Sunday, January 15, 2012

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - January 15, 2012

Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX)
Stephen Colbert
Paul Krugman
George Will
Cokie Roberts
Peggy Noonan

Stephanopoulos: Good morning
Governor Perry

Perry: Good morning Jorge

Stephanopoulos: George

Perry: righty-o

Stephanopoulos: you are getting killed
in this race

Perry: like the heroes at the Alamo!

Stephanopoulos: you’re not even on the
ballot in Virginia

Perry: hey Joe they called Ronald Reagan
stupid too

Stephanopoulos: why should people
vote for you?

Perry: I’m Commander-in-Chief of the
Texas Army

Stephanopoulos: you called Mitt Romney
a Vulture Capitalist

Perry: the buzzards are circling Jim

Stephanopoulos: GOP activists are saying you’re
dumb and sound like Occupy Wall Street

Perry: that’s crazy - I don’t even own a drum

Stephanopoulos: did Mitt Romney create
100,000 jobs?

Perry: I don’t know but if he can’t handle me
he sure as heck can’t beat Obama

Stephanopoulos: but Obama will take his
inspiration from you

Perry: I doubt that Jake

Stephanopoulos: what will you do when you
lose in South Carolina?

Perry: I don’t plan ahead Jeff

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Stephen Colbert you are
running for President?

Colbert: I’m exploring it

Stephanopoulos: South Carolina officials say
you have as much chance of winning as you
have of being elected Pope

Colbert: why shouldn’t I be Pope?

Stephanopoulos: they don’t allow write-votes
in South Carolina

Colbert: they also said NASA could never put
cheese in pizza crust

Stephanopoulos: you ran in 2004 as a Democrat
and now you are a Republican - isn’t that a flip-flop?

Colbert: I figured the GOP will take anybody

Stephanopoulos: you have a Super PAC ad out
calling Mitt Romney a serial killer

Colbert: I’ve never seen that ad but it
seems pretty cool

Stephanopoulos: you call him a murderer

Colbert: no Jon Stewart did and he’s right

Stephanopoulos: who will your Vice President be?

Colbert: me

Stephanopoulos: would run a third-party campaign

Colbert: maybe even 4th or 5th

Stephanopoulos: are you running or not?

Colbert: I’m a one-man Lewis & Clark -
I’m exploring

Stephanopoulos: you like Super PACs

Colbert: money is speech George

Stephanopoulos: so you believe corporations
are people?

Colbert: George don’t you believe corporations
are people?

Stephanopoulos: I won’t answer that

Colbert: you sir are a racist!

Stephanopoulos: Roger Ailes says you are crazy

Colbert: Roger is a good friend and we
spa together

Stephanopoulos: are you in this just to air
Super PAC ads

Colbert: that’s Jon Stewart’s Super PAC

Stephanopoulos: not yours?

Colbert: I gave away my baby and that was hard
because my baby had a lot of money

Stephanopoulos: are Super PACs a good thing?

Colbert: there’s $11 million of free speech in
South Carolina!

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Can Romney win in
South Carolina?

Will: yes he will because no one likes him there

Noonan: [ removes glasses with a flourish ]

Karl: 400,000 androids will vote for Romney
in Florida

Noonan: Evangelicals and Tea Partiers can’t decide
between the crazy guy, the weirdo, the moron
and the lunatic

Roberts: Gingrich is a jerk, Rick is a Papist and
Rick Perry is… Rick Perry

Krugman: the GOP only has one agenda - to cut
taxes on rich people

Roberts: Perry calling Romney a vulture helps
the Republican party

Will: the America people love job destruction

Krugman: Bain isn’t a scandal you get out of
the way - it goes to the heart of Romney’s life story

Noonan: By November no one will care that
Romney is evil

Karl: Romney was a wonderful businessman but
a sneaky closet liberal

Noonan: no one cares about that either

Roberts: people think of Romney as slimy

Krugman: America is not a business - after all
the Pentagon doesn’t make a profit

Will: Capitalism is like surgery - it’s necessary but
ugly and no one wants to look at it

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