Host: Jonathan Karl
Guests:
Denis McDonough – White
House Chief of Staff
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
*********************************
Karl: President Rubio
doesn't like Senator
Obama's immigration plan
McDonough: I am so sad
Karl: let's be honest –
President Rubio
is not going to give
Senator Obama
permission to propose this
bill
McDonough: as long as
we're being
honest - you're a moron
Karl: but has Senator
Obama even
consulted with President
Rubio??
McDonough: he consults
with a lot of people
Karl: but not Emperor
Rubio
McDonough: tragic
Karl: is Obama willing to
grovel and
apologize to His Majesty
Rubio?
McDonough: no
Karl: well fuck you
McDonough: okay
Karl: if sequester goes
through will people
have to wait at airports?
McDonough: it's worse than
that –
it might create another
recession
and 13,000 teachers would
be hit and
also there will salmonella
in your food
Karl: but aren't
Republicans right about
everything because they
are the grown-up party
McDonough: you are so
ridiculous
Karl: but they are the
daddy party who
spend money on good things
like wars
and not marijuana and Pink
Floyd albums
McDonough: why did I take
this job –
damn you Obama!
Karl: the Senate won't
approve
your wacky liberal
anti-America former
Republican senator as
Secretary of Defense
McDonough: this is a
festival of stupid
Karl: John Boehner says
Obama doesn't
have the guts to eliminate
Medicare
McDonough: He proposed
cuts
in his State of the Union
speech!
Karl: thanks for coming
Phil
McDonough: Denis
Karl: whatever
[ break ]
Karl: welcome Rep. Ryan -
will you
please bash Obama for me
Ryan: reluctantly I must
do so –
Obama proposed a popular
immigration plan
just to make Republicans
look bad
Karl: you are willing
support a
good immigration plan as
long as
Obama isn't behind it
Ryan: exactly – as with
with other sensible
laws we've always been
willing to support
them as long Obama does
not
Karl: is Congress even
trying to avoid
these disastrous sequester
cuts?
Ryan: they were Obama's
idea!
Karl: oh really
Ryan: Obama refused to cut
spending!
Karl: um that isn't true
Ryan: Republicans have
been fighting
for madatory spending cuts
but Obama
won't cut spending
Karl: so the sequester
spending cuts
were your idea after all?
Ryan: Obama made us do it!
Karl: I'm confused
Ryan: Obama won't cut
spending
so we had to
Karl: Senate Democrats
proposed an
alternative to the
horrible spending cuts
– will you support that?
Ryan: no because the debt
crisis means
we have to cut taxes for
rich people
and cut benefits for poor
people
Karl: so your bottom line
is lower
taxes for rich people
Ryan: that's right
Karl: are you really going
to propsose
a budget which balances
within 10 years
Ryan: yes because tax cuts
for
the rich are magic
Karl: that's helpful
Ryan: Debt crisis! Robbing
from
future generations!
Greece!
Karl: Karl Rove is taking
on the Tea Party
Ryan: never heard of him
Karl: do you encourage
speculation that
you are running for
President so
you can get on television
Ryan: you know me and how
pure I am
and my lifetime goal is to
pretend we have
a debt crisis and say the
only solution
is to cut taxes for rich
people
Karl: righty-o
Ryan: politicians in DC
spend too
much time on television
instead of
of doing their jobs –
it's outrageous
**********************************
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