Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Rep.
Tom Cole (R-OK)
Jonathan Karl
Stephanie Cutter
Nicolle Wallace
************************
Stephanopoulos:
OMG it snowed in Boston!
Audience:
gahwd
Stephanopoulos:
what about the
State
of the Union Address?
Karl:
it will be about jobs, the middle class,
guns
and solar panels
Stephanopoulos:
ever since Obama won
re-election
he's become an arrogant bastard
Karl:
Obama will call for cutting
entitlements
by arguring they crowd out
spending
on education and other
things
hippies like
Ellison:
we will invite victims of
gun
violence to the Capitol
Stephanopoulos:
can they bring their guns?
Ellison:
No
Cole:
we may be able to get a law
requiring
background checks on
mental
health – but no national registry
or
any limits on the right to buy a gun
Stephanopoulos:
then what's the point
of
the background check?
Cole:
we just want to know who in
America
is crazy and not already in Congress
Ellison:
even NRA members
want
background checks!
Stephanopoulos:
Obama is not as popular
as
Ronald Reagan or Honey Boo Boo
Cutter:
Obama can finally tell the whole
nation
we need to make tough choices
Wallace:
Obama gave a mean nasty
combative
Inaugural Address and
Republicans
are finally ready to stop
being
so nice and accomodating to Obama
Karl:
ha ha
Wallace:
Marco Rubio will engage in
an
epic battle of idea by also saying
he
loves the middle class
Cutter:
the inaugural address was a
bunch
of popular and necessary ideas
Stephanopoulos:
people don't care
about
guns or climate change
Stephanopoulos:
the sequester was
considered
totally unacceptable
so
of course now it will happen
Cole:
the sequester was all Obama's idea
and
he won't offer an alternative
Stephanopoulos:
you are not willing
to
compromise at all
Cole:
true because that would
mean
compromising
Ellison:
dude you voted for
sequester
and I voted against it
Cole:
Ralph you can use facts
to prove anything
Ellison:
the sequester will put 600,000
people
out of work, raise the debt,
hurt
businesses, and increase uncertainty
Cole:
a small price to pay for cutting the debt
Ellison:
it will increase the debt!
Cole:
a small price to pay
Karl:
there is no chance of a deal
at
all because the GOP loves the
sequester
because they are finally
getting
spending cuts after all these years
Wallace:
the American people are
sick
of big spending in Washington
– even
the Pentagon!
Karl:
amazingly even Republicans
admit
the defense budget can be cut
Wallace:
that's true as long as we
have
enough guns
Stephanopoulos:
but won't sequester
cause
a recession?
Cutter:
yes - it's insane
Stephanopoulos:
what's Obama's plan?
Cutter:
he proposed a budget plan
two
years ago – it's balanced
Cole:
Obama does not have a
proposal
on the table
Cutter:
yes he does
Cole:
no he doesn't
Ellison:
this will cops firefighters
and
teachers to lose their jobs
Cutter:
no sane person wants these
cuts
to actually happen
Cole:
I do
Cutter:
10,000 teachers will lose their jobs
Wallace:
stop crying you crybabies
Stephanopoulos:
also the U.S.
Government
is about to run out of money
Karl:
that's the real battle – should
we
even have a government??
Stephanopoulos:
Who is the Republican
savior
– Marco Rubio, Rand Paul
or
Bobby Jindal?
Cole:
Republicans did really
well
in 2012 elections!
Stephanopoulos:
well not really
Cole:
we have to stop being
the
Party of Morons and become
the
Party of Dead Rap Stars
Wallace:
Marco Rubio knows
George
H.W. Bush and he is is a working dad
who
is also in touch with Tupac
Ellison:
I don't care if he wrote
Ambitionz
as a Ridah
Wallace:
Obama stole his immigration
plan
from Rubio
Cole:
Rubio is leading at great
risk
to himself – Obama is not leading!
Cutter:
that's another lie
Cole:
nevertheless
Cutter:
will the GOP endorse
Rubio's
brave immigration bill?
Cole:
don't talk crazy
Stephanopoulos:
is Chris Christie
too
fat to be President?
Karl:
Chris Christie is the greatest
Governor
in America
Stephanopoulos:
true
Karl:
but he should lose weight –
he
could America's next
adorable
biggest loser
Wallace:
he should stop yelling at
people
to shut up – that sort of thing
may
fly in New Jersey but not in
Washington
where people say
they
respect you then stab you in the back
Stephanopoulos:
but not literally
Wallce:
well no
Stephanopoulos:
so it's even more
different
from New Jersey
Wallace:
touche George
**********************************
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