh noe!
Hatch: it’s sweeping and therefore terrible!!
Gregory: that’s shocking!!
Hatch: it’s 2,700 pages [ sobs ]
Dionne: Orrin I can’t tell if you are lying or are completely insane
Gregory: elaborate?
Hatch: Bush always ignored polls and used reconciliation to pass tax cuts!
Hatch: Katie Bar the Door!!!
Dionne: good god
Lowry: Jesus Orrin shut the fuck up
Ford: Nobody fucking cares about the
goddam process
Gregory: but Warren Buffet says Obama doesn’t cuts cost!
Hatch: Obama didn’t invite me to his birthday party!!!
[ starts sobbing ]
Gregory: it’s a such a cruel twist than a right-wing idiot from Tennessee can’t run for the Senate from New York without being mocked
Ford: I’ve been in New York for 60 days and I can assure you that we need to cut taxes
Gregory: fascinating
Gregory: who threatened you Harold?
Ford: I keep getting questioned about gays and stuff when in New York what people really care about is electing a bland corporate shill from Tennessee
Gregory: so why not run?
Ford: it turns out I would criticized and that’s unacceptable
Gregory: should Gov. Paterson step down?
Ford: hell yes - let me be Governor!
Gregory: Rich Lowry what does it mean for Democrats that I hate them?
Lowry: it’s so sad that everyone hates Democrats
Gregory: Orrin Hatch I noticed your party is full
of racists
Hatch: no there are good blacks like Harold Ford here
Ford: yay me!
Dionne: when Ford runs for Senate from Tennessee he can use that endorsement!
Ford: wow good idea E.J.
Gregory: E.J. are the Democrats doomed?
Dionne: the bill will be fucking popular Fluffy
Gregory: hey Orrin there’s violence all over Iraq
Hatch: see this proves invading Iraq was a great idea because there’s a chance this country can survive the Bush reign of terror
Gregory: so you think Iraq can survive?
Hatch: I was talking about the U.S.
**********************
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8 comments:
Gregory: how do you get President Stupak’s vote?
Sebelius : persuade him by putting a pony head in his bed
======================
If only they would. House members don't have that much power, this guy would get stomped if he was a Republican.
~
Ha ha chuckle [snort]. Thanks for the laughs on this dreary morning. :o]
They really need to invite John Stewart on. Maybe he can kill this show, too.
Amazing! I grew up in the 60's and it's the same old rhetoric from the Left.....Let's see, "Jobs, Peace, Justice," "Poverty, Ignorance, Disease" -- "Help us shut down the government" Why do you Socialists, Progressives, Liberals, Communists or whatever you call yourselves these days, hate America.....Why are corporations so evil....You can't even name one Socialist success in any country that resulted in the advancement of individual rights, liberties, or prosperity....Yet, you attack the last place in the world where people escape to when Socialist ideology crushes them. You are either stupid or evil....and yet you hide behind high-minded arrogance to deflect any addressing of the issues in a thoughtful manner. I think George bush is an elitist just like Obama so please don't paint me as a right-wing extremist Republican. The mid-term elections are coming and the carnage that will be wrought on the Democrats will be of Biblical proportions and they have done it to themselves because people finally have had a look at what is their core---and they hate it. This is one time that they cannot hide behind the requisite lies that are designed to deceive the average hard-working American. Not this time.....The Crown-Jewel of America would be that you Leftists would go to a country that already loves your way of political slavery and subjugation. This would allow us to return to the business of being Americans which you do not share.
Benesar
I grew up in the '60s too and my parents grew up in the Depression and all of us benefited and benefit every single day of our lives from Socialist programs such as Social Security and Medicare. People who have managed to keep their wits about them understand this. Some others just listen to the drivel-spew of right-wing radio or the latest Ron Paul plutocracy sermon and call it a day. See you at the polling booth, Benny.
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