Guests:
Donald
Trump
Jeff
Greenfield
Eugene
Robinson
Molly
Ball
Kim
Strassel – WSJ
Todd:
omg I have an exclusive
interview
with the Donald
Trump!
Todd:
oh wow
Hillary Clinton is in trouble!
Todd:
a lot of people dismissed
the
Donald Trump including me
but
I was wrong and got to ride
in the fancy helicopter!
Todd:
some say you're
not a real
conservative
and you just play a lunatic
on tv
Trump:
Ronald Reagan was
once
a liberal Democrat and he
evolved
and he really liked me
Todd:
should
abortion be always illegal?
Trump:
no I would allow abortion
in cases
of rape or
incest or the life
of the mother or if you're
rich enough
to afford it
Todd:
what about for the
health of the mother?
Trump:
only if the mother is
close
to real death –
like
she's really
really gonna
die
Todd:
okay
Trump:
only legitimate rapes
and
incests and none of this
maybe
is going to die or could possibly die
Todd:
right
Trump:
none of these loose
chicks
whining they have a
cold
and want an abortion
Todd:
did you ever donate
to
Planned Parenthood?
Trump:
I don't know – I'm
such a giver
Todd:
you are so
generous
you
don't know?
Trump:
yes but those videos
were
outrageous and disgusting
and
they
have to stop with the abortions
Todd:
were the videos deceptively
edited?
Trump:
I don't know I just
know
they are just
disgusting
Todd:
would you shut down
the
government over this issue?
Trump:
I don't know but
the
abortions they bother
me
Todd:
what about
ISIS?
Trump:
I said 'don't
go into Iraq'
and
I was right
Todd:
seems right in hindsight
Trump:
fuck yeah it was
Trump:
what do we do now?
Trump:
we go into and take over the oil
Todd:
would you send in ground
troops?
Trump:
yeah but we'd make a lot
of money
from taking the oil so
to make up
for getting a lot of people
killed I'd
give money to the families
of the soldiers killed
Todd:
doesn't the oil belong
to Iraqi people?
Trump:
no way Chuck – we
spent
trillions
on the war and we didn't
make
a lot of money off that war
Todd:
I see
Trump:
how is that good business?
Todd:
I don't know
Trump:
damn right
Todd:
who is advising you on
military issues?
Trump:
mostly I get my information
from The History Channel
Todd:
is that right?
Trump:
I would totally use the alien
technology
in Area 51 to beat
ISIS
and turn a huge profit
Todd:
anyone
else?
Trump:
John Bolton and Jack Jacobs
Todd:
you seem to hate Saudi
Arabia
Trump:
they're entitled bastards
who
just happen to have
oil
Todd: ooh snap
Trump: I deal with clowns like this
all the time –
they're
basically trust fund
frat boys from
the Hamptons but with
Ferraris and Land Rovers instead
of Corvettes and Escalades
Todd:
that makes sense
Trump:
we give Saudi
Arabia
money
and get nothing for it!
Todd:
you think Saudi Arabia
should
reimburse
us for protecting them
from
the extremists they fund
Trump:
why the fuck not
Todd:
but the status quo works
for
all of us except those liberals
who
care about human rights
Trump:
we should invade Iraq
and
seize
their oil for ourselves
and
then and we won't need
Saudi
Arabia anymore
Todd:
you want to turn the
military into mercenaries
Trump:
hey the U.S. has a lot of debt
–
what
good is having a military if
you
can't use it to take stuff from
other
people and turn a profit?
Todd:
what would you do about
Iran?
Trump:
I would tell them to fuck off
Todd: ok then what
Trump:
under this deal with
inspections
they
will be rich and have nuclear weapons
Todd:
they will?
Todd:
Kerry
is incompetent!
Trump:
I am so good at reading
contracts
I would do great with Iran
Todd:
so you would keep
the
Iran deal Obama made?
Trump:
Iran is going to be sooo
rich
–
I
gotta hand it to them
Todd:
good point
Trump:
I would be so tough
on
Iran you wouldn't believe!
