Guests:
Donald
Trump
Reince
Priebus
Debbie
Wasserman-Schultz
Charles
Ramsey –
Philadelphia
Chief of Police
Dr.
Ben Carson
Chris
Matthews - MSNBC
Helene
Cooper - NYT
Kathleen
Parker – Washington Post
Gerald
Seib – WSJ
Todd:
I'm Chuck Todd and
welcome
to Meet the Press
Todd:
this is not your average sleepy Sunday!
Todd:
if you love politics or are
a
junkie this is the show for you
Todd:
holy shit Joe Biden might run for President!
Todd:
and great news for Donald
Trump
- he's in first place with 19 percent
Paul:
Christie, Perry, Cruz, Huckabee,
and
Kasich are all the single digits
Todd:
not everyone gets
into the debate
Todd:
Trump will be in the
center
flanked
by his backup singers
Scott
Walker and Jeb Bush
Todd:
Chris Christie
ekes out the
last
place but Rick Perry
is out
because
the debate doesn't go to 11
Todd:
Trump is downplaying
expectations
Trump:
I'm not a master debater
Todd:
Kasich says the
debate is
like
a getting into a
NASCAR
race
with a driver who's drunk
Walker:
I'm gonna ignore Trump
Todd:
you can't ignore
Trump!
Todd:
candidates will only have
60
seconds to answer which
plays
to
the strengths of a man whose
entire
campaign is offensive soundbites
Christie:
I will punch Donald Trump!
[
break ]
Todd:
Donald Trump has deigned
to
talk to us on the phone
Todd:
welcome Mr Trump
Trump:
make it quick Eddie – I'm busy
Todd:
why are you so popular?
Trump:
I have a wonderful life
and
am very rich and very classy
Todd:
okay
Trump:
the hispanic types
in particular
love
me because I am big
tipper
Todd:
you also have
the
highest
unfavorable rating
Trump:
I am very popular in Iowa and
New
Hampshire and Nevada
and everywhere
Todd:
you downplayed your
expectations
which you usually
never do
Trump:
well I'm not a master
debater
Todd:
I'm not either I
swear
Trump:
I want to be real and
fabulous
and I just want to
be me
Todd:
you do you
Trump:
I have to be me
Todd:
who is you?
Trump:
an ignorant buffoonish asshole
Todd:
but authentic
Trump:
I don't have pollsters
or
donors or ideas
Todd:
you sure are
different
Trump:
I think I know the
subjects
but I don't know
Todd:
how would you advise
people
to debate you?
Trump:
I'm a nice guy!
Todd:
of course you are
Trump:
people say that all the time!
Todd:
so you won't attack first?
Trump:
no I'd rather discuss the issues
but
I read that my
opponents have
pollsters
who
are feeding them
lines to attack me
Todd:
bastards
Trump:
in which case I will
have
to point out they have
poultry
manure in their heads
Todd:
when are we going to see
a
single specific
proposal from you?
Trump:
I specific plans which
will
set the country back
Todd:
good to know
Trump:
we have to take back
jobs
from Japan and Vietnam
Todd:
all right
Trump:
real unemployment is 21%
and
it's very unfair that
the media
never
reports that Obama started
the
recession in 2007
Todd:
I see
Trump:
we need more jobs
and
we also need good-paying
jobs
Todd:
you have so many good ideas
Trump:
we need to restore
our manufacturing base
Todd:
what's your opinion
on Biden or Clinton?
Trump:
Hillary is the worst
Secretary
of State in U.S. history
Todd:
not Calhoun?
Trump:
what she did is worse
than
General Petraeus so she belongs in jail
Todd:
of course
Trump:
she would be easy
for
me to beat
especially if she's
in prison
Todd:
what about white cops
shooting
unarmed black people
– is
that a crisis in America?
Trump:
we need to give power
back
to the police because
crime
is rampant
Todd:
actually
it isn't
Trump:
cities need strong police!
Todd:
what more powers to
police
need that they don't have
– to
kill on sight?
Trump:
police jobs' are being
taken away from them!
Todd:
oh okay
Trump:
there is turmoil in our country!
Todd:
can you understand why
black
people
don't
trust police?
Trump:
maybe a
little but we have
to
give power back to the police!
Todd:
that's your answer?
Trump:
and we must have law and order!
