Sunday, March 04, 2012

Meet The Press - March 4, 2012

Newt Gingrich
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Savannah Guthrie
Mike Murphy
Mark Halperin

Gregory: what will happen Super Tuesday?

Todd: If Romney takes Tennessee this
baby is over!

Gregory: speaking of babies - Newt I
want to ask you about contraception

Gingrich: oh please no

Gregory: Rush Limbaugh called a student
a slut and a prostitute

Gingrich: I am astonished at the
desperation of the media!

Gregory: you don’t want to talk
about contraception?

Gingrich: Obama caused the Afghanistan
war and the recession in 2007 and no one
ever talks about that!

Gregory: I see

Gingrich: Obama wants to turn all
Catholic church property to Muslims!

Gregory: uh-huh

Gingrich: Obama supports murdering babies!

Gregory: please continue

Gingrich: Obama ordered the Catholic
church to give up all colleges and
universities and hospitals

Gregory: so you support Rush Limbaugh?

Gingrich: Obama abandoned soldiers
to Muslim fanatics!

Gregory: got it

Gingrich: should protestants be told
pay for abortion pills?

Gregory: okay

Gingrich: this is the most fundamental
assault on religious freedom ever
but I don’t want to talk about it

Gregory: I think I follow you

Gingrich: this is a very very serious
fundamental fight!

Gregory: oh now suddenly you do
want to talk about it

Gingrich: Fuck you Fluffy

Gregory: you are a loser

Gingrich: we’ve worked very hard to
take my home state

Gregory: you and Rick Santorum are
fighting over the anti-Romney vote

Gingrich: you can’t kill me!
I keep coming back!

Gregory: so you do

Gingrich: unlike Santorum I will not
bow to a Saudi King!

Gregory: I see

Gingrich: I am a pragmatist and not
an ideological pointy-headed
intellectual like Santorum

Gregory: Obama is talking tough on Iran

Gingrich: Obama is a failure because
he never tells me what covert action
he’s taking

Gregory: interesting perspective

Gingrich: Iran clearly doesn’t fear
Obama’s bombs because they are
digging in underground to withstand
Obama’s bombs

Gregory: can the GOP unite?

Gingrich: yes because Obama will
engineer another Holocaust!

Gregory: thanks for coming Newt

[ break ]

Gregory: Eric will you endorse anyone

Cantor: yes I today I endorse Mitt Romney
because I looked at all the candidates
and realized Rick Santorum is crazy
and Gingrich is a total asshole

Gregory: I see

Cantor: Romney will cut taxes which
is a very bold idea which always works

Gregory: Newt and Ricky aren’t even
on the ballot in Virginia

Cantor: what morons

Gregory: would you like to be Vice President?

Cantor: ha you’re so funny Fluffy

Gregory: what do you think of Rush Limbaugh

Cantor: he’s a hero for apologizing

Gregory: Romney waffled on Rush

Cantor: Mitt Romney’s candidacy is
about very clearly taking every side
of every issue

Gregory: why didn’t the House let a
woman testify about contraception?

Cantor: this is about religion - it has
nothing to do with women!

Gregory: why is it bad that insurance
companies would have to pay for
comprehensive health care coverage

Cantor: the government should never
tell people of faith what they can or can’t do

Gregory: what about the rights of women?

Cantor: Obama hates Catholics and
probably Jews too

Gregory: the economy is finally recovering

Cantor: Obama caused the recession in 2007

Gregory: he did?

Cantor: oh yes Fluffy

Gregory: gas prices are high

Cantor: Obama hates fossil fuels which
is terrible - God created those dinosaurs
4,000 years ago so we could take solar panels
off the White House roof

Gregory: wow

Cantor: Obama is hostile to coal - who
doesn’t love puppies, apple pie and coal??

Gregory: What’s wrong with Mittens?

Cantor: I believe he will do well in Virginia

Gregory: he’s the only one on the
ballot besides Ron Paul!

Cantor: so he should get about the
half the votes - maybe more!

Gregory: thanks for coming Eric

[ break ]

Gregory: Debbie Is Obama taking away
religious liberty?

Wasserman-Schultz: No Fluffy

Gregory: so you say

Wasserman-Schultz: the Blunt amendment
would have given an exception to all employers

Gregory: yes but under Obama’s rule
women would have access to contraception
so isn’t Newt Gingrich right?

Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
oppose Obama’s rule you idiot

Gregory: they do?

Wasserman-Schultz: then we had Rush
Limbaugh calling a student a slut and
Mitt Romney didn’t say anything

Gregory: you guys are raising money off this!

Wasserman-Schultz: women vote - who knew?

Gregory: the Catholic church says we
should be all celibate because it’s worked
so well for them

Wasserman-Schultz: Obama already compromised
when he said religious institutions don’t have
to pay for contraception

Gregory: Bill Clinton said Obama should
support the Keystone pipeline

Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
made Obama reject it

Gregory: they did?

Wasserman-Schultz: Keystone would take
45 years and wouldn’t create jobs or
lower gas prices - other than that
it’s a great idea

[ break ]

Gregory: what happens on Super Tuesday?

Halperin: it doesn’t matter - Romney
will still be the nominee

Gregory: he’s still a terrible candidate

Murphy: if he wins Tennessee he can
say he won in the South and pivot to
not terrifying independent voters

Reed: he can’t talk about his Wall Street
record, Olympic earmarks or his health
care plan as Governor

Gregory: aren’t both sides to blame for
what Rush Limbaugh said?

Guthrie: indeed both sides are equally at fault

Greg: did Romney miss a Sister Soljah moment?

Murphy: the liberal versions of Rush Limbaugh
get a free pass for not saying what he said

Guthrie: Obama is worse for calling the
law student and expressing sympathy

Halperin: oh wow you guys are worse than me

Reed: Romney is a timid flip-flopping coward

Gregory: Romney is pretty weak considering
he’s probably going to be the nominee

Guthrie: it’s so sad that better candidates
never got in the race

Gregory: can he unite the party?

Halperin: can he stop being such an
incoherent dumbass?

Murphy: can he speak garbed Spanish
as well as English?

Gregory: he’s seems utterly confused
about everything

Murphy: I feel sorry for Mittens because
nymphomaniacs don’t like him

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

regory: Bill Clinton said Obama should
support the Keystone pipeline

Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
made Obama reject it

Gregory: they did?

Wasserman-Schultz: Keystone would take
45 years and wouldn’t create jobs or
lower gas prices - other than that
it’s a great idea

I love your work always, CoT.

But I strongly suspect the pipeline gets approval soon after President Obama's 2nd term begins.

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