Host:
Jonathan Karl
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Haley Barbour
David Ignatius
Bill Burton
Nia-Malika Henderson
***************************************
Karl: wow no one likes Mitt Romney
yet he keeps winning delegates!
Audience: you go Mitt
Karl: Rick will you take your hopeless
fight all the way to the convention?
Santorum: I will fight and climb and
scratch and claw until I completely wreck
the party’s chances in the fall
Karl: you’re not concerned about
hurting the GOP?
Santorum: nominating a flip-flopping
cyborg is not going to save the party buddy
Karl: maybe not
Santorum: My losing to Romney is
a good rehearsal so I can
lose to Obama
Karl: there’s no difference between
Obama and Mitt?
Santorum: mandates!
Karl: what else Frothy?
Santorum: Obama bailed out
Wall Street
Karl: that isn’t true
Santorum: Porn!
Karl: speaking of that would you
like to have a head-to-head
one-on-one with Mitt?
Santorum: Mitt even said
“I love man dates!”
Karl: he did?
Santorum: I would love to have a
one-on-one with Romney!
Karl: we can do it right here
on this desk
Santorum: Mitt Romney personally
performed abortions!
Karl: do you think Puerto Ricans
should be forced to speak English?
Santorum: yes just like we made
Oklahomans speak English instead
of Oklahoman!
Karl: we did that?
Santorum: Mitt Romney pandered
to those gauchos!
Karl: should we finally leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: Obama should never have
hinted we might leave - we should tell
everyone we will never ever leave
and then leave
Karl: sounds like a plan
Santorum: we should either leave or
kill everyone in Afghanistan
Karl: what would you do?
Santorum: I would totally win
Karl: how would you do that?
Santorum: by pulling out our troops
Karl: I’m confused
Santorum: I would consult with people
to do what is necessary to accomplish
what should happen
Karl: got it
Karl: Mitt Romney says you are
an economic lightweight
Santorum: People know how much I
care about little people - I demonstrate
it by working in the coal mines of K Street
Karl: I see
Santorum: conservatives don’t create jobs
Karl: I see
Santorum: we don’t need a manager
in Washington - we need a plan to cut
taxes and also not raise taxes
Karl: you on a crusade against porn
Santorum: damn right - I hate all
those sexytime magazines
Karl: what would you do about it?
Santorum: I would issue an Executive Order
to get the Kardashians off television
Karl: you supported Arlen Specter and
he’s a big abortion supporting guy
Santorum: the little fetuses had to
take one for the team
Karl: will you go after Romney for
putting a dog on the roof of his car?
Santorum: that robot has no
human feelings!
Karl: will there be a brokered convention?
Will: Newt Gingrich wants to be another
Warren Harding and he could do it
Henderson: Newt is both Rick’s
wingman and his worst nightmare
Barbour: a brokered convention is
not all bad - the GOP had one in 1976
Karl: you lost in 1976
Barbour: that dang Carter had
some mad political skills
Ignatius: Rick Santorum could be
a great nominee
Burton: Romney could be our first
non-human candidate
Karl: but the 2008 Democratic primary
went on forever
Burton: yes but Clinton and Obama
were great candidates and Frothy
and Mitt are idiots
Barbour: no one likes Obama!
Burton: keep telling yourself that Foghorn
Karl: thanks for coming
********************************************
Sunday, March 18, 2012
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