Todd:
somewhere dogs are howling
Trump:
we must give strength and
power
and control back to the police
Dogs:
oooooowwwwww
Trump:
we have a tremendous crime
wave
and killing wave across America!
Trump:
there's always going to
be
bad apples but we must give
police
power to kill anyone anywhere
or
we'll have total chaos!
[
break ]
Todd:
welcome Reince Priebus
Todd:
you want Trump to pledge
not
to run as a third-party candidate
Priebus:
it only makes sense if
you're
running for the Republican nomination
Todd:
is Donald Trump hurting
the
image of the Republican party?
Priebus:
Trump has nothing to
do
with the Republican party
Todd:
you wish
Priebus:
we'll have nominee by March or April
Todd:
that would be a quick nomination
Priebus:
I'm hopeful
Todd:
so best case
scenario
you're
stuck with Trump for the
next
eight months
Priebus:
oh god [start
sobbing ]
Todd:
you tried to take control
over
the debate process and it's total chaos
Priebus:
this happens all the time
– Jon
Huntsman didn't make a debate
Todd:
who?
Priebus:
the RNC
got
a say in
who
the moderators are – we win!
Todd:
uh-huh
Priebus:
the media are private
entities
– what can we do?
[
break ]
Todd:
Trump is trying to be a nice guy
Matthews:ha!
Todd:
it's like he's setting us up and trump us by being reasonable
Parker:
right – he's playing
with media expectations
Jeb:
Trump has tapped into the anger that we don't enforce laws in America
Todd:
Trump is toning it down and now
Jeb is toning down the anti-Trump rhetoric
Cooper:
it's so weird – Jeb wants Trump
to be crazy so he can look
reasonable
Parker:
but if Trump comes out looking moderate he's going to make Jeb fade
into the background like beige wallpaper
Todd:
conservatives think Jeb is a wimp
Seib:
can anyone take on Trump without alienating his supporters?
Todd:
who are his supporters?
Seib:
authoritarian frustrated angry white men
Matthews:
it's not just angry white men
– it's people like me who feel the
elites
have betrayed the little guy
Parker:
everyone will attack Trump and not Jeb Bush
Todd:
we shall see
Todd:
OMG Joe Biden is thinking of running for President!
Todd:
Hillary's numbers are dropping and Biden is more popular than ever!
Todd:
is there room for the Vice
President to run?
Wasserman-Schultz:
well sure but
give him some space – his son just died
Todd:
he's a potential candidate!
Wasserman-Schultz:
of course
Todd:
what do you make us Bernie Sanders?
Wasserman-Schultz:
all Democrats speak to issues popular with the American people
Todd:
okay
Wasserman-Schultz:
Republicans think Mexicans are rapists and would use
Americans
soldiers to shoot women
trying to get an abortion
Todd:
what is the difference between a Democrat and a socialist?
Wasserman-Schultz:
Democrat want to help the middle class and the GOP is going to
nominate a crazed billionaire
Todd:
right
Wasserman-Schultz:
they hate gays and
abortion and immigrants and poor people
Todd:
when are the Democratic debates?
Wasserman-Schultz:
soon
Todd:
what about August?
Wasserman-Schultz:
nothing
ever happens in August!
[
break ]
Todd:
why didn't she answer my
question on what socialism is?
Matthews:
they don't want to alienate
Bernie
Sanders' crazy socialist supporters
Matthews:
it's harder to explain
progressivism
and than being conservative
where
you just hate everything
and if you
don't want to invade
other countries you're Hitler
Todd:
is Biden going to run?
Cooper:
it's one thing to talk
to
your family about running
and
it's another to actually run
Todd:
are Democrats getting
nervous about Hillary?
Seib:
some family members want
him
to run but others don't want
his
career to end on a loss
Todd:
is Hillary planting these
stories
to smoke Biden out?
Parker:
oooh that would be so sneaky
Todd:
I love it!
Parker:
people like Joe Biden precisely
because
he's not running
Matthews:
don't underestimate
Joe
Biden – he's not just a cuddly grandpa
Todd:
he's feels ready to be President
[
break ]
Todd:
welcome Chief Ramsey
Todd:
yet again a body cam
shows
a white a cop killing
an
unarmed black man
Todd:
suddenly everyone agrees
cops
should wear body cameras
Ramsey:
I agree but it's pretty expensive
Todd:
have we been recruiting unstable
wackos
and giving them guns?
