Sunday, January 24, 2010

This Week with Terry Moran - January 24, 2010

January 24, 2010
Terry Moran
David Axelrod - White House Advisor
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC)

Moran: OMG the Democrats lost control of the Senate because they only have 59 seats out of 100!!

Axelrod: George Stephanpolous you look different

Moran: I’m Terry Moran

Axelrod: there’s no need to call me names

Moran: the media says that Obama can’t connect with ordinary white people

Axelrod: Terry did you know that Clinton left a surplus and Bush left a trillion dollar deficit and
a wrecked economy?

Moran: No!

Axelrod: it’s true

Moran: what have learned from your fucked-up
first year?

Axelrod: look no one wanted to make unpopular choices to fix George Bush’s mistakes

Moran: but you did it anyway

Axelrod: look we needed real health care reform

Moran: what you do if you got a do-over?

Axelrod: well-

Moran: you don’t a do-over buddy!

Axelrod: you’re a strange one

Moran: you were caught off guard in that mysterious land called Massachusetts

Axelrod: oh we all were caught off by that one

Moran: you’re bringing back Pluffy

Axelrod: he’s enormously talented at electing good looking inspirational black men

Moran: is health care reform dead?

Axelrod: it’s on life support

Moran: that doesn’t sound good

Axelrod: let me put it this way - health care reform can still follow a balloon with its eyes

Moran: excellent news

Axelrod: indeed it is

Moran: what about this idea of slipping the House bill under the Senate door and labeling it “Publisher’s Clearing House - You May Already
Be a Winner!”?

Axelrod: good idea - but Obama won’t walk away from people who need help

Moran: what exactly is in the bill?

Axelrod: no one will know until we enact it

Moran: how odd

Moran: have you rebooted Robot Obama and reprogrammed him to be a Populist

Axelrod: yes we have - also we installed an
emotion chip

Moran: oh my


Moran: Bob your job is to get Democrats elected to Senate and your first action was to lose the seat Ted Kennedy held for 40 fucking years

Menendez: true but I’m on steep learning curve

Moran: seems like it

Menendez: small businesses blah mortgages blah services blah jobs economics blah tax relief blah middle class blah blah

Moran: Minty you said about Obama “I must break you!”

DeMint: we’re seeing a sudden American awakening of people alarmed that a black man has the power
to spend and build up debt

Moran: I noticed that

DeMint: incredibly Obama opposed tort reform so
we can’t take him seriously

Moran: I couldn’t help notice that Scott Brown didn’t call himself a Republican

DeMint: we’ve got to earn the trust of the American people by
saying Obama took power three years ago

Moran: anything else

DeMint: also waving posters of Obama as a witch doctor in Auschwitz

Menendez: hey stupid - George Bush blew a surplus and handed Obama a Depression

Moran: yeah but Obama wasted all his time on a health care plan ABC news doesn’t like

Menendez: he prevented a Great Depression!

Moran: I see your mouth moving but all I hear is you’re not bipartisan

DeMint: look I’ve never heard of this ‘George Bush’ you’re talking about but the American people are very angry at this black man is steamrolling them will all this spending and debt

Menendez: that Bush created

DeMint: who is this ‘Bush’ person you keep
referring to?

Moran: hey John Roberts says that money is speech and corporations are people!

Menendez: it’s an outrage and by the time
we’re done corporations will probably amend
the Constitution to take away rights for
mere human beings

DeMint: the teabaggers are populist so of course we need to protect businesses from evil labor unions

Moran: even foreign corporations?

DeMint: well let’s not worry about that, the point is -- wait I have to take this call from Exxon

Moran: thank for coming Senator

Exxon: thank you Terry

Moran: I was talking to DeMint

Exxon: who?

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