Gov. Jerry Brown (D-CA)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Gregory: President Obama personally
apologized to President Karzai for this apparently
inadvertent act of burning the Korans!
Santorum: a President should never apologize
should making a mistake if it was inadvertent
Santorum: no you say you made a mistake
and meant no disrespect but you are
definitely not sorry and do not apologize
Santorum: when you apologize you just make
people mad unlike when don’t apologize
which people love
Gregory: got it
Santorum: they should apologize to us!
Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: yes but should not tell anyone
in advance - we should just suddenly
leave in the middle of the night like
all my house guests do
Gregory: can you win lose Arizona?
Santorum: I love Jan Brewer's bravery in
standing up to that big bully Barack Obama
Gregory: I see
Santorum: this is a one-and-half-person race
Gregory: explain that
Santorum: Romney is a not a full
person - he is a cyborg
Gregory: what about Ron Paul?
Santorum: Paul made a deal with
Romney to destroy me!
Gregory: you really think that?
Santorum: how else to explain his
Gregory: he’s just crazy?
Santorum: I admit I can’t rule
that possibility out
Gregory: you say Obama is a snob
who hates decent people for
going to college
Santorum: Obama wants people to
go to college which are incredibly lefty
and politically correct and where you can’t
shout ethnic slurs which is the new McCarthyism
Gregory: unemployment for people who
went to college is only 4%
Santorum: look I have 7 kids and without
naming names not all of them
are college material if you know
what I mean
Gregory: hey if all else fails they
can become talk show hosts
Santorum: that would really would
shame my family
Gregory: ha ha
Santorum: look Obama is a snob who
looks down his nose at uneducated
Gregory: you voted for No Child Left Behind
and yelled at the debate audience
Santorum: shut up folks!
Gregory: do you often betray your conscience?
Santorum: Romney has no principles at all!
Gregory: we all know that
Santorum: all children should be home schooled!
Gregory: please continue
Santorum: kids should be left in the
woods to fend for themselves!
Gregory: you make unprincipled decisions
all the time apparently
Santorum: name one Fluffy!
Gregory: the steel bailout
Santorum: the Chinese were cheating
Santorum: I love what no bailouts did
to the Pennsylvania steel industry
Gregory: you would give manufacturing
a tax break but wouldn’t extend
Santorum: that’s different because manufacturers
have to compete internationally but
unemployed people are lazy
Gregory: John F. Kennedy said religious
views are private and politicians should
not impose religion on the
people or government
Santorum: he also said separation of
church and state should be absolute
which is horrible
Gregory: uh huh
Santorum: JFK said religious people should
be banned from the public and that’s not fair
Gregory: he said that?
Santorum: yes which means Kennedy
approved of slavery!
Gregory: I never knew any of this
Santorum: and now Obama wants
to ban religion!
Gregory: the Wall Street Journal says
you are a finger-wagging dolt
Santorum: Fluffy why are you asking me
about my religion?
Gregory: you talk about it all the time Frothy!
Santorum: yes because our nation is
falling apart because we must ban
contraception which leads
to out of wedlock births!
Gregory: you will not win an Oscar
or the Daytona 500
Santorum: the race is perfect because it’s
watching a bunch of white men crash and burn
while making left turns
[ break ]
Gregory: Jan Brewer will you endorse
Brewer: absolutely I am endorsing
Mitt Romney and will work really hard
to get him elected
Gregory: dear god - why?
Brown: he is by far the person who can win
Gregory: very well put
Brewer: I have never been party to
an election like this
Gregory: Jerry you ran for President in 1992
Brown: Go Ron Paul go!
Gregory: you say the GOP is committing
Brown: the GOP caused a recession and
started two wars and now they want to
take away women’s rights
Gregory: should we ban college as a
Brown: I like pipefitters!
Gregory: in 1978 you said and I quote
“I like Mexican-Americans!
Ten-Four good buddy! Groovy!”
Brown: I stand by that statement
Gregory: what about illegal immigrants?
Brown: we need a path to citizenship!
Gregory: Jan you have a law demanding
the papers of brown-looking people
Brewer: Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
Gregory: just answer the question
Brewer: Mexico is sending its
drug crimes to Flagstaff!
Gregory: sounds scary
Brewer: Mexicans have brought Extortion!
Brown: the dope comes up and
the dough goes down!
Gregory: why would you refuse to
testify on Capitol Hill about immigration?
Brewer: During the Oscars? Not a chance!
Gregory: Obama doesn’t want to
control the border! He wants to send
guns to drug criminals! He ignores murders!
Gregory: gas prices are very high
Brown: We need mass transit! And electric cars!
We must invent a car that runs on hemp!
Gregory: Is California ungovernable?
Brown: it’s still a state of freaks and weirdos!
I love it!
Gregory: thanks governors
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG Romney could
Todd: Democrats are going to vote
for Rick Santorum
Gregory: ha ha
Schmidt: Santorum is busy excusing his
big government votes and also his
Gregory: Kathleen you say voters don’t
want a sanctimonious asshole
Parker: Santorum’s best friends like
him but think he’s fucking crazy
and a little mean
Gregory: he says church and state
should be unified
Ford: I’m conservative but this
guy is a loon
Gregory: oh my
Ford: he won’t apologize for burning
a Koran but how would he feel if
people burned a Bible?
Gregory: can we get anyone else
in the Republican primary?
Todd: look I realize people hate
Romney and Santorum but it’s a
little late now
Gregory: a brokered convention
would be a lot of fun!
Schmidt: Excuse me? The delegates are
all going to be tea party wackos!
Gregory: Independents appear to
dislike Mitt Romney
Ford: I’m an independent and I like him
Gregory: so he’s got one supporter
Ford: hell no I don’t trust that
Gregory: Mitt Romney seem to not be
able to utter sentences like a human
Parker: he’s a dork but think of him as
a doctor who completely lacks a
bedside manner and who also advocates
returning to using leeches
Gregory: Steve you are a character in a
movie played by Woody Harrelson!
Schmidt: he gets Julianne Moore and
I got Sarah Palin
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press