Ramsey:
in retrospect that
might
have been a bad idea
Todd:
why would a young
black
person want to be cop?
Ramsey:
that's good question
Todd:
so much for diversity
Ramsey:
I became a cop during the
turmoil
of the 60s and my friends
thought
I was nuts
Todd:
and look at you now
Ramsey:
right now cops have
a
bad image across America
Todd:
how do you fix that?
Ramsey:
we never hear about
all
the people cops don't murder
Todd:
good point
Ramsey:
we need get rid of
cops
who are in the job to kill people
Todd:
do cops lie to protect other cops?
Ramsey:
well sure but that happens
in
other professions all the time –
doctors
commit perjury for other
doctors
who kill people
Todd:
they do?
Ramsey:
lawyers cover for other lawyers
who
frame innocent people and journalists
even
provide cover for unethical
reporters
in rival organizations
Todd:
touche!
[
break ]
Todd:
there's another crazy
non-politician
running for President
Todd:
how crazy is he? He was once
played
in a movie by Cuba Gooding Jr
Todd:
what do want to
accomplish in the debate?
Carson:
people always ask me
to look
at their rash and I hope to
be asked about
things like ISIS
and not just that lump
in your neck
Todd:
you and Donald Trump
are
both not politicians –
does
he help or hurt you?
Carson:
he helps me because
he's so crazy he makes me look sane
Todd:
I see
Carson:
I hope he keeps saying nutty things
Todd:
you called Black Lives Matter silly
Carson:
it's political correctness run amok!
Todd:
there's a phrase I haven't heard in a while
Carson:
but it's bad that the number
one
cause of death for a young black man is homicide
Todd:
but wait I thought all lives matter
Carson:
they do
Todd:
but you brought up black men
– isn't
that being politically correct?
Carson:
I always like to point out
to
people what if we removed the
police
for 24 hours there would be chaos
Todd:
wow I never thought of that –
you
are so wise to point out to people
we
shouldn't get rid of all police
Carson:
right we need to be more mature
Carson:
if a plumber does a bad
job
do we say let's go kill all plumbers?
Todd:
whoa calm down Ben
Carson:
I'm against plumber-murder
Todd:
do you support amnesty for immigrants?
Carson:
I know some idiots say
we
got to round em up all they have
no
idea what they are talking about
Todd:
you're soft on immigrants
Carson:
look I'd love to arrest 11 million
people
but it would be too expensive
Todd:
so what's your plan?
Carson:
we should allow immigrants
to
be permanent guest workers
Todd:
interesting idea
Carson:
that way we would have all
the
benefits of their labor but they
would
have none of the rights
Todd:
it's a win-win
Carson:
if the guest workers
want
citizenship they have to get
behind
everyone else in the world
Todd:
that's amnesty
Carson:
maybe but it's practical
Todd:
does the Bible have
authority
over the Constitution?
Carson:
it would be depend on
which
passage of the Bible you're
talking
about and which part of the Constitution
Todd:
it would?
Carson:
like are we talking about
one
of the important passages or
one
of the ones we all ignore
Todd:
I think I understand
Carson:
like supposedly god
banned
shellfish but that was before
they
invented lobster in melted butter
Todd:
you can't say no to that
Carson:
or the ban on cruel and unusual
punishment which was written
before
we found out waterboarding protects
us from balsa wood planes carrying anthrax
Todd:
those are all good points
[
break ]
Todd:
don't count out Donald Trump –
this
country elected Arnold Schwarzenegger
and
Jesse Ventura
Parker:
if I were Jeb Bush I would
continue
to be Ronald Reagan
Matthews:
Donald Trump should
be
careful – Megan Kelly will cut you
Cooper:
I can't believe this
is
actually happening
Seib:
do we really want Donald
Trump
with his finger on the button?
Todd:
the Cold War is over Gerry
Seib:
if we put Trump in charge of
getting
ISIS we'll end up with 75,000
troops
in the middle east
Todd:
that's what Republican voters want!
Seib:
oh shit
Todd:
what happened to media
darlings
Marco Rubio and Rand Paul?
Parker:
Trump happened
Matthews:
someone will pick up
Trump's
voters when he implodes
Todd:
who gets his votes?
Matthews:
Kasich or Walker
Todd:
you're a whig!
Matthews:
no!
Todd:
yes you are! You're a whig!
Matthews:
ha!
Todd:
and that's another
episode
of Meet The Press
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