The Chris Matthews Show
May 24, 2009
Matthews: OMG dick cheney says mass murderers are still out to get us!!
Duffy: Obama seemed very uncertain and hesitant and it was strange to see him standing in front of these weird old pieces of paper
Kay: Cheney caught the white house flat-footed by insisting that only boiling people alive can keep America safe
Matthews: why is Cheney doing so well??
Ignatius: He's not Chris -- he's a crazy lunatic
Matthews: OMG Obama is going to bring scary terrorists to live our suburban day-care centers!!!
Loven: we have no details on what Obama intends to do with the detainees
Ignatius: except for the 2 hour speech he gave last week
Loven: well yeah
Ignatius: this idea we have to be afraid of terrorists in a Supermax prison is petty and crazy
Kay: they're scared and fear-mongering like they always do
Duffy: Obama is just like Bush except when he's not - but the liberal bloggers are mad at him
Loven: the terrorists are horrible!!
Ignatius: oh for god's sake McLoven calm the fuck down
Matthews: who is winning this debate - dick cheney or barack obama?
Panel: 11 out of 12 say Obama
Matthews: so lets' talk to the one person who thinks Cheney is winning!
Kay: Cheney is so scary he rules our world
Loven: I'm worried that he's losing his mystique
Matthews: OMG here are the four funny moments from the 18 years of the Jay Leno era!!!
[ shows clip ]
Matthews: OMG Obama wants to be re-elected!!!
Duffy: he's the most efficient cyborg ever to be elected President
Loven: oh yeah he seems really to be want to be re-elected
Matthews: he's got the blacks, hispanics, kids, and non-morons
Kay: he's got the bloggers and all the weirdos with their internets and twitterings and facebookings
Loven: they're very smart and subtle - they don't talk they just win
Matthews: they key to winning is to run against a Republican and a real loser
Ignatius: well that shouldn't be hard to find
Matthews: tell me some news!
Loven: the white house loves the attacks from liberal bloggers - it makes him look centrist
Ignatius: obama has moved on - he's giving a speech in Cairo
Tweety: what about?
Ignatius: he's going to demand to know if there is really a secret chamber under the Sphinx
Matthews: will Obama attack Iran??
Ignatius: we must stop Iran and i will keep writing novels until we have victory!
Matthews: maybe Israel can just nuke the place
Loven: Obama got played by Bibi
Duffy: what's the rush Chris?
Matthews: we need another middle east war!