Host:
Jake Tapper
Guests:
Bill Clinton
**********************
Tapper: You started a debate about how lunatics are threatening violence which we were never talking about before
Clinton: indeed
Tapper: Rush Limbaugh says by pointing out the crazy things people are saying any violence will
be your fault
Clinton: that’s fucking crazy
Tapper: but he’s so credible
Clinton: by saying Idaho should secede they create a climate where people wear flag hats and claim Obama is an arab
Tapper: maybe Idaho should secede - their only resources are potatoes and white supremacists
Clinton: and the next thing you know you have American tragedies like Oklahoma City and the decline of John McCain
Tapper: is this like 1994?
Clinton: yes we provoked violence back then by ending trickle down economics and in 2008 by putting a black guy in the White House
Tapper: you are digitizing the entire world with your CGI Intitiative - will we all live on Pandora?
Clinton: no - although that would be cool
Tapper: where are your charities helping?
Clinton: we are trying to save devastated areas like Haiti, West Africa, Rhode Island and Syracuse
Tapper: wow that’s bold
Clinton: we’re installing solar lanterns in India
Tapper: Solar Lantern would be a cool
comic character
Clinton: awesome
Tapper: how do you get business to give
away money?
Clinton: Pfizer has a monopoly on a life saving drug and they realized they were losing out on a huge market of poor sick dying people
Tapper: they are filled with humanitarianism
Clinton: I appealed to their innate selfishness
Tapper: good idea - how do you deal with
rampant corruption?
Clinton: I was recently in a place where there were many poor people sleeping on the streets with a few rich people in government-paid limousines - the problem was no one in the whole nation even expect decent jobs, housing or health care
Tapper: were you in Somalia?
Clinton: no Washington DC
Tapper: What advice would you give Obama on choosing a Supreme Court justice?
Clinton: Hey Democrats allowed a vote on psychos like Clarence Thomas and Scalia - Obama might as well appoint a lesbian Native American Wiccan Communist
Tapper: but that would be divisive
Clinton: like Bush v. Gore? Fuck ‘em all
Tapper: so who would be a good choice?
Clinton: someone who has not been a judge?
Tapper: like who
Clinton: a county judge
Tapper: anyone else?
Clinton: someone with a big brain like Mario Cuomo
Tapper: well why not Bill Clinton
Clinton: I don’t think so - there’s no action on
the Court Tapper!
Tapper: Hatch wants your wife
Clinton: well so do I - but she’s too old
Tapper: Was Rubin wrong to deregulate the banks?
Clinton: no the problem is Bush crushed the SEC
Tapper: what about derivatives?
Clinton: it turned out that rich people are incredibly stupid and willing to bring down an entire system for a little money
Tapper: how do we get peace in the Middle East?
Clinton: we need a Palestinian state
Tapper: that would help
Clinton: hell the UAE is building a carbon-neutral city but all we can talk about is the Israel-Palestinian problem - it’s fucking annoying
Tapper: Obama enacted health care reform - do you get any credit?
Clinton: hell yes - we got a bill out of committee but then Bill Kristol killed it because he’s the biggest prick in the universe
Tapper: true enough
*******************
by Culture of Truth
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment