Sunday, December 06, 2009

This Week with George Stephanopoulos - December 6, 2009

December 6, 2009
Guests:
Sec. Hillary Clinton
Sec. Bob Gates
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Stephanopoulos: Sec. Gates and Clinton thanks for coming - President McCain says we should stay in Afghanistan forever

Gates: this isn’t an exit strategy - it’s a gradual conditions-based get-the-fuck-out-of-that-hellhole-strategy

Stephanopoulos: so when do we leave

Gates: we will bring in the cavalry and they will stand on a hill and watch Afghanistan disintegrate

Stephanopoulos: should we commit troops to Karzai who makes the Godfather look like Mr. Rogers?

Clinton: he may be a corrupt bastard but he’s
our corrupt bastard

Stephanopoulos: ok

Clinton: the proof will be in the pudding

Stephanopoulos: interesting metaphor

Clinton: it’s not a metaphor - that’s where he
hides his bribes

Stephanopoulos: ah

Stephanopoulos: John Kerry points out that Bush and Pakistan let Osama bin Laden get away

Gates: yeah so what

Stephanopoulos: well where is Osama?

Gates: we haven’t received a Christmas
card from him in years

Stephanopoulos: no idea where he is?

Gates: He has been practically invisible for a long long time

Stephanopoulos: He was on Jay Leno twice
last month

Gates: see what I mean

Stephanopoulos: talk Taliban to me

Clinton: they have to renounce violence
and extremism

Stephanopoulos: you can’t even get that
from the Teabaggers

Stephanopoulos: Shouldn’t this war be paid for while we fight it for the first time ever now that a black man is President??

Clinton: the Afghan war will be paid for by not fighting a useless war in Iraq

Stephanopoulos: why spend $30 billion to get 100 Al-Qaeda fighters - you could send them all
to Harvard for that

Gates: yeah but we’re trying to get them away from schools of radical rhetoric

Stephanopoulos: that’s a good point

Stephanopoulos: What’s your best argument for getting further bogged down Afghanistan?

Gates: the mighty Soviet Union was defeated there and it brought down the entire empire and breaking up that nation

Stephanopoulos: well I’m convinced

Stephanopoulos: Sec. Clinton should we
invade Italy?

Clinton: it would be more fun that going in the middle east

Stephanopoulos: Awesome

Stephanopoulos: Don’t we have to defeat Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan or it will destabilize Pakistan and Yemen?

Feingold: no they will all move to Pakistan - rather
we should not be there so they will not leave

Stephanopoulos: so should we leave or go?

Feingold: we should have a rational policy

Stephanopoulos: that’s it?

Feingold: you’d be surprised how controversial
that is in Washington

Stephanopoulos: ok

Feingold: no one would invade Afghanistan in
2009 would they?

Stephanopoulos: but for 9/11

Feingold: but we won when we chased them
into Pakistan

Stephanopoulos: can you stop this surge in Afghanistan?

Feingold: probably not - but we in the U.S. are
out of money

Stephanopoulos: speaking of that - can we afford a public health option?

Feingold: it’s fucking exciting fucker!

Stephanopoulos: Senator your language!

Feingold: sorry dude but the details of public policy get me all hot motherfucker!

Stephanopoulos: ok thanks Russ
**********************

2 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Stephanopoulos: He was on Jay Leno twice last month

Gates: see what I mean


Awesome, as always.
~

Lil said...

Stephanopoulos: why spend $30 billion to get 100 Al-Qaeda fighters - you could send them all
to Harvard for that

Gates: yeah but we’re trying to get them away from schools of radical rhetoric

Stephanopoulos: that’s a good point


hahaha It's official - I no longer have to listen to these people at all. Thank you CoT for freeing up my Sunday mornings. Catching up with your translations is a far better use of my time. I feel like I was there!