January 24, 2010
David Axelrod - White House Advisor
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC)
Moran: OMG the Democrats lost control of the Senate because they only have 59 seats out of 100!!
Axelrod: George Stephanpolous you look different
Moran: I’m Terry Moran
Axelrod: there’s no need to call me names
Moran: the media says that Obama can’t connect with ordinary white people
Axelrod: Terry did you know that Clinton left a surplus and Bush left a trillion dollar deficit and
a wrecked economy?
Axelrod: it’s true
Moran: what have learned from your fucked-up
Axelrod: look no one wanted to make unpopular choices to fix George Bush’s mistakes
Moran: but you did it anyway
Axelrod: look we needed real health care reform
Moran: what you do if you got a do-over?
Moran: you don’t a do-over buddy!
Axelrod: you’re a strange one
Moran: you were caught off guard in that mysterious land called Massachusetts
Axelrod: oh we all were caught off by that one
Moran: you’re bringing back Pluffy
Axelrod: he’s enormously talented at electing good looking inspirational black men
Moran: is health care reform dead?
Axelrod: it’s on life support
Moran: that doesn’t sound good
Axelrod: let me put it this way - health care reform can still follow a balloon with its eyes
Moran: excellent news
Axelrod: indeed it is
Moran: what about this idea of slipping the House bill under the Senate door and labeling it “Publisher’s Clearing House - You May Already
Be a Winner!”?
Axelrod: good idea - but Obama won’t walk away from people who need help
Moran: what exactly is in the bill?
Axelrod: no one will know until we enact it
Moran: how odd
Moran: have you rebooted Robot Obama and reprogrammed him to be a Populist
Axelrod: yes we have - also we installed an
Moran: oh my
Moran: Bob your job is to get Democrats elected to Senate and your first action was to lose the seat Ted Kennedy held for 40 fucking years
Menendez: true but I’m on steep learning curve
Moran: seems like it
Menendez: small businesses blah mortgages blah services blah jobs economics blah tax relief blah middle class blah blah
Moran: Minty you said about Obama “I must break you!”
DeMint: we’re seeing a sudden American awakening of people alarmed that a black man has the power
to spend and build up debt
Moran: I noticed that
DeMint: incredibly Obama opposed tort reform so
we can’t take him seriously
Moran: I couldn’t help notice that Scott Brown didn’t call himself a Republican
DeMint: we’ve got to earn the trust of the American people by
saying Obama took power three years ago
Moran: anything else
DeMint: also waving posters of Obama as a witch doctor in Auschwitz
Menendez: hey stupid - George Bush blew a surplus and handed Obama a Depression
Moran: yeah but Obama wasted all his time on a health care plan ABC news doesn’t like
Menendez: he prevented a Great Depression!
Moran: I see your mouth moving but all I hear is you’re not bipartisan
DeMint: look I’ve never heard of this ‘George Bush’ you’re talking about but the American people are very angry at this black man is steamrolling them will all this spending and debt
Menendez: that Bush created
DeMint: who is this ‘Bush’ person you keep
Moran: hey John Roberts says that money is speech and corporations are people!
Menendez: it’s an outrage and by the time
we’re done corporations will probably amend
the Constitution to take away rights for
mere human beings
DeMint: the teabaggers are populist so of course we need to protect businesses from evil labor unions
Moran: even foreign corporations?
DeMint: well let’s not worry about that, the point is -- wait I have to take this call from Exxon
Moran: thank for coming Senator
Exxon: thank you Terry
Moran: I was talking to DeMint