Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Rep. Lou Barletta (R-PA)
Stephanopoulos: good morning Senator Reid
Reid: hi George
Stephanopoulos: can you getting anything
done in the next two years?
Reid: yes – we can do immigration reform
because Republicans are suddenly
scared of the Latinos
Stephanopoulos: but President Rubio
wants to close the border
Reid: we will do that – in Canada
Stephanopoulos: President Rubio wants
total control of the border
Reid: I welcome his input and
inivte him to kiss my ass
Stephanopoulos: can we let gay people
immigrate to America?
Reid: how else will we get people
to watch the Tony Awards?
Stephanopoulos: the GOP are afraid the
Democrats won't pass immigration reform
Reid: that's not fair – when I was a child in
Nevada the only hispanics I knew fought
in the Mexican-American war and all that's changed
Stephanopoulos: where do you stand on guns?
Reid: when I was a little boy I had lots of guns
Reid: I put myself through law school performing
with Buffalo Bill Cody and Annie Oakley
Stephanopoulos: I did not know that
Reid: I once shot a hippie in Reno
Stephanopoulos: why did you do that
Reid: just to watch him tie-dye
Stephanopoulos: would you vote for a
ban on assault weapons?
Reid: no but we might be able to enact
ineffective background checks
Stephanopoulos: what about banning
high capacity magazines?
Reid: we already got rid of Newsweek
Stephanopoulos: does anyone need a
military-style assault weapon?
Reid: babies were killed in Newton so
I get people are all emotional about all this
Stephanopoulos: has the NRA
become a bunch of extremists nuts?
Reid: Wayne LaPierre is a good friend of mine
Stephanopoulos: so there will be no action
in Washington on guns at all?
Reid: gee whiz we have to track people with mental illnesses
Stephanopoulos: including members of Congress?
Reid: ha good one
Stephanopoulos: is the disastrous
sequester going to happen?
Reid: we already cut a trillion dollars
Stephanopoulos: it's not enough
Reid: let's just do everything Mitt Romney wanted
Reid: America is not going to
collapse until August
Stephanopoulos: the GOP won't
agree to any more tax increases
Reid: fuck em
Stephanopoulos: such language
Reid: darn shootin'
Stephanopoulos: are you
demanding more taxes?
Reid: yes I am George –
we already cut 2 trillion spending!
Stephanopoulos: you won't agree
to a budget without higher taxes?
Reid: the American people are on my side
Stephanopoulos: you called Boehner
a dictator and he said 'go fuck yourself'
Reid: I was the good Cop and
Joe Biden was the Good Cop
Stephanopoulos: what are you now?
Reid: I'm the cool Maverick Cop
Stephanopoulos: incredibly Republicans
did not support Obama's nominee again
Reid: yes we were all shocked
by this turn of events
Stephanopoulos: but he was shaky
Reid: give the guy a break –
he was in Vietnam and was really stressed
Stephanopoulos: Bob Menendez is
in a spot of trouble
Reid: I love that hispanic guy
Stephanopoulos: so you support him?
Reid: yes until they find out what he did
Stephanopoulos: how will this Congress be remembered?
Reid: by the Great Zoo Incident of 2014
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Senator
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Jorge can we get
immigration reform done?
Ramos: maybe – which is kind of incredible
Ramos: this is not amnesty!
Stephanopoulos: Congressman you hate immigrants
Barletta: exactly – would replace
your carpet with a hole in your roof?
Stephanopoulos: deportations are up and
crossings are down
Barletta: yes but Obama prohibits agents
from enforcing the law because he loves illegals
Stephanopoulos: Bush failed to get immigration reform
Dowd: he also failed to get Social Security reform
Stephanopoulos: that's true
Dowd: there are 50 million hispanics
in this country and the GOP needs
to get behind this reform now
Krugman: hello stupid – immigration happens
and we are not going to expel 10 million people
Stephanopoulos: probably not
Krugman: the GOP is doomed if they
are the party of old white people
Fiorina: Democrats hate immigrants
Stephanopoulos: please continue
Fiorina: I hope Democrats stop being racists
Ramos: Obama deported more immigrants
than anyone ever
Barletta: most immigrants don't cross a border
– they are beamed in by a transporter
Krugman: who is this idiot?
Fiorina: If Obama cheats by being popular
he will make the GOP act crazy and
the bill's failure will be all his fault
Barletta: brown people are very scary
Krugman: this man is a moron
Barletta: what about the legal
hispanic folk I also depsise
Fiorina: common sense says we should
fix problems and put a failed CEO
on television every week
Krugman: I give up
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone