Sunday, February 26, 2012

Meet The Press - February 26, 2012

Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Jerry Brown (D-CA)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Chuck Todd
Kathleen Parker
Harold Ford
Steve Schmidt
*****************************

Gregory: President Obama personally
apologized to President Karzai for this apparently
inadvertent act of burning the Korans!

Santorum: a President should never apologize
should making a mistake if it was inadvertent

Gregory: No?

Santorum: no you say you made a mistake
and meant no disrespect but you are
definitely not sorry and do not apologize

Gregory: right

Santorum: when you apologize you just make
people mad unlike when don’t apologize
which people love

Gregory: got it

Santorum: they should apologize to us!

Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan?

Santorum: yes but should not tell anyone
in advance - we should just suddenly
leave in the middle of the night like
all my house guests do

Gregory: can you win lose Arizona?

Santorum: I love Jan Brewer's bravery in
standing up to that big bully Barack Obama

Gregory: I see

Santorum: this is a one-and-half-person race

Gregory: explain that

Santorum: Romney is a not a full
person - he is a cyborg

Gregory: what about Ron Paul?

Santorum: Paul made a deal with
Romney to destroy me!

Gregory: you really think that?

Santorum: how else to explain his
bizarre behavior?

Gregory: he’s just crazy?

Santorum: I admit I can’t rule
that possibility out

Gregory: you say Obama is a snob
who hates decent people for
going to college

Santorum: Obama wants people to
go to college which are incredibly lefty
and politically correct and where you can’t
shout ethnic slurs which is the new McCarthyism

Gregory: unemployment for people who
went to college is only 4%

Santorum: look I have 7 kids and without
naming names not all of them
are college material if you know
what I mean

Gregory: hey if all else fails they
can become talk show hosts

Santorum: that would really would
shame my family

Gregory: ha ha

Santorum: look Obama is a snob who
looks down his nose at uneducated
white people

Gregory: you voted for No Child Left Behind
and yelled at the debate audience

Santorum: shut up folks!

Gregory: do you often betray your conscience?

Santorum: Romney has no principles at all!

Gregory: we all know that

Santorum: all children should be home schooled!

Gregory: please continue

Santorum: kids should be left in the
woods to fend for themselves!

Gregory: you make unprincipled decisions
all the time apparently

Santorum: name one Fluffy!

Gregory: the steel bailout

Santorum: the Chinese were cheating
at capitalism

Gregory: okay

Santorum: I love what no bailouts did
to the Pennsylvania steel industry

Gregory: you would give manufacturing
a tax break but wouldn’t extend
unemployment benefits

Santorum: that’s different because manufacturers
have to compete internationally but
unemployed people are lazy

Gregory: John F. Kennedy said religious
views are private and politicians should
not impose religion on the
people or government

Santorum: he also said separation of
church and state should be absolute
which is horrible

Gregory: uh huh

Santorum: JFK said religious people should
be banned from the public and that’s not fair

Gregory: he said that?

Santorum: yes which means Kennedy
approved of slavery!

Gregory: I never knew any of this

Santorum: and now Obama wants
to ban religion!

Gregory: the Wall Street Journal says
you are a finger-wagging dolt

Santorum: Fluffy why are you asking me
about my religion?

Gregory: you talk about it all the time Frothy!

Santorum: yes because our nation is
falling apart because we must ban
contraception which leads
to out of wedlock births!

Gregory: you will not win an Oscar
or the Daytona 500

Santorum: the race is perfect because it’s
watching a bunch of white men crash and burn
while making left turns

[ break ]

Gregory: Jan Brewer will you endorse
any candidates?

Brewer: absolutely I am endorsing
Mitt Romney and will work really hard
to get him elected

Gregory: dear god - why?

Brown: he is by far the person who can win

Gregory: very well put

Brewer: I have never been party to
an election like this

Gregory: Jerry you ran for President in 1992

Brown: Go Ron Paul go!

Gregory: you say the GOP is committing
political suicide

Brown: the GOP caused a recession and
started two wars and now they want to
take away women’s rights

Gregory: should we ban college as a
liberal conspiracy?

Brown: I like pipefitters!

Gregory: in 1978 you said and I quote
“I like Mexican-Americans!
Ten-Four good buddy! Groovy!”

Brown: I stand by that statement

Gregory: what about illegal immigrants?

Brown: we need a path to citizenship!

Gregory: Jan you have a law demanding
the papers of brown-looking people

Brewer: Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

Gregory: just answer the question

Brewer: Mexico is sending its
drug crimes to Flagstaff!

Gregory: sounds scary

Brewer: Mexicans have brought Extortion!
Torture! Kidnapping!

Brown: the dope comes up and
the dough goes down!

Gregory: why would you refuse to
testify on Capitol Hill about immigration?

Brewer: During the Oscars? Not a chance!

Gregory: Obama doesn’t want to
control the border! He wants to send
guns to drug criminals! He ignores murders!

Gregory: gas prices are very high

Brown: We need mass transit! And electric cars!
We must invent a car that runs on hemp!

Gregory: Is California ungovernable?

Brown: it’s still a state of freaks and weirdos!
I love it!

Gregory: thanks governors

Brown: dude!

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG Romney could
lose Michigan!

Todd: Democrats are going to vote
for Rick Santorum

Gregory: ha ha

Schmidt: Santorum is busy excusing his
big government votes and also his
crazy-ass beliefs

Gregory: Kathleen you say voters don’t
want a sanctimonious asshole

Parker: Santorum’s best friends like
him but think he’s fucking crazy
and a little mean

Gregory: he says church and state
should be unified

Ford: I’m conservative but this
guy is a loon

Gregory: oh my

Ford: he won’t apologize for burning
a Koran but how would he feel if
people burned a Bible?

Gregory: can we get anyone else
in the Republican primary?

Todd: look I realize people hate
Romney and Santorum but it’s a
little late now

Gregory: a brokered convention
would be a lot of fun!

Schmidt: Excuse me? The delegates are
all going to be tea party wackos!

Gregory: Independents appear to
dislike Mitt Romney

Ford: I’m an independent and I like him

Gregory: so he’s got one supporter

Ford: hell no I don’t trust that
flip-flopping robot

Gregory: Mitt Romney seem to not be
able to utter sentences like a human

Parker: he’s a dork but think of him as
a doctor who completely lacks a
bedside manner and who also advocates
returning to using leeches

Gregory: Steve you are a character in a
movie played by Woody Harrelson!

Schmidt: he gets Julianne Moore and
I got Sarah Palin

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***********************************

10 comments:

Sandy Underpants said...

thank-you

karl knox said...

Always been a fan. Takes the edge off the evil and the stupid nicely. Sincere thanks!

karl

strangefriend said...

"We must invent a car that runs on hemp!"


There already is one, it's called diesel.

Anonymous said...

too funny

Georgia said...

I just think you are crazy brilliant and read you every week.

racesite.pro said...

Thanks for the information keep sharing such informative post keep suggesting such post.
온라인경마

reelgame.site said...

Thanks for sharing such great information. It was really helpful to me. 릴게임


lalooth said...

l0t67q3s13 m6k88a9k38 m9a36k4z00 u2f64u1t14 y3h83f1r34 c0d50v5w71

tathea said...

h4y42x1n80 r0c87a9x77 h0p10j3b96 d6x60m2m66 y7a97y7b35 b9h00u7d52

Anonymous said...

l7v65v7h27 g4n53t0i54 w3i94o8z60 m7s33g0g51 z9r31f0j27 t7s55j2k23