Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT)
Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL)
Gregory: Chris Dodd - Deal. . . or No Deal?
Dodd: America went for the big money
and lost $11 trillion
Gregory: oh noe
Dodd: Goldman Sachs broke into our house
2 years ago and we haven’t even changed the locks
Gregory: will the GOP ever support reform?
Shelby: it’s a very tedious process and
the bill is 13 million pages
Shelby: we oppose the bill because it
doesn’t go far enough
Gregory: of course you do
Shelby: we will vote for the bill if the
Democrats give us what we want
Gregory: what do you want?
Shelby: to stop the bill
Shelby: sure all 41 Senators oppose reform
but we really want it I swear
Gregory: it turns out the Goldman Sachs bet
against the American economy!
Dodd: it’s wrong to get rich betting housing
prices will fall
Dodd: what if Congress went out of session
and another crisis occurred?!
Gregory: because the ones we have are not enough
Shelby: these Wall Street fuckers produce nothing and just play a big casino game with other people’s money - I’m outraged
Gregory: Banks give politicians contributions -
how is my point relevant?
Dodd: most Senators don’t sell their votes
Shelby: that’s right - they sell them for sex
Gregory: Wall streets execs told me they really
want stringent regulation-
Dodd: bullshit Fluffy
Gregory: but they said their deals are so complex mere mortals cannot understand them
Dodd: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: Geithner says the bill will end
‘too big to fail’
Shelby: it doesn’t go far enough - nothing is
too big to fail - what if we have to bail out reckless pizza parlors?!
Dodd: are you kidding - it goes so far the bill will have Congress inside their sphincters!
Gregory: this debate is about the role of government - some say it should government do its job and then there are Republicans
Dodd: Dogs were given credit cards!
Shelby: it’s true Bush’s Bureaucrats were a little lax
Gregory: Hey we’re all getting rich off the bailouts - maybe we should have more and more bailouts!
Shelby: no I hate American cars
Gregory: isn’t Toyota made in your state?
Shelby: is it?
Dodd: Dancing Dave that’s crazy - look at
Shanghai and Greece
Dodd: Just calm down Fluffy
Gregory: who will look at banks and say “hey maybe you shouldn’t put $5 trillion on the Detroit Lions to win the SuperBowl”
Shelby: Big is not Bad but Bailout Big is Bad
Dodd: the problem is risk Greggers
Gregory: but I read a news article that said
you don’t hate hedge funds
Dodd: I don’t Fluffy - god, you’re dumb
Gregory: what will pass?
Dodd: my bill!
Shelby: I will vote against a bill that doesn’t go far enough which it never will
Gregory: what about this new Arizona law?
Dodd: well I’m sure the Small Government crowd is in favor of stopping people and jailing them if they don’t have their papers on them
Shelby: simple - just arrest everybody
Gregory: Is Obama a liability?
Dodd: he’s an asset Stupid
Shelby: I like Good Things more than Bad Things
Gregory: is he all right?
Dodd: He’s always like this
Gregory: well ok
[ break ]
Gregory: So Arizona has made walking down
the street without identity papers illegal - that’s kind of interesting
Brooks: sure it’s racist but the real problem is that Democrats are going to pass laws for purely political reasons
Gregory: this is very bad for Obama and the Democrats
Norris: indeed David is right - this Arizona bill is bad for Democrats but if Arizona does enforce this law that does seem kind of racist
Gregory: well it’s not like they will be pulling people over for being Hispanic - they will have a pretext first
Thomas: oh it’s fucking racist Fluffy
Gregory: Democrats don’t really want immigration reform because of health care
Burnett: Business only want Chinese and Indian immigrants
Thomas: John McCain used to be the Greatest Centrist Ever and now he is Gives Punditz a Sad
Gregory: Obama claims to want to reform Wall Street and yet he didn’t pull out a gun and start shooting them this week - isn’t that hypocrisy?
Brooks: This is who Obama is - he’s so fucking even-handed he’s like Shiva
Burnett: Financial reform can’t make Wall Street Smart instead of Stupid
Gregory: People dislike Goldman Sachs because they don’t understand what they do - they should hate them because they bet against the economy
Norris: Oh they’re just evil Fluffy
Gregory: so so so sad
Brooks: we should all thank Goldman Sachs for ending the housing bubble
Gregory: they bet against the market - that’s good for
capitalism but bad for society
Thomas: no the issue is they were defrauding their clients
Gregory: Mayor Bloomberg asks who will weep for Wall Street - what if they all move overseas and take all their wonderful jobs with them??
Burnett: Goldman will plead stupidity
Gregory: David Brooks you say Democrats have ruined America by creating a Small Government vs Big Government debate
Gregory: that is so sad why would Democrats do that??
Brooks: they are divisive - amazingly this benefits Republicans
Gregory: a lot of people like me hate government
Thomas: Obama is low in the polls considering he is the most popular politician in America
Gregory: The Wall Street Journal says we must a fight between those who say we must eliminate Medicare and those who say we should ban all brown people
Norris: A true uniter like Reagan would do both
Gregory: Obama should cut taxes and not
go after Wall Street
Burnett: The economy is growing - yay!
Thomas: no we need still to cut the debt
Norris: I give you four words - baby boomers
Brooks: Democrats have had the worst year politically since the Social Democrats lost Weimar
Gregory: How terrible is Obama?
Brooks: he’s very terrible - he’s lost independents
Norris: but the GOP has gone completely insane
Brooks: true - but the GOP will do really well this year because there is a lot of disgust out there
Gregory: Obama is a liability isn’t he?
Thomas: he’s not insane enough - no one is listening to him
Gregory: what should he do?
Thomas: Move to the Mythic Center!