The Chris Matthews Show - May 24, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show
May 24, 2009

Matthews: OMG dick cheney says mass murderers are still out to get us!!

Duffy: Obama seemed very uncertain and hesitant and it was strange to see him standing in front of these weird old pieces of paper

Kay: Cheney caught the white house flat-footed by insisting that only boiling people alive can keep America safe

Matthews: why is Cheney doing so well??

Ignatius: He's not Chris -- he's a crazy lunatic

Matthews: OMG Obama is going to bring scary terrorists to live our suburban day-care centers!!!

Loven: we have no details on what Obama intends to do with the detainees

Ignatius: except for the 2 hour speech he gave last week

Loven: well yeah

Ignatius: this idea we have to be afraid of terrorists in a Supermax prison is petty and crazy

Kay: they're scared and fear-mongering like they always do

Duffy: Obama is just like Bush except when he's not - but the liberal bloggers are mad at him

Loven: the terrorists are horrible!!

Ignatius: oh for god's sake McLoven calm the fuck down

Matthews: who is winning this debate - dick cheney or barack obama?

Panel: 11 out of 12 say Obama

Matthews: so lets' talk to the one person who thinks Cheney is winning!

Kay: Cheney is so scary he rules our world

Loven: I'm worried that he's losing his mystique

Matthews: OMG here are the four funny moments from the 18 years of the Jay Leno era!!!

[ shows clip ]

Tweety: ha!

Matthews: OMG Obama wants to be re-elected!!!

Duffy: he's the most efficient cyborg ever to be elected President

Loven: oh yeah he seems really to be want to be re-elected

Matthews: he's got the blacks, hispanics, kids, and non-morons

Kay: he's got the bloggers and all the weirdos with their internets and twitterings and facebookings

Loven: they're very smart and subtle - they don't talk they just win

Matthews: they key to winning is to run against a Republican and a real loser

Ignatius: well that shouldn't be hard to find

Matthews: tell me some news!

Loven: the white house loves the attacks from liberal bloggers - it makes him look centrist

Ignatius: obama has moved on - he's giving a speech in Cairo

Tweety: what about?

Ignatius: he's going to demand to know if there is really a secret chamber under the Sphinx

Tweety: ha!

Matthews: will Obama attack Iran??

Ignatius: we must stop Iran and i will keep writing novels until we have victory!

Matthews: maybe Israel can just nuke the place

Loven: Obama got played by Bibi

Duffy: what's the rush Chris?

Matthews: we need another middle east war!
**************************