This Week - March 21, 2010

March 21, 2010
Host:
Jonanthan Karl
Guests:
Rep. John Larson (D-CT)
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
David Plouffe (Obama White House Advisor)
Karl Rove (Bush White House Advisor)
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Karl: So Rep. Larson - I've never heard of you - so do you have the votes?

Larson: damm right!

Karl: really, for sure?

Larson: fuck yeah!

Karl: Eric have they defeated you?

Cantor: oh no we’re winning

Karl: it seems like they have

Cantor: well if they have it’s only because they bribed Louisiana by promising them health care
for their citizens

Karl: that is disturbing

Larson: are you on the side of the insurance industry or the people?

Cantor: I warn you Democrats don’t pass this bill - the American people are scared!!

Larson: oh the American people are always scared over some bullshit you scream about

Karl: how many Democrats will lose because
of this bill?

Larson: millions of people will die if we don’t enact this bill!

Karl: Eric will this bill really ruin America -
I mean any more that Bush already did?

Cantor: the people are terrified, it’s all about fear!

Karl: but is any of that true?

Cantor: they are frightened!

Karl: but is that a lie or false?

Cantor: you’ve got people out there scared

Karl: so you keep saying

Larson: sure they’re scared - you’re all out there yelling “there’s a nigger in the White House!”

Cantor: no one supports that

Karl: Boehner is screaming “it’s Armageddon!!”

Cantor: true but Boehner is our resident House embarrassing nutjob

Karl: Obama says we shouldn’t focus on whether this helps Obama - so does it help Obama?

Plouffe: this is about insurance companies vs. regular people and big corporations vs. cute puppies and kittens

Karl: if you lose this vote do you lose the House??

Plouffe: this vote proves politics and elections matter godammit!

Karl: so Rove are you geninuely concerned about the Democrats?

Rove: oh yes the Dems are just like Bernie Madoff - they don’t even cut the deficit!

Karl: like you did with the Iraq war?

Rove: right - it’s terrible!

Karl: oh noes!

Rove: look at my magic markers and whiteboard - they cut Medicaid!

Karl: how sophisticated

Rove: it’s a disaster!

Plouffe: and who would know more about disasters and false accounting than Karl Rove and George Bush?

Rove: you spend too much - don’t lecture fiscal conservatives like me and Bush about spending

Karl: he’s got a whiteboard - he must be right

Rove: you lie!!

Karl: I will let Karl Rove yell and scream nonsense for ten minutes

Rove: The Dems will take our surplus and make it a deficit!

Karl: wow!

Rove: they will bankrupt the country!

Karl: isn’t it kamikaze to fight for what you
believe in?

Plouffe: no dumbass this about leading delivering for the people

Karl: but isn’t it time for the Unions to back off?

Plouffe: watch out Jonathan or you will wake up
with a pony head in your bed

Karl: but let’s talk more about division in the Democratic party

Rove: Democrats have fascistically threatened the use of the President of the United States!

Plouffe: what a ridiculous person you are

Rove: [ interrupting ]
Obama violated the CAN-SPAM act!

Plouffe: why don’t you go shake down Wall Street or destroy another American city?

Rove: that hurts Pluffy

Karl: isn’t it Obama’s fault that Republicans call Obama a New Guinea witch doctor?

Rove: [interrupting ]
Obama has been detached, aloof uppity and altogether black

Plouffe: interrupting, screaming, spitting -
it’s all they got

Karl: Ok then

Rove: [ spits ]
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