Sunday, April 25, 2010

This Week with Jake Tapper - April 25, 2010

Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OR)
Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN)
Austan Goolsbee (White House Economic Advisor
Tapper: hey it turns out Goldman Sachs is evil
- who knew?!

Brown: yes it’s quite a fascinating turn of events

Tapper: are they in-inbred with a conflict of interest?

Corker: we need to wait and see just exactly
how evil they are

Tapper: ok

Corker: let’s face it, the victims fucked up
- they trust Goldman Sachs

Tapper: so what would Obama Bankcare do?

Goolsbee: the law would require the CEO of Goldman to walk around NYC wearing a sign saying “I Defraud My Clients”

Tapper: will the GOP filibuster reform?

Corker: the GOP really really really wants reform
- so yes

Tapper: I see

Corker: the Constitution requires 60 votes
to pass a bill

Tapper: how fascinating

Corker: also the Constitution requires all bills be short enough to read during a commercial break

Tapper: of course

Tapper: does this bill end ‘too big too fail’?

Brown: it sure does - but look if you’re too big
too fail then you are too fucking big

Tapper: why does the President support bailouts?

Goolsbee: hey fuckers - Obama is going to end the Bush Bailout Era for good!

Tapper: ok ok -

Goolsbee: damm right!

Tapper: the rich executives all get bailed and drive off in their Aston Martins

Goolsbee: the Aston Martin era is over - Time for the fuckin’ Austan Goolsbee Era!

Corker: Dodd left me at the altar!

Tapper: why doesn’t Obama support hurting Wall Street executives?

Goolsbee: Let’s fucking do it - but don’t use that
as an excuse to kill the reform bill

Tapper: Is Blanche Lincoln right about derivatives and how the hell did that happen?

Brown: she is right amazingly enough - the farm people are all up with their pitchforks and they’re mad as hell

Tapper: what about telling banks not to gamble government money at casinos?

Goolsbee: we’re all over that Jake - it’s $600 trillion!

Tapper: you seem passionate about this Austan

Goolsbee: damm fucking right - Obama hates derivatives!

Corker: Oh sure if you’re from a hick farming state you hate derivatives but I’m from a real state and we need gambling to keep the capitalist machine going

Tapper: dude you’re from Chatanooga
not fucking Zurich



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