Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Chris Matthews Show - March 7, 2010

Guests:
Dan Rather
Andrea Mitchell
Katty Kay
Joe Klein
*************************

Matthews: OMG Obama should never have
tried reform health care!!!

Rather: three words: bad bad bad jobs jobs jobs

Mitchell: Pelosi has to persuade Dennis Kucinich and Bart Stupak to vote for the same bill - how do you do that??

Klein: Nancy is really good at whipping people

Matthews: how do you get the fetus-Americans
on board

Kay: the pr- life Dems will derail all health care in
order to limit women’s rights

Mitchell: the Hyde Abides!

Klein: the good news is private insurers will not cover abortion -- they’d rather cover a baby for
the next 26 years

Rather: it’s socialism like a cactus in the morning

Mitchell: it’s a government takeover of health care
[ sobs ]

Kay: it’s possible this bill won’t result in genocide

Matthews: whoa!

Kay: if this doesn’t pass the GOP will have a
better issue than if it does

Klein: the elderly care about donuts

Matthews: Does Obama get a bill?

Kay: yes

Rather: yes but it in the bank and put a lock on it
and smack it on the griddle

Mitchell: yes or else Obama will resign

Klein: yes

Matthews: a great triumph for Pelosi!

Klein: nah

Rather: the GOP will say Obama is a nice person although he succeeded in passing health care Obama had to try too hard to do it and Obama
can’t sell watermelons to the NAACP

Matthews: only Teddy Roosevelt could create
the Panama canal!

Matthews: HA! Look JFK was an Indian and Nixon played the piano!

Teabaggers: Elitist!!!

[ break ]

Matthews: Karl Rove admitted that WMD was a lying sales pitch to trick America is supporting their phony war!

Rather: you can send that dog to hunt but you can’t make it a ballet dancer

Mitchell: they say they didn’t lie about WMD but it turns out they are lying about that too

Kay: They lied to get us into a fucking war!!!!

Klein: Dick Cheney didn’t do the due diligence because he’s an idiot and a vampire

Mitchell: Cheney’s book will go after his critics and Bush’s book will connect the dots

Matthews: ooh it will reveal all the connections between Iraq and terror?

Mitchell: no it’s a children’s book idiot

Matthews: will Bush’s book explain his other disasters like the economy?

Mitchelll: and Katrina

Matthews: oh right - forgot about that one

Klein: Bush’s book will make people love him

Matthews: Bush is really a mensch

Bush [watching at home]: hey laura what’s a mench??

Laura: that’s nice dear
*****************

32 comments:

tom.durkin said...

COT saves me hours of brain damage every week! He must be made of sterner stuff to watch all that crap for us!

Mike said...

You truly are the Pundit Whisperer tm!

Anonymous said...

His summaries are so accurate I keep thinking he's going to get in trouble with NBC for copyright infringement.

Henk said...

Poor Laura.

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