Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Representative Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
****************************
Gregory: good morning Newt Gingrich
Gingrich: I have lost 4 out of 5 states and
am very happy where we are
Gregory: you are losing every state and
in every category
Gingrich: I am hoping to do well in Georgia
where I am from
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: the safety net should be a
trampoline made from real tramps!
Gregory: you spend all your time
complaining that Romney is mean
Gingrich: well he is!
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Obama has caused 13% unemployment
Gregory: ah
Gingrich: Obama is timid and should declare
war on Iran
Gregory: can you think of anything you don’t
like about Romney
Gingrich: he’s pro-abortion, pro-taxes,
anti-jobs, and his health care plan kills people
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I would save Social Security by
getting rid of it
Gregory: oh
Gingrich: I would boldly go where no man
has gone before
Gregory: fantastic
Gingrich: the minimum wage kills black people
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I will eliminate all taxes on everyone
Gregory: unemployment is dropping
Gingrich: that doesn’t include people who are
so depressed that a black guy is in the
White House they just stopped looking for work
Gregory: what if unemployment keeps dropping?
Gingrich: then we will blame Obama for the debt
and high gas prices
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: also Obama is to blame for all the
changes in the world over the past half century
except the good ones
Gregory: interesting
Gingrich: Obama has declared war on the
Catholic church
Gregory: He's launched drone attacks
on the Vatican?
Gingrich: Obama has seized all church properties
across the land
Gregory: he did?
Gingrich: Obama’s attacks on Orthodox Jews
is a profound moment in American history
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: true religious liberty means
controlling the government
Gregory: would there be religious freedom
on the moon?
Gingrich: yes for Christians
Gregory: but we are in an age of Austerity
Gregory: fuck you Fluffy
Gingrich: look I only said we need to go to the
moon to pander to some idiots in Florida
Gregory: but you yammer on about big spending
Gingrich: why do you hate America?
Gregory: I don’t hate most Americans
Gingrich: the Chinese are taking over
outer space
Gregory: do you loathe Mitt Romney as
much as it seems?
Gingrich: I refuse to answer such a silly
question about that lying motherfucker
Gregory: you like the Giants but New York
is the capital of media elite!
Gingrich: please allow me to pander to
the voters of Wisconsin
[ break ]
Gregory: unemployment is dramatically dropping
Daniels: Obama has failed to reverse the
job losses from the last Republican Presidency
so we should put another Republican
in the White House
Bloomberg: the economy is getting better
but the deficit is high
Gregory: oh noes!
Bloomberg: we must cut spending
and raise taxes
Gregory: so you’re saying raising taxes on
rich people is a bad idea
Bloomberg: look we’re all in this together and
since everyone benefits let’s not bicker about
who is fabulously rich and who is
struggling to survive
Patrick: we have to invest in America -
and by the way Massachusetts is kicking
job killing Indiana’s ass
Daniels: Barack Obama caused the recession
in 2007 and costs jobs ever since
Gregory: we’ve been adding jobs for
24 straight months
Daniels: lalalalalala I can’t hear you
Bloomberg: regardless of what happened in
the past we must not investigate what
caused the recession
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: on the other hand all Republicans
do is criticize which is no way to win
a football game
Gregory: Mitch your candidates suck
Daniels: that is true
Gregory: you may be stuck with Mitt Romney
Daniels: oh god [ sobs ]
Gregory: you must be happy Deval
Patrick: these GOP candidates frighten me
Gregory: Mayor you say you oppose
criminals using guns
Bloomberg: hey remember when a
Congresswoman got shot?
Gregory: oh yeah that was so inspiring
Bloomberg: no it was terrible
Gregory: I suppose you could see it that way
Bloomberg: more Americans have been shot
than were killed in World War II
Gregory: should we have a victory parade for
Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans
Bloomberg: the wars aren’t over Greggers
Gregory: maybe not but parades are fun
Gregory: the Super Bowl predicts the election!
Daniels: Fluffy you are a true idiot
[ break ]
Gregory: Romney is killing!
Brooks: the anti-catholic media is ignoring
Obama’s attack on all religious people
Maddow: people generally like birth control
Castellanos: Obama has taken away all
freedom of religion
Becerra: the Catholic church shouldn’t be
running insurance companies without
complying with the law
Brooks: Bureaucratic Greed!
Maddow: this isn’t about religion it’s about
insurance you dumbasses
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he doesn’t care
about the poor and Obama caused job losses
Castellanos: Obama is killing old people
Brooks: the real issue is the high debt
Becerra: yes by all means let’s put the assholes
back in charge!
Castellanos: the GOP cares about your paycheck
Becerra: so pass the payroll tax cut!
Brooks: the America people are yearning for
a simpler tax code
Maddow: policy matters
Brooks: in his entire Presidency Obama has
only proposed digital textbooks
Becerra: that’s stupid
Gregory: what about Newt Gingrich
Castellanos: he carried philandering
megalomaniacs so he’s got that going for him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
********************************
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'd rather see Obama launch drone strikes at the Vatican than on innocent children.
~
Post a Comment