Jake Tapper - Host
Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX)
Tapper: OMG Rick Santorum is coming up from
behind to nail Mitt Romney while Michele
Bachmann brings up the rear!
Karl: Newt Gingrich will not vote for Newt Gingrich
which makes him much like the average American
Gingrich: Politics has become a very nasty
business and dammit I deserve more credit
Bachmann: My campaign chair is an idiot
Luntz: Newt will you cry for me
Newt: I can’t believe I’m losing to Rick Perry!
[ sobs ]
[ break ]
Tapper: Ron Paul you are popular but your
critics say you are crazy and unelectable
Paul: my critics are ignorant
Tapper: you are against two of my favorite wars
Paul: I will cut a trillion dollars from the budget
Paul: I have support from Democrats,
independents and assorted weirdoes
who love liberty
Tapper: did you actually write the Ron Paul
Paul: I wrote all the good stuff but none
of the bad stuff
Tapper: who wrote the racist stuff?
Paul: who can say - probably some racist
Tapper: I see
Paul: Hey I’m against the drug war, death
penalty, useless wars and the court system
Tapper: Do you think the 9/11 attacks were
done by the CIA
Paul: No you blockhead
Tapper: you couldn’t manage a newsletter
with nine people on it?
Paul: Hundreds of people worked on the
Ron Paul newsletter!
Paul: the important thing is all the non-racist
things I have often said
Tapper: good luck doc
[ break ]
Tapper: Michele you won the Iowa straw poll and
now no one likes you - what went wrong?
Bachmann: what happened is I have traveled to
all 99 counties in Iowa and met people in person
Tapper: and your poll numbers plummeted
Bachmann: I have literally gone from town to town
looking for supporters
Tapper: have you found any?
Bachmann: no but I will keep looking
Tapper: Rick Santorum is a lot like you but smart
Bachmann: yes but I sit on the House
Tapper: that is amazing
Bachmann: I am the IRS candidate
Bachmann: I also refused to pay the bills
Republicans ran up when Bush was President
Tapper: that’s hard core
Bachmann: I also hate gay people even more
than Rick Santorum
Tapper: with all due respect I find
that hard to believe
Bachmann: I have 23 foster children
Tapper: will they vote for you?
Bachmann: I’m not looking at my rear view
mirror for Santorum
Tapper: you’re in last place
Bachmann: I am number one in enthusiasm!
Tapper: will your drop out after Iowa?
Bachmann: I am just like Margaret Thatcher
Tapper: how so?
Bachmann: she also was never elected
President of the United States
Tapper: Good luck Michele
[ break ]
Tapper: Romney leads and Ron Paul is right behind
York: Santorum may rise and make a splash
Tanden: Romney does not mind
Santorum coming up behind him
Robinson: Santorum has come up from
Dowd: Santorum will not maintain his stickiness
Tapper: I see
Tanden: Romney will be the least popular
York: negative ads work - who knew?
Robinson: Romney is a flip-flopper but
don’t tell anyone
York: the conservatives are all attacking
each other which will end up nominating Mitt
Tanden: Newt Gingrich has picked the wrong
time not to be an asshole
Tapper: he’s going to draw a contrast by
accusing Rick Santorum of murdering
Susan Smith’s children
York: Gingrich pretending to be statesmen
was great until Romney reminded people
what a dick he is
Robinson: well it’s too late now
Tapper: poor Newt