Guests:
Gov.
Scott Walker
Amb.
Brett McGurk
Malcolm
Gladwell
Trymaine
Lee
Matt
Bai
Helene
Cooper
Melissa
Harris-Perry
Steve
Schmidt
Matt
Bai
Melissa
Harris-Perry
Helene
Cooper
Steve
Schmidt
Todd:
Fresh polls!
Todd:
Bernie is within 7% in Iowa!
Todd:
Ben Carson is crushing
everyone
but Trump! What the hell?
Todd:
Carson is tied with
Trump
for being the second choice
Todd:
but it's all Trump all the time
Trump:
make America Great Again!
Walker
: make a greater America
Jeb:
anchor babies!
Trump:
Rand Paul is stupid!
Paul:
no I'm not!
Lindsay
Graham:
pistols
at dawn mah good man!
Todd:
Steve Republicans
say
they hate their leaders
Schmidt:
GOP voters have
utter
contempt for Republican leadership
Todd:
that seems right
Schmidt:
Republicans love power
but
conservatives love crazy people
Todd:
of course
Schmidt:
also blue collar
white
people want the 1950s back
Harris-Perry:
Democrats split
in
half during the civil rights era
– is
it time for the Republicans?
Todd:
people hate Bush and love Trump
Bai:
Trump isn't winning –
everybody
else is losing it
Bai:
Trump is like Herman Cain
if
Mitt Romney was even more incompetent
Todd:
everyone loves Ben Carson
Cooper:
almost everyone
Todd:
whatever happened
to
Scott Walker?
[
break ]
Todd:
welcome Scott Walker
Walker:
hi Ted
Todd:
one of your best friends
thinks
you're a boring stiff
who
is losing this race
Walker:
it's hard work!
Todd:
so is being President
Walker:
gosh darn it
Todd:
why is Barack Obama
more
popular in your own
state
than you are?
Walker:
because I am so awesome
Todd:
in what way?
Walker:
ACT score are up
Todd:
Facebookers want to
know
why you spent tax
dollars
on sports stadium
Walker:
NBA players pay
a
lot in income taxes!
Todd:
what about the 14th
Amendment
and birthright citizens?
Walker:
good question
Todd:
you won't give a clear answering
Walker:
no I'm very very clear
Todd:
what is your clear answer?
Walker:
secure the border!
Todd:
okay but-
Walker:
until we secure
the
border I will answer
no
other questions!
Todd:
but that's stup-
Walker:
secure the border!
Todd:
why not give the
Iran
Deal a chance to work?
Walker:
it's a bad deal –
just
ask Chuck Schumer
or
the American people
Todd:
who would know better?
Walker:
Iran would inspect themselves!
Todd:
that isn't true
Walker:
also they need
to
stop all terrorism
Todd:
I see
Walker:
we should reject their
offer
to inspect their nuclear facilities!
Todd:
then they build a nuclear bomb
Walker:
so what
Todd:
how do you stop Islamic terrorism?
Walker:
unleash the power
of
the U.S. military!
Todd:
it's leashed?
Walker:
we're fighting with
one
hand behind our back!
Todd:
you said the gay
marriage
debate is over
Walker:
the Founders came to
America
so they wouldn't have
to
bake pies for sexual deviants
Todd:
they did?
Walker:
that's what Texas
school
books say
Todd:
who has a better shot –
Aaron
Rogers in the Super Bowl
or
you in Iowa
Walker:
um me
Todd:
get real Scot
[
break ]
Todd:
we decided to game
out
a way for Hillary to lose
because
why the hell not
Todd:
first Biden needs to
capture
white people but they
like
Clinton and Sanders
Todd:
and more bad news –
minorities
like Hillary
Todd:
Melissa you're black
– can
Biden get their vote?
HarrisPerry:
oh definitely
Todd:
really?
Harris-Perry:
Clinton had
black
people in 2008 until
Obama
showed up
Todd:
but unlike Biden
Obama
is black
Harris-Perry:
sure but Barack
can
anoint Biden
Todd:
Biden wrote
that
bad crime bill
Bai:
but Martin O'Malley
jailed
black people too
Todd:
Martin who?
Bai:
Black people benefited
from
the Crime Bill!
Harris-Perry:
Hillary Clinton
owns
that crime bill too
Todd:
let's talk Clinton E-Mails!
Clinton:
okay I admit it – I screwed up
Schmidt:
the American people
just
don't trust Hillary Clinton!
Schmidt:
some elderly socialist
from
New Hampshire is beating her
Todd:
Vermont
Schmidt:
whatever
Schmidt:
the rules about classified
information
are very clear and not nuanced
Todd:
actually they are very
unclear
and totally confusing
Todd:
Obama went after Clinton
– can
Biden do it too?
Cooper:
Obama could
anoint
Biden but he won't
Todd:
can Biden win over
black
people??
only
time... will tell!!
Todd:
it's been 10 years since
America
looked like a racist
failed
third-world nation
before
the whole world
Todd:
has New Orleans recovered?
Todd:
well the poverty rate is 27%
and
black population never did recover
Lee:
I reported on floating
dead
bodies and babies
Philips:
my house floated
off
its foundation
Lee:
she spent eighth
years
in Texas
Philips:
the city is not
as
vibrant as it once was
Lee:
you don't see it
in
the lower 9th ward
Lee:
but the spirit of
resilience
is still there
Todd:
did New Orleans need
to
be destroyed in order to be saved?
Gladwell:
criminals whose
neighborhoods
were destroyed
were
less likely to go back
to
prison – how awesome is that?
Todd:
very awesome
Gladwell:
utter destruction
was
the best thing that
happened
to this crack dealer
Todd:
what about the schools
Gladwell:
it's a failure but
my
suspicion is that long-term
is
will be a success
Todd:
um okay
Gladwell:
sure the gains
are
modest but let's not
write
off destruction
Todd:
are people better
off
abandoning their homes?
Gladwell:
my family left Jamaica
Todd:
you're from Queens?
Gladwell:
no my peeps are
from
the real Jamaica fled
that
ganja hell-hole for the
diverse
experiment that is Canada
Todd:
did we destroy New Orleans
in
order to save it and was that a good thing?
Gladwell:
probably but it's too soon to tell
Todd:
sounds like progress to me
Gladwell:
true but let's
note
all the people killed
Todd:
is New Orleans
a
better city now?
Harris-Perry:
if your home
was
wiped out then 'no it's not better'
Todd:
perhaps not
Harris-Perry:
they destroyed
the
teacher union which attacked
the
black middle class
Harris-Perry:
New Orleans
could
have used that federal
money
before the storm
Todd:
but black people who
left
New Orleans are so much better off!
Harris-Perry:
maybe those were
the
people who could afford to move
Harris-Perry:
also Malcolm
Gladwell
is an idiot comparing
immigration
from other countries
to
Americans left without a place
to
live and work because of crappy levees
[
break ]
Todd:
omg it's been a year
since
ISIS became a terrifying thing
Todd:
oh no we're not destroying ISIS
Engel:
the US has been
bombing
ISIS for a year –
but
it's got franchises
around
the world
Engel:
its growing faster
that
al-Qaeda – it's got a strong brand
ISIS
fighter: I started doubting
ISIS
when they started beheading
close
friends of mine which was
so
annoying plus they have bad WiFi
Engel:
they're still training
Iraqi
fighters which apparently
takes
fifteen years
Engel:
air strikes kill a few
people
but there are always more
Engel:
so now the Pentagon
is
looking at a new strategy
involving
killing people but in a new way
Todd:
how is the fight going against ISIS?
McGurk:
a year ago we didn't
have
an Iraqi government and
now
we have one
Todd:
but it sucks
McGurk:
get off my back
– it's
a multi-year plan
Todd:
it doesn't sound like much progress
McGurk:
we killed the top ISIS deputy!
Todd:
not again
McGurk:
we killed their top IT guy!
Todd:
well now they can't
access
their work e-mail
Todd:
were intelligence
estimates
exaggerated?
McGurk:
hopefully not
Todd:
but maybe
McGurk:
we saved Khobani!
Todd:
the yogurt?
McGurk:
this will take years
Todd:
Helene when are
we
going to win this war on ISIS
Cooper:
you have to
combat
their theology!
Cooper:
I was on an aircraft
carrier
and we send pilots
out
without bombing anything
because
Iraqi troops are losers
Todd:
that is such sad waste of bombs
Cooper:
training Iraqi troops is very slow
Todd:
are they slow or something
Cooper:
this will take years
Todd:
oh boy
Cooper:
why is their ideology so popular?
Todd:
it's depressing that
when
people get shot the
pro-gun
people and mental-health
people
but I didn't say hear
anyone
say enough is enough
let's
do something
Schmidt:
after Newtown 90% of
people
wanted background checks
and
nothing happened because
of
the gun control lobby
Bai:
ammosexuals are one-issue voters!
Todd:
hee hee
Bai:
only a Republican can bring us gun control!
Harris-Perry:
gun violence is not massacres –
it's
suicides and self-inflcited and
other
accidents see #gunfail
No comments:
Post a Comment