Todd:
I might not
[
break ]
Todd:
any thoughts Jeff
Greenfield?
Greenfield:
he said 'I
have to think
about
that'
which is amazing because
he's
given no indication
he
thinks before
Todd:
see he's mellowing
Greenfield:
he said he gets
military
knowledge from watching
cable
tv which is bit concerning
Ball:
he seems to give details
but
really it's just a word
salad
–
it's
very slippery
Strassel:
conservatives want
principled
candidates who
can win
and he doesn't is
not either of those things
Todd:
what is Trump?
Robinson:
he's Trump!
Todd:
what is that?
Robinson:
he doesn't need military
advice
because he knows to
make
a deal – he's Trump!
Todd:
he's Trump!
[
chorus: he's trump he's trump
he's
trump he's trump ]
Todd:
he said he would
accept
the Iran deal and just
enforce
the deal strictly which
is
exactly the
Obama policy
Greenfield:
he's torn – he's a
practical
businessman who's a bit crazy
Robinson:
it's funny
Strassel:
but a bit stupid
[
break ]
Todd:
Trump wants
to end
citizenship for
people born here
which
we've had for 225 years
Todd:
you would deport all
undocumented
immigrants - even children
Trump:
yes! All of them!
Todd:
even children?
Trump:
they have to go!
Todd:
what if they have nowhere to go?
Trump:
they have to go!
Todd:
that's going to be very expensive
Trump:
illegals cost money
and
are they are all
criminals
Todd:
well not all of themselves
Trump:
my mass deportation of
11
million people will go so well
you
will be so happy
Todd:
I will?
Trump:
you interview me in
four
years saying President
Trump
you are so awesome
Todd:
maybe
Trump:
I am a super-genius of all time
Todd:
is that right?
Trump:
if you are a conservative
you
can't get on tv at all ever
Todd:
you've been on my
show
three weeks running
Trump:
I mean like good tv stupid
Todd:
you are a racist who
said
Obama wasn't born here
Trump:
no one has seen his records
Todd:
you're kidding
Trump:
I mean his college records
–
we
need to see them to judge him!
Todd:
okay let's
see your college records
Trump:
you don't understand
–
Obama is black
Todd:
you would you ban
your
administration from
becoming
lobbyists
Trump:
Jeb Bush is a
puppet
of rich people!
Todd:
what about lobbyists?
Trump:
sure why not
Todd:
what is a living
wage?
Trump:
we need to the minimum
wage
low because of airplanes
Todd:
now you're just uttering
nonsense
to see if I'll notice
Trump:
maybe I am Ted
Todd:
what about statehood
for DC
Trump:
I have a conflict
of interest
because
I'm turning the beautiful
Old
Post
Office
building
into a
hotel
with gold fixtures
Todd:
that sounds about right
Trump:
I love the people of DC
–
whatever
they want is fine with me
Todd:
when was the last time
America was great?
Trump:
REAGAN
Todd:
in 1987 you took out a
full
page ad saying the world was
laughing
at America under Ronald Reagan
Trump:
well that was true
but
Reagan was a good actor
Todd:
so it's you don't
care
about policy just image
Trump:
exactly!
Todd:
are you secretly an
independent
or perhaps sent
from
the future to destroy the GOP?
Trump:
I'm a Republican – for
now
Todd:
so why
not rule
out
an independent run?
Trump:
I believe in leverage Tad
Todd:
you say the
Trump
is
just a show
Trump:
right
Todd:
are we all being
used
in the Trump Reality Show?
Trump:
you use me for high ratings Chuck
Todd:
that's true
Trump:
America is a third-world nation!
[
break ]
Todd:
at least he's consistent on
trade
Ball:
sure blue-collar people are
upset
over international trade
Todd:
we want to the post-WWII era back!
Ball:
the little people
want
someone
strong and tough
Todd:
he's a nationalist
Greenfield:
he's too rich to be
bought
or stolen and people like that
Strassel:
who else is doing well
in
the polls –
Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina
– people
want an outsider
Todd:
right
Strassel:
for example
four years
ago
Herman Cain led in the
polls
Todd:
so we should ignore Trump?
Stassel:
no because Trump
is
rich and famous and white
Robinson:
he's funny and he
pulls
away the curtain on
politics
and people love that
[
break ]
Todd:
Bernie you are amazing
–
why
are so popular
Sanders:
wealth inequality is grotesque
Todd:
true but what can you do?
Sanders:
the middle class has
collapsed
and the top 1% are
getting
all the money
Todd:
that's good for me
Sanders:
and the rich use
their
money to buy politicians
Todd:
you deny Trump and you are
the same
Sanders:
because we're
not
Todd:
but you are the same!
Sanders:
no!
Todd:
tell me how you are the
same
Sanders:
I'm raising money
from
millions of poor people
and
he's got one rich asshole
backing
him – himself
Todd:
tell me about Black Lives
Matter
Sanders:
I'm reaching out to
latinos
and old people and union workers
Todd:
what about black lives
matter?
Sanders:
BLM is raising a
very
important issue and
I will
fight
for prison reformation
Todd:
you apologized to BLM
Sanders:
no I didn't
Todd:
Martin O'Malley said
you're
not a real Democrat
Sanders:
I've been with the
Democratic
caucus for 25 years
but
let me tell you people are
sick
and tired of politics as usual
Todd:
how will you win?
Sanders:
I will get angry
young
people to the polls
Todd:
would you scrap the ACA?
Sanders:
we spend more
and
get less than any other
country
Todd:
sounds about right
Sanders:
Medicare is popular and
it
works and we can make it universal
Todd:
Joe Biden – do
you welcome
him in the
race?
Sanders:
I promise him an
issue-oriented campaign
Todd:
does he help or hurt your
campaign?
Sanders:
well it doesn't help –
duh
[
break ]
Todd:
there are passive voice
growing
concerns about Hillary's
Todd:
You
Won't
Believe
what happened when we
looking for people who hate Hillary
Todd:
oh look we want to the Iowa
State fair and found some people
willing to bash Hillary on camera!
Voter:
I used to love Hillary
but now I find her elitist
Todd:
there are rising
concerns
about Hillary
Todd:
please bash Hillary for
me
Voter:
I have concerns
Clinton:
this is a partisan witch hunt
Todd:
but voters are concerned
Voter:
I am concerned
Todd:
Clinton and Bush are the same
Voter:
now Gore may jump in oooh
Harkin:
she's doing better
than
four years ago when she sucked
Robinson:
the Justice department
is
looking at her e-mails which doesn't help
Todd:
I was stunned at how
easily
I found people wanting
to
bash Hillary when I looked
for
them until I found them
Strassel:
this story has not gone
away
which is why the media has
to
cover the story which won't go away
Ball:
Obama is no drama
and
the Clinton team is all drama
Todd:
team Clinton is fighting back!
Greenfield:
Governors use
private
e-mails but they never
deal
with classified information
Todd:
actually they do
Greenfield:
but Clinton is tin-eared!
Todd:
okay
Greenfield:
in any case Bill is
a
better campaigner
Greenfield:
also political reporters
need
to switch to decaf
Todd:
would it be good for
the
GOP if Joe Biden runs
Strassel:
Clinton is getting a
coronation
and also she's doomed
Todd:
looks at the fresh polls –
Trump
is at 25% and Carson
and
Cruz trail just behind
Robinson:
I called it after the debate!
Todd:
if you add Trump and Carson
and
Cruz you've got almost half the vote
Greenfield:
polls are ridiculous
it's
like reading entrails
Todd:
are political pundits
bored
and insane?
Ball:
sure but Donald Fucking
Trump
is getting 25% support!
Todd:
I know!
Ball:
I mean what if he actually wins!
Todd:
that's my hunch
Todd:
I ate $50 worth of friend food
Todd:
I eated a fried twinkie
and
fried mac and cheese and
fried
apple pie and a pork chop
on
a stick and that was just breakfast
Todd:
and everything had bacon on it
Robinson:
I love bacon
–
heck
we all love bacon
Todd:
and that's another
episode
of Meet the Press
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