Sunday, March 04, 2012

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 4, 2012

Howard Dean
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile

Stephanopoulos: wow could Mitt Romney
finally take this race?

Gingrich: No

Stephanopoulos: welcome Newt

Stephanopoulos: given no one likes you
how can you possibly win?

Gingrich: hey no one likes Mitt Romney either

Stephanopoulos: what else?

Gingrich: I promise not govern as a Muslim!

Stephanopoulos: you and Rick Santorum
are splitting the wacko vote

Gingrich: I will not allow Ricky to
out-crazy me!

Stephanopoulos: go on

Gingrich: he favors a minimum wage
much like a communist would

Stephanopoulos: will this long primary
fight hurt the eventual nominee?

Gingrich: hey Obama and Clinton
battled for months and he kicked
McCain’s ass

Stephanopoulos: good point

Gingrich: Obama is mean and but
I am a sadist!

Stephanopoulos: can you really give
America $2.00 a gallon gas?

Gingrich: yes because if oil was natural
gas it would cost $1.15 a gallon

Stephanopoulos: wow

Gingrich: Obama said publicly he wants
us to be enslaved to Saudi Arabia just
like all of Europe

Stephanopoulos: Rush Limbaugh says
preventive health care is for sluts

Gingrich: you are such an elitist George

Stephanopoulos: I am?

Gingrich: let’s be clear about this -
Obama wants to ban Catholicism

Stephanopoulos: oh

Gingrich: Sandra Fluke should go out
and buy her own damn sexytime pills

Stephanopoulos: ok

Gingrich: Vasectomies are the
work of the Devil!

Stephanopoulos: Was Limbaugh
right to apologize?

Gingrich: Obama apologized to Al-Qaeda!!

Stephanopoulos: so did Generals
on the ground

Gingrich: Obama wants the U.N. to put
American soldiers in jail!

Stephanopoulos: amazing

Gingrich: if those damn Afghans don’t
appreciate all we’ve done for them then
we should just fucking leave

Stephanopoulos: Obama told Iran
“I don’t bluff motherfuckers!”

Gingrich: Obama is so cowardly he’s
going to wait for evidence Iran is
getting the bomb instead of attacking first

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: David what if Israel attacks Iran?

Axelrod: Obama goes around the world
killing people - don’t fuck with him!

Stephanopoulos: Karl Rove says Obama
is weak and soft on Israel

Axelrod: Ask Osama bin Laden how
weak Obama is

Stephanopoulos: should Obama have
apologized for the Koran burning?

Axelrod: his the Commander in Chief
and is trying to save lives

Stephanopoulos: Obama wants
higher gas prices!

Axelrod: no he doesn’t but the President
doesn’t control the worldwide
free market in gas

Stephanopoulos: that’s no excuse

Axelrod: well it’s the truth

Stephanopoulos: Aren’t Rush Limbaugh
and President Obama equally to blame
for calling a student a slut?

Axelrod: every single woman in America
needs true comprehensive health insurance

Stephanopoulos: you’re no fun at all

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: I’m feeling Romneyentropy!

Will: the question is not can he win but
what the fuck is wrong with him

Stephanopoulos: Interesting

Dowd: If Santorum doesn’t win Ohio he
will have to go back crying about women
having sex on K Street

Dean: Watching this primary I haven’t
been this freaked out since I took the
brown acid at Woodstock

Noonan: The Republican candidates this time
are bloody insane but we gotta mellow out
[ sips martini ]

Dowd: we knew Mitt Romney would
have trouble getting conservatives but
we didn’t know he was such a dumbass

but no one can take
the nomination either

Dowd: because they are idiots!

Will: face we’re screwed

Noonan: who cares about the stupid
Presidency anyway
[ twizzles drink ]

Brazile: you’re funny Peggy

Dean: Obama will defeat the Army
of northern Virginia!

Stephanopoulos: Yeeeaaahhhh!!!!

No comments: