Guests:
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Rep. Lou Barletta
(R-PA)
Jorge Ramos
Paul Krugman
Carly Fiorina
*****************************
Stephanopoulos: good
morning Senator Reid
Reid: hi George
Stephanopoulos: can you
getting anything
done in the next two
years?
Reid: yes – we can do
immigration reform
because Republicans are
suddenly
scared of the Latinos
Stephanopoulos: but
President Rubio
wants to close the border
Reid: we will do that –
in Canada
Stephanopoulos: President
Rubio wants
total control of the
border
Reid: I welcome his input
and
inivte him to kiss my ass
Stephanopoulos: can we let
gay people
immigrate to America?
Reid: how else will we get
people
to watch the Tony Awards?
Stephanopoulos: the GOP
are afraid the
Democrats won't pass
immigration reform
Reid: that's not fair –
when I was a child in
Nevada the only hispanics
I knew fought
in the Mexican-American
war and all that's changed
Stephanopoulos: where do
you stand on guns?
Reid: when I was a little
boy I had lots of guns
Stephanopoulos: wow
Reid: I put myself through
law school performing
with Buffalo Bill Cody and
Annie Oakley
Stephanopoulos: I did not
know that
Reid: I once shot a hippie
in Reno
Stephanopoulos: why did
you do that
Reid: just to watch him
tie-dye
Stephanopoulos: would you
vote for a
ban on assault weapons?
Reid: no but we might be
able to enact
ineffective background
checks
Stephanopoulos: what about
banning
high capacity magazines?
Reid: we already got rid
of Newsweek
Stephanopoulos: does
anyone need a
military-style assault
weapon?
Reid: babies were killed
in Newton so
I get people are all
emotional about all this
Stephanopoulos: has the
NRA
become a bunch of
extremists nuts?
Reid: Wayne LaPierre is a
good friend of mine
Stephanopoulos: so there
will be no action
in Washington on guns at
all?
Reid: gee whiz we have to
track people with mental illnesses
Stephanopoulos: including
members of Congress?
Reid: ha good one
Stephanopoulos: is the
disastrous
sequester going to happen?
Reid: we already cut a
trillion dollars
in spending!
Stephanopoulos: it's not
enough
Reid: let's just do
everything Mitt Romney wanted
Stephanopoulos: hmmmm
Reid: America is not going
to
collapse until August
Stephanopoulos: the GOP
won't
agree to any more tax
increases
Reid: fuck em
Stephanopoulos: such
language
Reid: darn shootin'
Stephanopoulos: are you
demanding more taxes?
Reid: yes I am George –
we already cut 2 trillion
spending!
Stephanopoulos: you won't
agree
to a budget without higher
taxes?
Reid: the American people
are on my side
Stephanopoulos: you called
Boehner
a dictator and he said 'go
fuck yourself'
Reid: I was the good Cop
and
Joe Biden was the Good Cop
Stephanopoulos: what are
you now?
Reid: I'm the cool
Maverick Cop
Stephanopoulos: incredibly
Republicans
did not support Obama's
nominee again
Reid: yes we were all
shocked
by this turn of events
Stephanopoulos: but he was
shaky
Reid: give the guy a break
–
he was in Vietnam and was
really stressed
Stephanopoulos: Bob
Menendez is
in a spot of trouble
Reid: I love that hispanic
guy
Stephanopoulos: so you
support him?
Reid: yes until they find
out what he did
Stephanopoulos: how will
this Congress be remembered?
Reid: by the Great Zoo
Incident of 2014
Stephanopoulos: thanks for
coming Senator
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Jorge can
we get
immigration reform done?
Ramos: maybe – which is
kind of incredible
Stephanopoulos: wow
Ramos: this is not
amnesty!
Stephanopoulos:
Congressman you hate immigrants
Barletta: exactly –
would replace
your carpet with a hole in
your roof?
Stephanopoulos:
deportations are up and
crossings are down
Barletta: yes but Obama
prohibits agents
from enforcing the law
because he loves illegals
Stephanopoulos: Bush
failed to get immigration reform
Dowd: he also failed to
get Social Security reform
Stephanopoulos: that's
true
Dowd: there are 50 million
hispanics
in this country and the
GOP needs
to get behind this reform
now
Krugman: hello stupid –
immigration happens
and we are not going to
expel 10 million people
Stephanopoulos: probably
not
Krugman: the GOP is doomed
if they
are the party of old white
people
Fiorina: Democrats hate
immigrants
Stephanopoulos: please
continue
Fiorina: I hope Democrats
stop being racists
Ramos: Obama deported more
immigrants
than anyone ever
Barletta: most immigrants
don't cross a border
– they are beamed in by
a transporter
Krugman: who is this
idiot?
Fiorina: If Obama cheats
by being popular
he will make the GOP act
crazy and
the bill's failure will be
all his fault
Barletta: brown people are
very scary
Krugman: this man is a
moron
Barletta: what about the
legal
hispanic folk I also
depsise
Fiorina: common sense says
we should
fix problems and put a
failed CEO
on television every week
Krugman: I give up
Stephanopoulos: thanks for
coming everyone
*******************************
No comments:
Post a Comment