Sunday, June 17, 2007

Meet The Press - June 17, 2007

Meet The Press - June 17, 2007


Ryan Crocker

Tim Russert: Ok Crocker the surge appears to be a total disaster of course that's just the Pentagon talking -- but it looks like these guys just can't get along

Ambassador Ryan Crocker: the Surge is going like gangbusters the surge is surging in Al Anbar and Baghdad!!!

Timmeh: dood is this a hostage video??

Crocker: true the violence has moved out of Baghdad but that's good news we opened up a Tastee Freeze downtown

Timmeh: well I admit that sounds tasty

Crocker: we're only at the beginning of the Surge but so far it's going great!!!

Russert: is this just wack-a-mole

CrackerJack: We have to control Baghdad and we're wacking a lot of moles there -- i've played that game and in the end it goes faster and faster its freaking me out!!!

Russert: is General Petraeus out of touch with reality

Cracker Barrel: no this dood wanders around Baghdad and on any given day 30% of Baghdad is not bombed how about that

Timmy: Colin Powell says the Surge is a stupid idea and will fail

Cracker: hey the good news is that while it's true iraqis are being killed they've learned new life skills like torture, dodging incoming bombs and how to treat a shrapnel wound

Timmy: dood were you built in a wingnut laboratory

Crocs: no I escaped from madame tussaud’s

Timmy: are we arming Sunni crazies?

Crocker Jarmon: the enemy of my enemy's enemy is my friend's enemy

Timmy: got it

Crack: the prime minister has formed a Committe to look into the fact that his country is exploding into endless uncontrolled violence

Tim: what a relief

Crock: truly we are on the verge of a Great Victory against Eastasia

Timmy: what happens in September

Ryan's Hope: we will give Congress a Polaroid of Iraq but it can't be developed until later

Timster: so it will be a pack of lies then

Betty Crocker: right - it will be full of warnings like Iran will attack us and al qaeda will take over - stuff like that

Timmeh: whats up with the Iraqi people

Croc Hunter: the Iraqis America put in power all seem really enthused about our invasion but they're on a 1,000 year clock

Timmeh: dood time to replace yur batteries

[ break ]

Eugene Robinson: the White House is really invoking the soft bigotry of low expectations in Iraq which means we are never, ever leaving

Katie O'Beirne: September is now regarded as really important conservatives are turning on this liberal president

Timmeh: Sen. McConnell sez Congress will turn on Bush unless he issues a fake report announcing success in September

Byron York: the White House is panicking people actually expect progress Bush has never faced this in his whole life

Russert: why does Reid hate America

E. J. Dionne: John McCain criticized General McLellan in the Civil War so he can't talk - but Bush will never ever leave Iraq we should talk about that

O'Beirne: Reid is dumb because Petraeus is very honest and the report will be an accurate whitewash

Tim: what happens in September

Lord Byron: i asked my conservative hairdresser and he said continued failure in Iraq is unacceptable and also I may have split ends it's a nightmare

Robinson: lets face it we have a true fuck-up in the White House

York: Conservatives want more killing!

Russert: yet another failure for Bush on immigration this is so sad because Bush knows all about this issue

York: the Republican Party would very successful if it weren't for all the Republicans in it

Russert: good point there should a liberal party with black and hispanic voters that would be interesting

EJ Dionne: wingnuts are finding out that Bush smears everyone who disagrees with him sweet ironic justice

O'Beirne: Bush had to sneak this past the American people and he failed because he choked on a pretzel the night it was supposed to pass

York: the people hate illegal immigrants of course i am a product of the Anglos sneaking into Saxony

Timmeh: will Bush do the right thing and pardon Scooter?

O'Beirne: well Bush is asshole which means he might turn on Scooter or pardon him just to be a dick

Timmeh: helps with the base?

O'Beirne: Bush's relationship with the wingnuts reminds me of all my bad marriages the little things start to irritate you like that constant breathing in and out

Russert: Scooter will get out of jail free card if Bush uses his plenary powers?

O'Beirne: Bush can't pass Go but will collect $200,000

Dionne: bush is in a no-wins situation if he pardon him he supports a crook who ruined the CIA if he doesn't the wingnuts will have a tantrum

Robinson: oh i hope he does the Dems will run with it

Russert: the Dems suck they haven't stopped the war

Dionne: they have to magically get more votes in the Senate or they will catch hell

York: what caused this problem is Reggie Walton is bad man

Russert: not Scooter's crimes interesting

Timmy: Eugene yur black what's up with Obama

Robinson: he's a cool dude

Timmy: Fred beats up John McCain

O'Beirne: i luv Fred Thompson he’s smart, sexy, he’s got charisma -- the real question is how wingnutty is he

York: The crazies don't like their choices they want a real wacko

Dionne: Southern Men luv a Rich Hollywood Actor Lobbyist

Timmeh: Hillary is strong

Dionne: she's got the money and liberal street cred

York: Hillary’s smart and Obama’s inspirational

Robinson: Obama is playing it cool he's like a jazz trumpeter in a club and it's only 9:00 pm dood's got all night

Russert: But the primaries! Six months! I've got my eraserboard ready!
[ break ]
Russert: big nasty fight between McCain and Mitt Romney!!

O'Beirne: McCain is flailing and desperate Mitt stole his baseball glove and all his votes

Tim: so sad

O'Beirne: McCain is with Bush on Iraq and immigration what a fucking genius

York: Romney has great shoulders but he's from Massachusetts that could be a killer with wingnut voters

Russert: happy father’s day to all the crazies out there I luv ya

No comments: