Tim Kaine, DNC Chair
Michael Steele, RNC Chair
Gregory: Obama has created controversy by taking a popular political position and speaking at a catholic school!
Steele: speaking for all catholics, i can tell you that they should not have given this child murderer a degree - also non-catholics are also troubled because let's face it Notre Dame's football team belongs to us all
Kaine: well there you go again with your big government put-women-in-prison attitude
Gregory: is Obama backtracking on abortion?? After all he hasn't had one since he was elected
Kaine: give him time
Gregory: how pro abortion is Obama?
Steele: oh he's crazy all up and supporting abortion - I'm very concerned that he's not supporting Planned Parenthood and also he watched "Rudy" on tv the other day - dude you can't have it both ways!!
Kaine: well that's stupid
Gregory: name one pro abortion Republican
Steele: Christie Todd Whitman
Gregory: yeah i heard from her about 10 years ago
Gregory: should we have empathy in judges?
Steele: hey fucker we don't need judges with feelings - we need a robot or a lizard or a dick cheney - an unfeeling monster who hates people
Kaine: I think judges need to consider how the law affects human beings
Steele: you don't need to judges to feel sorry for people or being overly sensitive or having a bad day or going through that time of the month
Kaine: people who like people are lucky people
Steele: well i hate people and we need judges who do too
Gregrory: Pelosi apparently waterboarded lots of people
Kaine: that's a lie
Gregory: but the CIA says she knew
Kaine: that's a lie as well
Steele: the central question on torture is what did nancy pelosi know and when did she know it
Gregory: should we have a truth commission?
Steele: yeah let’s sure investigate Pelosi’s complicity on torture fucker
Kaine: so we agree it was torture and we agree it was wrong
Steele: no no no the point is Nancy Pelosi is the focus on whatever bullshit we can throw out
Gregrory: was it torture?
Steele: oh i shouldn't say after all I'm a moron
Gregory: c'mon you can tell us
Steele: no I have no opinion on boiling people in oil
Gregory: is torture wrong?
Steele: dude who can say
Gregory: Cheney is pro torture
Steele: he's just a private citizen - who cares?
Gregory: but Cheney says he prefers Rush to Powell
Steele: i like all Republicans from Rush to Schwarzenegger Reagan to Mary Bono and Gopher in the Love Boat
Kaine: except for Arlen Specter
Steele: no that's different he's never been in any bad movies
Gregory: so you embrace every Republican except those who voted for the stimulus bill
Steele: that's a dealbreaker because they worked with Obama
Gregory: your party is fucked
Steele: it's true that we have bad ideas but it's important have balance with truth and lies
Gregory: Is Obama backtracking on promises he made to liberals on torture pictures!
Kaine: no he's copyrighted those photos and he's going to put out a special commermorative coffee table book
Steele: this fucking President reversed the order banning abortions overseas
Gregory: um what?
Steele: also he stopped the GOP plan to give poor black kids a free college education
Kaine: you're a loony
Gregory: health care reform is too expensive isn't it?
Kaine: no we must have it to save money
Steele: no one is talking about the most important issue - tort reform!
Steele: also we must have a table with insurers and the drug companies at it
Kaine: well fine we can make a deal then
Steele: well fine let's do tort reform and all our problems will be solved
Gregrory: is Obama a socialist?
Steele: he's my buddy and that's all that matters
Gregrory: so he's not a socialist?
Steele: i dunno
Gregory: the president mocked your attempt to reach out to blacks!
Steele: whazzup! [ puts hat on backwards ]
Gregory: [ attempts high five, misses ]
well it works better with karl rove
[ break ]
Gregrory: what the hell is wrong with the GOP?
Brownstein: they're driving out everyone who isn't a southern conservative christian lunatic
Noonan: i like a big tent with big tent poles
Noonan: their epic failure is just what they need to come back better than ever
Gregrory: what else
Noonan: they need to speak the english language which the current administration doesn't do so good
Gregory: you mean "well"
Nooner: you're a gooder talker
Gregory: you spoke with Obama
Meacham: yes they are falling apart like the Democrats in 1980
Gregory: so they will come back in 12 years!
Meachem: Obama keeps getting lucky
Haas: Obama is a good guy but he may not be imperial enough
Gregory: Pelosi says she was told waterboarding did not take place which means she knew!
Brownstein: oh no!
Gregory: Panetta said that the CIA doesn't usually lie
Brownstein: this isn't about the truth about torture - it's really about blaming Obama for everything Bush did
Gregory: oh my
Brownstein: Pelosi's inflammatory and that's bad in Washington DC
Noonan: this is shocking - the end result might be that people will ask questions and the truth might come out
Gregory: the only issue we need to talk about is why didn't the Democrats stop our hero George Bush from doing evil things
Haas: Democrats were scared of looking unpatriotic - why don't Democrats save us the GOP in the face of accusations that they hate America?
Audience: ah the story of the last 30 years
Gregory: Haas you're a hawk but you're calling for limited imperial wars
Meacham: Obama's like Spock - he believes getting stuck in a land war in Asia is not logical
Gregory: but does that mean that every 7 years he invades a random nation?
Meacham: Bush is a Klingon - warlike but put much stake on honor
Haas: Cheney is romulan - tricky and evil
Gregory: Obama seems like a pragmatist who plays 3 dimensional chess
Brownstein: he's coopting insurers and drug companies
Brownstein: then he got coal makers to agree on his energy plan
Gregory: that’s great - raising the question - but is he doing too much?
Noonan: speaking for regular Americans i can say they are very concerned about the large projected deficit and that Obama is doing a million things and the people don't like that
Meacham: I agree the Presidencies of Reagan and Bush show how people fret about the debt
Meacham: i was kidding stupid - i think the American people are grown-up enough to have a smart and busy president
Noonan: oh pooh